When Nature Calls

I strain against the rising tide But I find no solace there. My only hope for some success Is to turn to fervent prayer. Now you may think it childish But I care not what others say. So leave me to my supplication And hope relief will come my way. How did I come to this dilemma That has brought me close to tears? The fault is mine and mine alone... I have lived too many years. Old age is wrapped around me And Death taunts me with its laugh. I turn to prayer to exhort dear Heaven To intercede on my behalf. My battered body lies is in tatters... I've added ten inches to my waist. I've enough ear hair to traumatize a sailor... I've lost my sense of taste. Old age should not to be entered into lightly With its oddities and quirks. But I've finally reached that stage of life Where nothing really works. There were things I took for granted In the ignorance of my youth. Those days are just a memory now As I confront this awful truth. I am possessed with fear and panic And in pain I'm forced to stoop. So sweet Jesus... Lord in Heaven... Why can't I take a poop? The End *Follow my cartoon at Webtoon Bob's Your Uncle