Home » Poems » Susan Ashley » Rapture - Hiku

Rapture - Hiku

native drums beat in sync dreams dance round the fire -- my head on his chest Susan Ashley November 21, 2021 ~ Third Place ~ Premiere Contest: A Hiku Poetry Contest Sponsor: Brian Strand ~ Seventh Place ~ Premiere Contest: Hiku (Disciplined Brevity) Sponsor: William Kekaula howmanysyllables.com: 16; 6 - 5 - 5 howmanysyllables.com/words/fire: 1 syllable

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Michelle Morris

Date: 1/28/2023 1:07:00 PM

Lovely poem. Congratulations on your achievements. Well done and best wishes. :-)

Susan Ashley
Date: 1/29/2023 8:18:00 AM

Dear Michelle, your heartwarming comments and congrats are both lovely to receive. Thank you for your kindness, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sam Kauffman

Date: 1/9/2023 11:22:00 AM

My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend congratulations on another outstanding poem on the winners list! I can feel the vibrations of the drumbeat and feel the intimacy in your ku - the warmth of a gentle embrace! This is so lovely. Happy New Year dear Friend. Sending you blessings of joy and peace in the drumbeat of eternal grace along with a hug!

Susan Ashley
Date: 1/10/2023 11:43:00 AM

My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your heartwarming congrats and for the embrace of your precious thoughts. I'm so glad to know you felt the vibrations of romance, your keen perception never lets you down, my sweet poetry sis. I hope you enjoyed a joyous and beautiful Holiday Season. May your 2023 be filled with lots of health, love, happiness and poetic inspiration. Warmest wishes and hugs sent on eternal rhythms.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/28/2022 2:27:00 PM

Back with more congrats on this beauty

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/28/2022 5:31:00 PM

Dear Andrea, thank you for your return visit and for your heartwarming congrats. Both are truly appreciated, sweet lady. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Brian Sambourne

Date: 12/28/2022 11:08:00 AM

A haiku of romantic bliss. Enjoyed it immensely! Congratulations. Be well dear poet. Sincerely, Brian

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/28/2022 5:29:00 PM

Dear Brian, I relish your return visit. Thank you for your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats. Both are received with gratitude. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan (soup mail)

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 12/28/2022 9:43:00 AM

Back with Congratulations on your new win. A creative/lovely write. I enjoyed it. Have A Merry/Happy/Healthy/Blessed New Year 2023....................

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/28/2022 5:34:00 PM

Dear Paula, your return visit is delightful and your heartwarming congrats are treasured. Warmest wishes for a happy, healthy and inspiring new year, my friend! ~Susan

Line Gauthier

Date: 9/26/2022 9:54:00 PM

Charming brevity ~

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/27/2022 6:01:00 AM

Dear Line, it’s always wonderful to hear from you. Thank you, for your lovely comment and visit. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Fj Thomas

Date: 6/22/2022 12:07:00 PM

An enchanting picture Susan :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/22/2022 12:13:00 PM

Dear FJ, it a pleasure to see you! Thank you for your visit and lovely comment. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Malabika Ray Choudhury

Date: 6/13/2022 6:44:00 AM

Dearest Susan, reading your poems is an exciting experience - brevity at its best in this poem of revelry as well as romance! 'dreams dance around the fire" - what an enchanting image! Fave for me! Love and blessings, My Dearest Susan - please continue writing your charming pieces ~ Mala

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/14/2022 7:27:00 PM

Dearest Mala, your beautiful comments are treasured as is your wonderful friendship. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me and for the honor of your fave - all the more special since I so admire the gifted artistry and wondrous expression of your poetic pen. Work and family has kept very busy these last few months keeping me from sharing poetry with lovely poets like you, my sweet friend.. but I just posted a new poem today :) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Valsa George

Date: 4/21/2022 5:22:00 AM

A scene of revelry and romance beautifully coupled ! Lovely haiku, Susan ! I visualize a beautiful campfire before me . !

Susan Ashley
Date: 4/30/2022 8:56:00 AM

Dearest Valsa, thank you for your gracious visit and heartwarming comments. Lucky are those whose romance burns with an unquenchable flame. Warmest wishes, my inspiring friend.. ~Susan

Jcb Brul

Date: 3/24/2022 6:55:00 PM

This is amazing! I could see two souls infront of a camp fire...your head in his chest makes you hear his heartbeats as you build your dreams...that dream fuels the fire. Splendid. A FAV FOR ME.

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/25/2022 7:01:00 PM

Dear JCB, I am elated by your response to my poem. Thank you for sharing in the emotions of the piece with me. There is so much beauty to be cherished in romantic love. I relish your thoughts and I hold the honor of your fav in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes, my friend .. ~Susan

Anil Deo

Date: 1/28/2022 7:51:00 AM

wonderful, great to see and learn about hiku/senryu. shalom shalom Susan

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/11/2022 6:39:00 PM

Dear Anil, your gracious visit is truly appreciated as is your wonderful comment. Thank you for your kindness, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paghunda Zahid

Date: 1/13/2022 4:15:00 AM

How sweet and how romantic Susan. Loved it... Your pen always leave us in awe... Blessings

Susan Ashley
Date: 3/11/2022 6:37:00 PM

Dear Paghunda, thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts with me. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this poem, my friend, especially since your golden pen never fails to inspire me as well. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 12/24/2021 8:45:00 PM

