The Sacrifice of the Forest

haven't laughed much lately the sound just doesn't hold the same meaning not when the trees taunt me by dropping their leaves making me think it's alright to sit quietly, bleeding death comes so easily for them and i sit watching each fall with such envy my autumn has come and gone, and I'm still here the leaves never have to stay long enough to feel this empty i sit and imagine myself as one of them tired and weak, falling, floating, letting go not having to explain why i couldn't stand up to the wind everyone understands that I'm just making room for others to grow letting my life into the soil, finally serving a purpose what a sense of accomplishment that would be i can almost taste the anticipation i would feel while falling knowing that more deserving ones will be able to live because of me the human existence is far more complicated however and i find myself staring at the forest in shame knowing that their death is more noble and self sacrificing than this self centered depression that i should just try and tame I manage to peel my mind off the forest floor amidst all the martyred leaves i wanted so desperately to become i breathe in the life they have given up and decide that i can't leave with so much yet to be done