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Letter to Santa

Author's note: This piece, dear reader, is my idea of a possible 3rd grade writing assignment around this time of year. Dear Santa, What I'd really like for Christmas is a effalump, Or a camel with a funny hump, Or a hippopocerus that I could teach to jump, Or a puppy dog will do for Christmas. Next, please disappear my baby brother, Ben, So I can be the only child again. I won't have to share my toys with him, and then, All the presents will be mine at Christmas. And then I'd like for you to bring my daddy back, 'cause we need him here more than in Iraq, So Mommy will stop sleeping with my Uncle Jack. That's the last thing on my list for Christmas. Just in case that Mrs. Santa's on the sleigh with you, Our chimney's big enough, she can come down, too. And I promise I won't tell her what I saw you do Beneath the mistletoe with Mom last Christmas. I'll leave you milk and cookies like I'm s'posed to do, They'll be gluten-free, so they're good for you, And a fifth of Scotch, if you will be a good boy, too, And bring me everything I want for Christmas. Thank you and Merry Christmas. Yours truly, Johnny Dorflemeyer Age 8

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Bill Baker

Date: 12/13/2023 9:56:00 PM

That kid is too aware of what's going on, Jim. A fun light poem to read. I like it! Have a great week, my friend. Bill

Jim Slaughter
Date: 12/14/2023 10:41:00 AM

Bill, many thanks.

Jerry Brotherton

Date: 12/13/2023 2:59:00 PM

Too funny, my friend. At least they spelled Christmas correctly. I have 5 teachers in my family. My daughter teaches kindergarten, and she has so many stories to tell. Merry Christmas to you Jim.

Jim Slaughter
Date: 12/14/2023 10:41:00 AM

Thanks, Jerry. And, yes, I seem to recall that spelling in the 3rd grade was a kind of hit-or-miss thing.

Deb M

Date: 12/12/2023 3:05:00 PM

Jim such a funny , fun ,light hearted write….just lovely….Debx

Jim Slaughter
Date: 12/13/2023 10:43:00 AM

Thanks, Deb...and Merry Christmas to you.

Ilene Bauer

Date: 12/12/2023 12:35:00 PM

this is absolutely delightful, jim! hilarious and such a pleasure to read...

Jim Slaughter
Date: 12/12/2023 1:48:00 PM

Thank you, Ilene.

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 12/12/2023 11:32:00 AM

Hello Jim, Wow! this child has a huge Christmas list. the child does not want a baby brother. He is telling Santa about his mother, this made me laugh. It will be my fav. Merry Cristmas to you, /Darlene/

Darlene De Beaulieu
Date: 12/13/2023 4:48:00 PM

Hello Jim, Merry Christmas to you. Enjoy your evening my my friend./Darlene/

Jim Slaughter
Date: 12/12/2023 1:47:00 PM

Many thanks, Darlene, and Merry Christmas to you, too.