Oh how romantic Susan. I can hear the rhythmic drums. Congratulations on your fabulous win. Have a joyous Christmas my friend. Blessings xxoo

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/28/2021 8:12:00 AM

Dearest Connie, your presence inspires happiness and your wonderful words are elevating. Your heart's imagination dances to the romantic rhythmic drums beautifully. Thank you, my sweet friend, for your lovely congrats. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, Connie. Warmest wishes to you and yours for the new year to be filled with light, love and inspiration.. ~Susan

Gary Radice

Date: 12/19/2021 2:22:00 PM

Multi layered and so beautifully constructed. A great read. Cheers - Gary

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/19/2021 4:24:00 PM

Dear Gary, thank you for your amazing feedback. I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed this poem, your warm words inspire, my friend. Warmest wishes and happy holidays to you and yours.. ~Susan

Brian Sambourne

Date: 12/18/2021 3:56:00 PM

Greetings Susan. Whether you pen a long piece or a few short lines, I am often astounded by your poetic force. Here again, such startling imagery. Congratulations on another original, thoughtful posting. Be well. Brian

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/19/2021 4:22:00 PM

Dear Brian, your beautiful comments are so very encouraging. I am humbled and honored by your generous response and kind congrats. Thank you, my friend, for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes and happy holidays to you and yours.. ~Susan

John Watt

Date: 12/2/2021 6:18:00 PM

Wow, dear PS-PS, in just a closet of space you have crafted an emotional mansion of poetic depth in this gem of yours... overlaying the themes of music, dancing, dreams, and romance with the primal passion of fire and percussion in just 15 words. I love your metaphor of drums representing his heartbeat. I marvel at your succinct skill and your pithy perfection. Congrats for your win, poetry sis! Warmly ~ John

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 7:30:00 PM

Oh my amazing PS-PB, I swoon over the metaphorical beauty and rich alliterative allure of your breathtaking comments. I am both honored and humbled by the depth and breadth of your emotional intelligence and artistic awareness. Your rich, textured and truly thoughtful comments never fail to leave me dazed in amazement. You are an inspiration, John, you are an uplifting force of Nature and you are a most cherished friend. I relish the expressive exuberance and vivid vitality of your warm words and heartfelt congrats. Thank you, my dear, wonderful poetry bro. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 12/2/2021 10:41:00 AM

Congratulations on your win. "Wonderful" Few words with much said. Have a great/blessed day writing away......................

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:59:00 PM

Dear Paula, thank you so much for your wonderful visit and heartwarming congrats! It's a pleasure to see you, my sweet friend:) Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 12/2/2021 1:47:00 AM

This is excellent, Susan...and the setting is captivatingly romantic. With head on chest the heartbeats resonate. ~ Congratulations on your fine win, my friend. Warm regards & Hugs // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:57:00 PM

Thank you dear Paul. It is such a pleasure to share the podium with you. Seems like we both haven't had a lot of free time for PS in recent months, which makes these contest results all the more special. Thank you for your beautiful feedback and for your heartwarming congrats. Your friendship fills me with gratitude. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Beata Agustin

Date: 12/1/2021 7:40:00 PM

Wow! Congrats! Thanks for sharing this... God bless you.

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:49:00 PM

Thank you, Beata, for your heartwarming congrats. Your visit is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/1/2021 3:35:00 PM

absolutely love this!!! You chose just one but it is SOLID. Big congrats

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:51:00 PM

Thank you, Andrea! Your wonderful words are so very uplifting, as are your heartwarming congrats. I'm so pleased you love this, that means so much to me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Constance La France

Date: 12/1/2021 2:31:00 PM

Susan, lovely and congratulations on your win in William's Hiku contest ~ love and serenity _Constance

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:46:00 PM

Thank you, Constance, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming congrats. Your visit is appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jan Allison

Date: 12/1/2021 12:41:00 PM

I really adored this poem Susan, many congratulations on your win, hugs jan xx

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/4/2021 5:46:00 PM

Thank you, Jan. I relish your return visit and heartfelt congrats. Your precious words mean so much. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan

Hilo Poet

Date: 12/1/2021 10:58:00 AM

Exquisite figures of speech that intensely magnify beautifully, Susan. Truly a remarkable endeavor my friend! My compliments on your placement in the Hiku contest, Aloha!

Susan Ashley
Date: 12/1/2021 5:36:00 PM

Dear William, thank you for the honor of my poem’s placement in your contest. I’m delighted to be amongst the talented poets on your list. Your sponsorship is most appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 11/30/2021 7:50:00 AM

How lovely! Ecstatic, dearest Susan! Blessings.

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/30/2021 9:02:00 PM

Dear Demetrios, I am elated by your visit. It is so wonderful to know you are feeling better, my friend. Thank you for your heartwarming words, they are treasured. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Robert Lindley

Date: 11/29/2021 8:29:00 PM

Brief yet powerful in its imagery and thought provoking depths my dear friend. What would this dark and dreary world be without love and the joy it gifts we mortals? A fav, a true beauty too. God bless...

Susan Ashley
Date: 11/30/2021 9:11:00 PM

Indeed, my dear friend, love and joy are gifts without which this world would truly be dismal. Thank you, Robert, your insightful comments are so very uplifting and I am moved by the honor of your fav. I relish your presence as you have truly been missed. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan