Santa the Grinch and the FBI
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'Twas the night before Christmas and it was heavily snowing
The windows in the house rattled with the wind that was blowing
Santa looked out through the window and it filled him with dread
He was in two minds whether or not to go back to his bed.
"You will do no such thing", Mrs Claus said with a frown
"Kids the world over are expecting you, don't let them down"
Santa swore softly under his breath and then headed outside
And felt dread knowing it was going to be one hell of a ride.
He put the harness on the reindeer with Rudolph at the front
Who showed his great displeasure and gave a loud grunt
The elves brought out presents and loaded them on the sleigh
Santa heaved himself aboard and they were soon on their way.
The sleigh was being pummelled to the left and to the right
Santa had to hold on the reins tightly with all his might
Visability was minus zero he couldn't see a darn thing
Which town he'd arrive at first he had no way of knowing.
He put down the sleigh in a field to work out his location
But the wind was flapping his map adding to his frustration
For the first time in his long life he was feeling sad and alone
Then he heard jingle bells which was the ringtone on his phone.
He took the phone out of his pocket and said "Hello ho ho ho"
"This is the FBI" a voice said "There's something you should know
The Grinch is controlling the weather and he's got a machine
Wants to derail Christmas and for kids to say he hasn't been".
"But we've located the signal it's transmitting from his hideout
We're sending a predator drone to take him and his machine out
We'll keep you updated and we will save Christmas day
The Grinch won't get away with this and we'll make him pay".
Santa filled his clay pipe with baccy and was puffing away
But he was worried if he failed and what Mrs Claus would say
Then an hour later Jingle Bells played again, it was the FBI
Who told Santa the Grinch is no more and you can take to the sky.
Santa glanced upwards and it had now stopped snowing
And the hurricane force wind from earlier had also stopped blowing
He cracked his whip and then shouted "Rudolph lead the way"
And added "Full speed ahead or it will be soon Christmas Day".
They moved as quickly as they could calling to every city and town
Santa had a big smile on his rosy cheeks and no longer a frown
He delivered all the presents and then headed, to Pennsylvania Avenue
To deliver champagne to the FBI as his way of saying' thank you'.
He arrived back at the North Pole as the sun was starting to rise
Mrs Claus was standing in the doorway, it was a lovely surprise
She said" Merry Christmas darling Santa and how did your trip go?"
He said" But for our friends in the FBI I would have been a no show".
He unbridled the reindeer and put them into their warm stable
Then he placed carrots and sweet treats for them on a low table
He walked the short distance to his house and then went inside
And poured himself a large brandy and sat by the fireside.
Mrs Claus brought him some breakfast of pancakes and coffee
Then she put on her favourite Christmas song by Bing Crosby
Santa was now very relaxed and sitting, in his chair contentedly
Knowing every child worldwide would find presents under the tree.
Meanwhile in the town of Whoville something strange was occurring
Under great mounds of rubble an angry green creature was stirring
T'was the Grinch who'd managed to survive the missile attack
And with a loud bellowing voice roared, "Next Christmas I'll be back".
(The FBI headquarters is in Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC. )
Written on 1st December 2022
For The Night Before 3 Poetry Contest
Sponsored By Joseph May.
Copyright © Tom Cunningham | Year Posted 2022
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