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Drowning in The Sky

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Below is the poem entitled Drowning in The Sky which was written by poet Conor Jordan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Drowning in The Sky

                 - Cutting The Rest of The Frayed Lines Slack With Pointed Rust -
              - They Fell and Tangled Into Themselves, Isolating Him From Entirety -
He Pushes a Little Wooden Craft into Water Rippled 
With The Night, and Climbs Into The Unsturdiness.

                        - The Ripples Take Him From The Shore -

Subtle Pieces of Jagged Rock mould themselves Into
Shadows, Underneath the Crescent of The Horizon.

                         - Voyage to the Dark -

He Can't Stop Thinking, He Can Never Stop Thinking.
Even in The Middle of Nothing He is Laced with Thought.

                         - Weight of Life -

It Burdens Him With The Tremendous Knowledge That
He is Forced To Live, Misunderstood By Love. 

                         - Camels Spine Snaps -

Purposely Damning His Own Vessel By Stabbing The
Floor Repeatedly in Large Thought out Punctures.

                         - Influx of Grief -

Drowning, Drowning, Drowning in His Little Wooden Boat
All Strewn Through With The Holes of His Ill Intent.

                         - Drinking Salt -

Struggling and Fighting The Liquid Soaks into His Lungs,
His Hands Start to Move Slower, His Legs Give Way.

                         - Ceaseless Struggle -

His Body Shuffles and Slumps Up Against The Stern,
His Vision Focuses on the Light Silking Through the Air.

                         - Radiating The Sink Holes -

When The Sea Had Finished Rippling, The Stars Were No
Longer Distorted and Cast Themselves upon it's Surface.

                         - Replicating Them Perfectly -

His Little Wooden Corpse Carrying Boat, all Strewn Through 
With Holes, But Surrounded By Light, It'll Carry Him Forever...

                         - ...Sailing Between Two Skies -

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  1. Date: 4/24/2011 8:57:00 AM
    Yeow! An interesting form used for this write, which makes the story more intense, Conor. Projects a sad feeling at the end, but throughout is championed by its masterful imagery. Greatly enjoyed, thanks so much for sharing! Happy Easter to you and yours!! Mikki

  1. Date: 3/9/2011 10:35:00 AM
    Congratulations on your poetry making it through round one of PoetrySoup's contest. The best to you in the finals Conor. Love Carol

  1. Date: 12/7/2010 8:50:00 AM
    Congratulations Conor on your excellent poetry being featured this week on PoetrySoup. May you have many more features. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 10/28/2010 4:29:00 PM
    enjoyed reading your work... welcome to the soup of creativity, drama, faith and fun

  1. Date: 10/28/2010 12:07:00 PM
    I am just starting to read today and I must say there are some exceptional poems posted. Glad yours was included in my reading today Conor. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 10/28/2010 1:28:00 AM
    Sailing between two skies indeed. The mind never stops thinking,and the holes seemed to be everywhere,sinking ,drowning. .thats where we meet light. .great great thoughts penned.

  1. Date: 10/27/2010 7:45:00 PM
    loved the imagery. very vivid. curious....are of death? (sorry, touchy subject.)