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Acrostic Humorous Poems | Acrostic Poems About Humorous

These Acrostic Humorous poems are examples of Acrostic poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Acrostic Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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The Bard's Wind - Acrostrain

Wind that I pass poisons air with one blow
It stinks to the moon, stays 'til the morrow
Nonchalant, nearly blue, frown on my brow
Don't hold it; Farting is such sweet sorrow. 1





Notes:
1.	A play on Shakespeare's famous line, Romeo and Juliet: Act 2, Scene 2.

2.	While I do not wish to offend the fine sensibilities of our more delicate poets, most of us are familiar with the The Bard’s propensity to include references to farting in his plays. To name a few:
Comedy of Errors: Scene I; Two Gentlemen of Verona: Scene IV; and Henry IV: Part I



24 October, 2015
Wind, Snow or Rain Acrostrain
Sponsor: Jan Allison

Copyright © KP Nunez | Year Posted 2015

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CASARAH NANCE - FOR BRIBE ME CONTEST

Clean your house from top to bottom – any other chores you want me to do?
A cup of steaming coffee is ready – I know you just love your brew
So you want me to get the shopping – I’ll have it right on cue
Anything special you require, I’ll pay and have it delivered to you
Run your bath – no problem, I’ll put some bubbles in it too
And my babysitting service is free – no dollar spends are due
Have a wonderful meal out with Tom, a treat for you is overdue

No problem what time you return  – I’ll bid you both adieu
Abby will be fine, I’ve written a story for her about a kangaroo
Now remember I’ve paid for the taxi and your meal -  it's cordon blue
Contest – what contest!  As if I’m trying to influence you ...
Even a honourable mention will do!

10~11~15
You want it bad – then bribe me contest
Sponsor Casarah Nance

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

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Cookies

Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?

Copyright © JW Earnings | Year Posted 2013

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BLACK FRIDAY

Bargains galore!
Lots of people out shopping
All looking for that special gift
Carrier bags bulging
Keep an eye on the spending

Frazzled tempers
Riots break out
I got the LAST one
Don’t ever want to go shopping again
All I want is to go home
Yipee  ... only 365 days till we do it all over again!!!

Jan Allison
27th November 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

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Smile

Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life

Copyright © Amy Rose | Year Posted 2013

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Reflections: Midlife Crisis

P     aranoia permeates, etching itself into your fractured face,
A     cacophony of constant pressure; life remains a stressful race,
N     othing to hope for, no positives like promotion in the workplace,
I      nability to love, relationships lift anchor and set sail without chase,
C     hildren crushing dreams under mortgages; age grows with disgrace
!!

Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013

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NUDE

N othing should obscure what nature did intend

U nfortunately on clothes most of us do depend

D ivine is how I feel when I'm in the buff

E nraged are the prudes that don't, that gets them in a huff.


For Andrea Dietrich's Four-Letter Words: An Acrostic Challenge

Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane | Year Posted 2013

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Boobs

Jugs of an  INORDINATE  size
I can't help but lOOk at them
Giggles escape from my lips
Grapefruit like in shape
Lively like bounce
In my face
Nifty 
Gift





Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2015

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LOST CONTEST

Looking down all the way to the very bottom of the winner’s list
Oh dear, my name is missing again
So I’ve got yet another N/A for my ever growing collection …
Thank goodness for the ‘Trashed’ and ‘Screwed’ contests!

Contest: Lost
Sponsor Broken Wings
02~04~16

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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BAWDY - AcrosticI Love Five Contest

Beautiful lady with bosoms so large
Always on show, for men’s eyes to admire
Walks with a sway, hands on hips, just to send 
Desire through the veins of the eye bulging men.
Years of practice, this "lady" has it down to a fine art.

Copyright © Seren Roberts | Year Posted 2013

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UFO Drama Group

Universal in high-school theater groups-
Final call  from their coach, “Kids, go break a leg!”
Overanxious blonde runs to get the cast.

Copyright © Reason A. Poteet | Year Posted 2013

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MEN acrostic

                                                 MEN

               Maybe G_d was tired when he enlivened Adam first
               Who would organize the world so full of stuff--
               No man can find his keys without a woman toting purse

Victoria Anderson-Throop (c)2013

Copyright © Victoria Anderson-Throop | Year Posted 2013

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LAWYERS

Legal eagles or vultures?
Alimony and divorce
Wills
Your problem is in their best financial interest
Enduring power of Attorney
Representing you at a exorbitant fee
Stay away from them if you can!


