I'D Rather Freeze!

HER: I'm on this blind date. HIM: (Baby, it's cold outside). HER: This date AIN'T so great! HIM: (Baby, it's cold outside). HER: I'd rather be home... and watch paint dry! It takes me five hours to get ready! My Dior dress looks sexy and chic! This half-wit is dressed in a teddy - my best friend set me up with a freak! HER: We sit down to eat. HIM: (Baby, you look so fine). HER: His breath smells like feet! HIM: (Wishing that you were mine). HER: If I pass some gas - will this jerk leave? His manners and looks are atrocious - and broccoli is caught in his tooth! I'm sorry if I sound precocious: but he makes a wild warthog seem couth! HER: I've got to get home. HIM: (Baby, it's cold out there). HER: (thinking) You short, KNOCK-KNEED gnome! HIM: (Oh, the scent of your hair...). HER: I really do think... this night is done! You may be a nice beast for someone? But I'm not the Shrek-ess whom you seek. My "best friend" will surely adore you - and entertain you into next week! HER & HIM: Baby, it's cold outside! Sung to the tune of: Baby, it's cold outside!