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One Summer Carnival Night

Tilt-a-Whirl pinned us together. Then on the Octopus, the breeze we were twirling through could not cool us down Reaching the top of our last ride on the bright Ferris wheel, I shivered from love’s fever . . . waiting for his kiss. For Sotto Poet's 'Give Me A Shadorma ' Poetry Contest 2 stanzas checked by Howmanysyllables.com, 26 syllables each

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Skat A

Date: 6/2/2015 12:03:00 AM

Andrea, congratulations on your awesome summer time win. ~SKAT~

Jan Allison

Date: 6/1/2015 3:36:00 AM

I love the romantic imagery especially in the ending - oooh what a ride! congrats on your win:-) Hugs jan xx

Debbie Duncan

Date: 2/17/2013 7:22:00 PM

great verse,,,, I remember love at the fair/ carnival. remember Bryan Highland's Gypsies Women, age 15 ? ;}

John Freeman

Date: 8/23/2011 10:08:00 PM

Oh mushy she is. Haaaaaaa! Cool ideal on your present, Andrea... Agape, Moses

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 8/23/2011 8:37:00 PM

ohhhh i like this one i would have placed it higher [but it is coherant...nette seems to like incoherant!] congrads light & love

John Freeman
Date: 8/23/2011 10:23:00 PM

Please, if you are going to get technical, at least spell the words right. "coherent" "incoherent" LOL, Light & Love. Moses

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 8/23/2011 6:03:00 PM

congrats on your win in the contest andrea, I knew this one was a winner!

Kash Poet

Date: 8/23/2011 2:00:00 PM

Congratulations Andrea on your win.Liked the ending very much:)

Jack Horne

Date: 8/23/2011 12:17:00 PM

I haven't been on Soup for a day or so and have just seen all the contest results I've missed! Please excuse this quick message of congratulations - well done on all your wins : ) I'll catch up on reading your latest poems today too!

Caryl Ramsdale

Date: 8/23/2011 11:49:00 AM

Congratulations on your winning placement in nette's Shadorma contest. Caryl Ramsdale

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 8/23/2011 10:10:00 AM

Congratulations on your placement in Nette's "Share A Shadorma" contest Andrea. Love, Carol

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 8/23/2011 9:21:00 AM

Congrats Andrea on your fantastic fifth place win with these elegant lines on carnival my friend.. enjoy ..from Florida..luv..

Dr.Ram Mehta

Date: 8/23/2011 9:13:00 AM

Congratulations on the win in the contest of nette,andrea

David Williams

Date: 8/23/2011 4:05:00 AM

hey Andrea, congrats on your great win David

Afroze Ali

Date: 8/22/2011 11:46:00 PM

I love the ferris wheel specially being on the top and seeing the city from up there. great poem this is.

Cyndi Macmillan

Date: 8/22/2011 11:08:00 PM

Those young days, sigh, when we were all a bit mad, impulsive and romance was like steroids. Love this one, Andrea. I think you made EVERYONE smile with this, anyone who ever loved and lusted, that is. Hope you are doing better (back?) and that you saw a doctor (yes?). Congrats and I'm fricking exhausted. My girl is an insomniac who wakes every 2 hours. I have said I won't say, "I can't wait..." but man, I'm close, I'm so close... Toodles and cheers and high fives, Cyndi.

Judy Ball

Date: 8/19/2011 1:33:00 PM

Nicely done with great imagery. Good entry for the contest. Good luck. God Bless, JB

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 8/18/2011 10:59:00 PM

NOW i get dizzy just reading this-no kidding I look at something twirling and I feel sick so no rides for this gal. Now the waiting for the kiss would be alright ha ha. love phyl

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 8/18/2011 12:53:00 AM

another wonderful poem,, ANdrea, good luck... soup mail..,..LINDA

Carolyn Devonshire

Date: 8/17/2011 11:53:00 PM

Dev or Devon are really my nicknames, Andrea. I just shortened it so the syllables fit. Love, Carolyn

Russell Sivey

Date: 8/17/2011 6:20:00 PM

Aww, this is such a sweet poem, reminding me of my youth when I was a young teenager wanting to catch that elusive kiss...something so rare but could be acquired through those few means, such as a Ferris Wheel! Sounds like such a fun day! What a great description, hopefully, reading this poem, that the young man or woman catches that ever elusive kiss!! Thanks for the awesome write...I really enjoyed it!!

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 8/17/2011 6:01:00 PM

this is a great entry for the contest andrea and should do well, I love the line "the breeze we were twirling through" :-)

Gwendolen Song

Date: 8/17/2011 5:23:00 PM

Nice romantic angle on this Shadorma, Andrea. My first write was romantic and then I changed it to a different theme. This is sizzlin' hot. Gwendolen

Sara Kendrick

Date: 8/17/2011 3:20:00 PM

Reads like a winner to me...Enjoyed..Very romantic..I don't remember the movie about the elephant..I probably did not see it...Don't go to movies very much anymore..Purchase one occasionally..Thanks for stopping by,reading and commenting on my work about the the big bam..Sara

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 8/17/2011 2:39:00 PM

and am still shivering from love's fever waiting for that special kiss Andrea.. great line and entry for the contest.. super charged with emotion and luv those rides myself.. I can't get Ron to go on them any more.. good luck in the contest..my friend..luv..

Wole Francis

Date: 8/17/2011 2:10:00 PM

nice write up.