My Story Condensed

My life hasn't been easy I've experienced much pain. As a young child, I had a some- what of a normal childhood. I didn't have many issues, I came from a two-parent home. I knew I was loved, but they weren't perfect. They had their own issues, in hindsight, they were broken too. But they still showed me love. I heard about God as a child and went to church but I didn't really know him. I knew of him. My world crumbled and shattered into many pieces, when a family member that was supposed to love me violated me. It caused me to question my birth and my self-worth. I was a young child when it happened. My perception of who I was (a normal and somewhat shy child). Came crashing down instantly. Many good memories had vanished with the bad. Forgetting was like a defense mechanism, to this day my memory isn't that good. Because I experienced much trauma my "mind/brain" protected me. I wanted to leave this world on many occasions. I didn't see the value of my existence. I thought I was alone in this big world due to bad things that occurred in my life. As time went on and as I grew into a preteen, teen, and so on and so forth. I questioned if God was real too. I wondered how he could be real when I lived in Hell on earth. So I pushed his existence way back into the corridors of my mind. Moving forward I’m a broken adult that desperately needs healing. I found solace in a bottle (read my poem “ A Constant Friend”). I struggled with my “old friend” constantly. I turned to him because I could become a different person and be numb to pain. But when “ my friend’s” affect wore off I was still broken, sick, and needed healing. So I did what any sick and broken person would do, I repeated the cycle all over again. Through the years folk told me about God and his son Jesus. I started to believe, and eventually, I did believe. Once I believed in God I accepted his love and it was a love that I never experienced before. I wish I could say that my change happened overnight. But it didn’t. I envied people that had a radical “come to Jesus” change. I continued to struggle with my vice(my liquid friend). Today I’m in a new place I gave my heart to God. I am a new creation in Christ. The old person was nailed to the cross. And I’m walking with purpose because of what Christ did on the cross. I let Gal; 2:20 govern my life each new day. Because of his shed blood I was able to turn a new page.