Jan Allison
6th May 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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LAUGHTER

Laughter is a true medicine
Artful mood changing dietician
Universal umpire of fun
Gigantic pain reducing gun
Heaving hearty hullabaloo
Tombstones stress to Kalamazoo
Engineers relationship glue
Real flavor boost for life's fondue.

Copyright © Faye Gibson | Year Posted 2014

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Jack Frost

Jack slide across the slippery ice to land on his…
Ass frozen like an icicle in the dead of winter…
Calling out “help me, help me!”
Kicking his body every which way he…

Falls yet again on the cold marble floor… of glass…
Rolling and spinning he tumbles steadily toward the edge…
Of the glistening mirror staring back at him…
Singing a chorus of “Ouch, ouch, ouch” he…
Takes a deep breath and finally reaches… the towering…snowbank!





December 7th 2015
For the contest: “Acrostic: Jack Frost”

Copyright © Meg Anderson | Year Posted 2015

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GARDEN ANGST

So thoughtfully planted, these treats for your sight
Long awaited blooms rising up to the light
Under your care as they thrive poised in the sun
Gorgeous petals admired one-by-one 
Beckoning those who should happen upon them 
As the slow and sly grasp roots for ascension
In expectation of the coming reward for their hikes
Thanks left in slime for the delectable bites.

Written on 03/21/2013 for Garden Contest

Copyright © SM Koval | Year Posted 2013

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INTROSPECTION

I’m on the inside looking out 
No that’s not right … I’m on the outside looking in -
There I go unable to decide
Right I better start soul searching and analysing myself
Or I will never get this poem finished.
Self-reflection – I wonder if I am too 
Preoccupied, just forever contemplating my naval and
Endlessly beating myself up at my inadequacies.
Clearly I need to get a grip on reality ….
Today would be an ideal time to do it!
Instead of ruminating and chewing over the fat I
Obsess at my faults and
Never give myself credit for things I do well.

Tongue in cheek write (I hope) for Introspection contest

06~26~16

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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Halloween

High festive confusion among real monsters
Around that wonderful time of the year, for:
Lay men mistook Dracula for Edward Cullen,
Lost Big Foot, they called "Chewy"
Offense they did to evil wizards when they whispher "Hogwarts is real"
Wicked witches were thought from the West,
Every werewolf was seen as a teen,
Even the Devil is encouraged to wear Prada, that 
No human that night guessed the monsters were real!

October 22, 2016

Copyright © Nana B. | Year Posted 2016

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YOU COULD LOOK IN YOUR LEFT POCKET FOR SOMETHING YOU MAY RIGHT WITH

Look to you! 

LOOk! 

It could pocket you.
YOU pocket you. 

Something with you it COULD  ;  right with. 
          Right with you- 

                     You with right pocket.

          Something right with you- 
You could right.
          With something;     you could. 
                      With right, you could. 

LOOK in your pocket!

May you-?   

           Look IN your riGht for. 

Left in YOUR pocket with right- 
                        Something you right;

Right something you left with. 

You left. 
          Something right-

Left with something!
Something in left pocket- 

YOU LEFT WITH SOMETHING IN YOUR POCKET!
Pocket something- Pocket; LEFT -
YOU LEFT WITH SOMETHING IN YOUR POCKET!
In your left POCKET, look for something. LOOk, Something may; Something could- Look FOR something on your pocket. May something- Something may. May SOMETHING- Look in your left pocket! Look in your right pocket with May. May left YOU for your right. MAY left you. You left right. You look right. Your RIGHT- May left WITH something- May left with your right. -Ironic Zinc 2015

Copyright © Ir0nic ZiNk | Year Posted 2016

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CAPTCHA

8 is a good age~no cares~no worries
3 added beside that eight~83~well could be different
H ealth issues, heart issues, hurt issues
W ell this was just a start 

83HW...CAPTCHA

Copyright © Sara Kendrick | Year Posted 2013

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Love Me

Leave me alone you beautified bitch;
Oh ghastly and ghoulish playpen of a witch.
Vases of roses are covering your deeds;
Eloquent verses describe your sick needs. 

