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Jared Pickett Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Supernatural which was written by poet Jared Pickett. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Ghouls and vampires
angels and demons.
The Winchesters retire
satans archaic legion.

Sam, the younger 
of the hunters,
gains strength from demon blood,
his crack, this cures his hunger.

Dean, the older of the two
his heavy fists make him a brute.
Once died, became satans dude,
revived, the brothers feud.

Name withheld until contest is over

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  1. Date: 2/18/2014 11:46:00 AM
    Love the content of this piece, but your rhyme is a little jagged. In the first stanza, what about changing "archaic" to "relic"? They are close in meaning and there is one less syllable (beat) that throws off the rhyme. The second stanza I think you should play around with; in my head, I was think "Sam the younger of the hunters gains his strength from demon blood. (just as an example) Weapons crack, a lethal attack- killing foes cures his hunger". Do you see how it smooths out the rhythm? brb

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/18/2014 11:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    CRAP! "Killing foes cures his hunger as they drop with sudden thus" (or something along those lines; just trying to give you ideas to even it out)
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/18/2014 11:53:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ARGH! *sudden THUD, not "thus". I can't type today!!!!!
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/18/2014 11:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol should say *in my head I was thinking
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 2/18/2014 11:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    You should really rework the third line in the last stanza; "dude" is extremely weak. Try and think of something along the lines of a minion that comes close to rhyming with "two" (I know you can do it!). Hope this has been helpful, bud :)
  1. Date: 6/6/2012 6:52:00 AM
    When I click on one of your poems I know it will be exceptional Jared. Thank you for sharing your words with us. I hope all is well with you and yours. I will stop back again soon. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 3/26/2011 5:53:00 AM
    Whoa.. luv don't leave me hanging like that .. what constitutes crazy? pray tell more please.. u can use my yahoo mail: soukp mail though I tend not to lately... so are u 'hooked up in luv"? .. such a long time since I saw your name on my work and was thinking of u always luv.. appreciate your compliments on my poetry.. since u departed from P.S. Ron bought me a Lifetime Membership ... he appreciates ALL my talents..haha.. ya know? let me hear from u luv.OK?

  1. Date: 5/27/2010 6:24:00 PM
    Congrats on your win, Bro...and thnx for reading and leaving comments on my pieces...later, my friend, Jimmy

  1. Date: 5/19/2010 2:54:00 PM
    favorite show. Soup mail Light & love

  1. Date: 5/16/2010 7:38:00 PM
    Mr. JP, I use to watch this program and it was very good. I love your poem. It describes it perfectly. Congratulations on winning. You deserve it. Scarlett

  1. Date: 5/15/2010 10:31:00 PM
    This is a new one to me. Never heard of it and I don't think I want to, But to each his own and you described it well. Congratualtions. Joyce

  1. Date: 5/15/2010 7:55:00 PM
    Great poem, Jared. I'm wondering which network carries this show -- never saw it, but it sounds very intriguing. Congratulations on your success in the contest! Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 5/15/2010 7:49:00 PM
    Congrats Jared on your success in my TV contest with this wonderful write .. luv this show myself.. its a fav.. thankxxx for your constant support..luv.. Linda-Marie..

  1. Date: 5/13/2010 9:02:00 AM
    Hey Jared, good lck in the contest, Bro....and thnx for leaving comments on my write...still waiting to hear from you re: collab..."The Duel"??? Know your kinda busy! Later, Jimmy

  1. Date: 5/12/2010 5:07:00 AM
    Interesting I guess that I have not looked at this contest....Good luck..Thanks for stopping by and commenting,..Sara

  1. Date: 5/12/2010 3:11:00 AM
    well done, Jarred, nice on the contest, wishing you the best on luck, always,..p.d.

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:34:00 PM
    That sestina poem was from the frustration of trying to write a sestina. LOL I did finally get one wrote but I am not happy with it. good to hear form you.

  1. Date: 5/11/2010 7:51:00 AM
    Well written Son, I enjoyed this good versus evil write...Love Dad

  1. Date: 5/10/2010 6:21:00 PM
    I enjoyed the last quatrain and humor in it

  1. Date: 5/10/2010 3:23:00 PM
    LOVED IT!!!

  1. Date: 5/10/2010 10:16:00 AM
    Great work,glad to see you posting. .Charma

  1. Date: 5/10/2010 9:09:00 AM