Knowing

IF THERE IS ONE THAT I KNOW IS THAT I HAVE SEEN A LOT. I HAVE FOUGHT A FIGHT AND STILL HAVE MANY MORE TO GO. MOTHER DID ALL SHE COULD DO EVEN AT A TIME WHEN I DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT. DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT WAS A HOLE SHE TRIED TO MEND. BUT IT COULDN'T BE MATCHED TO WHAT SHE WAS TRYING TO DO. I KEPT SEEKING, SEARCHING, DIGGING AND LOOKING AROUND. BUT I COULD FIND NOTHING BUT I DIDN'T GIVE UP. GRANDMA TRIED TO POUR HER WISDOM INTO ME BUT I REJECTED IT WITH ANGER AND FRUSTRATION. KEPT LOOKING OUT THE CORNER OF MY EYE SEEING WHO I WAS DOING WHAT TO ME. THE PARANOIA LURKS AROUND IN MY SPIRIT KEEPS ME HYPED UP. I SHUTDOWN FROM LETTING EVERYONE LOVE ME BECAUSE OF THE FEAR OF BEING HURT. THE FEAR OF LETTING SOMEONE GET CLOSE TO ME AND BEING DISAPPOINTED. I CRIED FOR MY FATHER'S LOVE BUT GOT NO RESPONSE. KNOWING ALL THIS I STILL TRY TO KEEP A MINIMUM. TH