Many come calling but none ever leave; 
Even my dumb heart now wants a reprieve.


written 04.02.2016

Copyright © Francis J Grasso | Year Posted 2016

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Haiku Reader Dies

Headline news lead bleeds
Accidental haiku death
Investigated

Killed by tainted verse
Unidentified victim
Radioactive

Exotic poem
Attracts curious reader
Dripping vitriol

Extreme allergic
Reaction resulted in
Death of some poor schmuck

Industry spokes folks
Encourage illiterates
Stay away from words

Copyright © Jaey Peele | Year Posted 2015

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Only Julie ann Jones could get Satan on Crack

I was waliking by our's late one Saturday night,when I bumps into Satan I was out scorin' white*,
So I say's,"Now then fella,What's up with ya face?Cause of fire 'n' brimstone I can't find a trace,
Well I've heard all the rumours,I've heard all the hype,but ya seem like a nice lad,D'ya fancy a pipe?
Well he glanced at me briefly then Satan did say,"can ya get me some tackle,top sh*t 'n' class 'A'?
So I told him he'd have to hand over the dough,if some fella with horns tries to score they'll say no,
And thesen dealers don't deal with outsiders [that's best],especially when with pitch-fork and hooves they be blessed,
So I left him stood waiting and what a mistake,when my dealer turned up oing right off his cake,
"F*ckin' hell girl"he said,"What've I told you before?Fckin' swerve all these cranks you keep bringin' to score,
well ya no longer blonde,but ya still f*ckin' dizzy,how'd ya know that that fella's not a snitch or a bizzy?
Well | got all the knowledge straiht from the top shelf,that's no plod ya daft tw*t that's the Devil himself,
[That was six months ago,the poor c*nt ain't looked back,only Julie-ann Jones could get satan on \Crack.




Copyright © julie-ann jones | Year Posted 2014

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Orchard Fantasy

Only Nature can make an organic tree.
Releasing poisons are forbidden you see.
Get out of the way, give nature a hand,
And let bees do their jobs upon the land.
Not every fruit will be pretty, but youy’ll say,
“I’ll take one ‘cos man didn’t get in the way.”
Choose wisely when you go to market today!

Flowering fruit trees lined up in a row,
Releasing their fragrance, put on a show.
Under the bright shining sun, they will grow
Instinctively making sweet fruit as they go.
Take one off the tree when it looks just right
Sticky face and hands, you do look a sight!

Copyright, August 16, 2016

Copyright © Betty Janko | Year Posted 2016

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Monk

M onk may be a little odd,
I n a TV show.
S till, he's the kind of person
T hat we all need to know.
E ven with his foibles, he
R eally seems to glow.

M any of us ponder
O n where he gets his dough.
N evertheless, we still
K eep watching TV show.

Copyright © Terry Hoffman | Year Posted 2016

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ACROSTIC II

We’ve arrived in our machine at the End of Time.
Everything, everyone
Left behind,
Left in the dustbin of history;

Predictions and prophecies now gone 
And set free;
Reruns all that are on
The TV;
Yesterdays all that will ever be,

Leaving the final mystery
In an enigma
Kept inside and 
Enclosed behind

The doors and the walls of the 
Here And Now.
Everything gone in a fiery blaze;
Ruin and destruction and 
End of Days.

Infinite time,
Stilled at long last;

No more future,
Only the past;

Today will 
Only just be the last.
Mornings and midnights never more.
Outside of time now we’ll 
Riot and rave, just like before,
Repress our sorrows, misbehave, and 
On this day of the Sun’s last risen,
WE'LL PARTY LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROWS.
Since, like, you know, there isn’t! 


(Revised Oct 28, 29)

Copyright © Jerome Malenfant | Year Posted 2016

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ACROSTIC

Doctor Kildare cried in terror,
“Egad, Sir, the horror, horror!!
Lunatics, psychos, crazies
Inside my room, crawling, craving!!
Raving ‘bout the demons feasting  
Inside their brains, also screaming!
Unconfined and running rampant!
Madmen all!!  (Hey, there’s my accountant!)”

Copyright © Jerome Malenfant | Year Posted 2016

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ACROSTIC-Expanded version

Doctor Kildare cried in terror,
“Egad, Sir, the horror, horror!!
Lunatics, psychos, crazies
Inside my room, crawling, craving!!
Raving ‘bout the demons feasting  
Inside their brains, also screaming!
Unconfined and running rampant!
Madmen all!!  (Hey, there’s my accountant!)”

Doctor Gillespie, hearing the din,
Entered the room that Kildare was in,
Looked all around and offered advice:
“I do hope that you find that your room here is nice.
Refreshments at ten, so 
I’ll leave 
Until then.  Ahh! I see that you’ve
Met all your fellow madmen.”

Copyright © Jerome Malenfant | Year Posted 2016

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ZANY


     ZANY

     Zigzag path slipped on snow by sneaking snake.
     And Yeti stepped straight. Both relished whisky.
     Next, snake rushed fast straight without break.
     Yeti ran zigzag, yet steps turned risky.

    Form Acrostic Quatrain
  
12/01/16
              ZANY Contest by Frank Herrara

Copyright © Anisha Dutta | Year Posted 2016