There is a particular kind of hunger
That learns to live without being fed.
And perhaps the cruelest mercy:
Even the compass bends towards the star it cannot touch,
And mine has never learned another north.
So I let the longing stay,
Knowing I was never meant to find my way out
From wandering beneath the same unreachable sky,
For I feared
That home, once found would wrench the way to you.
Perhaps I'll Know Your Love
Perhaps the light of day comes with a golden ray,
to push the heavy shadows to the side...
Just let me come on home.
Let me finally unload this pain.
Perhaps you'll look past these scars...
and the tears I try so hard to hide,
emotions of a weary soul
hurting deep inside.
Perhaps a life will have love,
not pretending to be...
Every word rolls off the tongue
to carry me, or pull me to your side.
Perhaps someday these pieces will mend,
with reaching arms that can hold
this fragile love that we know.
Perhaps someday my smile no longer fades,
or falls exhausted by my side...
screaming I'm alright.
Perhaps I write these words of love,
praying that you will finally see
the love I've held for you...
Perhaps, someday, I won't pretend to be someone you knew.
Perhaps, someday, you'll love me too.
Debra
He said he loved me,
yet still left me.
If he loved me, how could he hurt me?
Forever, I will love him
the way he could never love me.
They were never mine,
yet somehow, they felt like home.
They became mine in the quiet of my heart,
only to leave me alone.
I broke beneath the weight of longing
for a soul I was never meant to hold.
Yet in every prayer, their presence lingered,
a warmth that slowly turned cold.
They saw me, yet their eyes
held only the silence of goodbye.
So I searched for them in every sign,
in every passing shadow, every sky.
But they faded into a world
where even memories could not reach.
Someone who became mine for a moment,
but was never mine to keep.
And somewhere between their memory
and the silence they left behind,
I forgot where they ended
and where I began.
They tell you when you're young
that you don't know what love is.
Maybe they're right
because it took heartbreak
for me to finally understand what I need.
I don't just want to be loved.
I want to be yearned for.
I want someone who chooses me
without needing a list of possibilities
waiting behind my back.
I don't want to feel like an option
because someone can't find enough
in one person to be satisfied.
Because when I love,
I don't leave pieces of myself
in other people's hands.
I give one person my whole heart.
I want that same devotion returned.
I want someone who misses me
when I'm gone,
who feels my absence,
who doesn't constantly wonder
if something better is waiting somewhere else.
I've spent too much of my life
feeling like I was almost enough.
Almost chosen.
Almost worth staying for.
And I'm done with almost.
I don't need someone
who can tolerate my depth.
I need someone who craves it.
Someone who looks at me and thinks,
“I don't need anyone else.
I found what I was looking for.”
Because I don't want to compete
for a place in someone's heart.
I want to be chosen so completely
that there is nowhere else I'd rather be.
Hanging 'round down Trenchtown
Bob and me we had a yearning
he only had to signify 'Rastafari'
soon Bob and me we were a'burning
jamming the live-long day
reggae music was a'fire
wasting the night away
as the moon looked on
playing on the waves
Bob and me we were free
he and me we were a'flying
while the world was turning
no woman no time for crying
no disturb Bob and me
it's only the midnight 'erb we're burning
We sit together,
all legs and breath and sweat.
Our love is like honey, raw and sticky sweet,
open wound blood from a scraped knee.
I take it pumped into my veins,
pulsing through my arteries,
bite my lip just to taste it.
Sink our teeth into each other like we're tender meat;
juices dripping down my chin.
The blurry light of a heat wave felt
in the aching wind moving waves, hair, and heart.
The humming fan overhead mixes
with the ringing in my ears,
and I know forever cannot stay,
but in the silence, she is here.
The days pass,the years erase
It's hard to delete the heart's blaze
The emotions are yet,fresh and cool
To feel,to love...was I a fool?
The waiting now is so long
I do not know,how to get along...
We are tossed by every uneven street
And I try not to recall the ocean
In the heart of this great city-
The cobblestone! The church! The mansions! The soviet blocks!
Wordless stanzas.
Watch the ink
Scratch at half-utterances
World churning
In Grandma's kitchen
1998-
Memory please
Catch the hot wind.
I will be airborne
One day fly back to you
and patience
My virtue dies.
Billboards scream
But I have
Just
Like love, don't want.
My keyboard, the typewriter.
My hand quills
My two-lung stone slabs
Mindless etchings.
Faint anger
And the distant sound of you-
Singing?
Have you ever heard my voice?
It's not mine, but of my soul,
Calling you, my solstice-
Come silently and console.
The day forever remains incomplete
Unless the light of sun illuminates it;
So too my soul is adrift,
Until the radiance of yours embraces it.
i feel a deep fear within me,
logical yet irrational
stuck between can and cannot
limited by dimensional thought
theorizing the distance from if to is
every moment measured
by a metric of failure and success
lost in a reality that has not yet
or may not arrive
I'm trapped inside
This hourglass
I see you watch me
As you pass
You put me here
So here I stand
Sink or swim
In deathly sand
Time means nothing
I turn to stone
Forgotten flesh
And soulless bone
This pointless wait
You'll never free
Me from this prison
This glass and me
Can’t you see the tears in my eyes,
my dear?
Can’t you see me crying for your love,
my dear?
Tears come into your eyes for me,
I accept.
You care for me,
you look after me,
you worry when I fall ill.
But you adore him.
I am like the food on the menu,
he is like the dessert.
You always keep me on the menu.
There can’t be a menu without food,
but why can’t I be your dessert?
Twenty years of our togetherness,
I am blessed to be with you.
Why do you choose some days
to be alone with him?
Am I the familiar one,
and he the chosen one?
Am I the thorn,
and he the rose?
I can’t be bitter with you,
I love your presence.
Today may not answer everything,
but tonight reminds me
to choose peace and love.
I breathe you in
Deep within my soul,
I breathe you in
Until I loose control,
I breathe you in
You make me whole.
When i was a little girl, i wished to be a princess that has a king come save her. But does that king ever come? It seems as kings only come in fairytales and never in real life.
Theres all these new definitions that ive learned about like "guy pretty" or ratings, apparently each guy looks for the same features in a girl like light eyes, straight teeth, perfect skin, along with the ratings of how they rate a girl being ugly or beautiful.
I have never been that girl that guys choose over any other female. I've never been given that unconditional love that everyone talks about. The kind where the guy falls head over heels for a girl and shows that he loves her. Ive never had that and I want that. Its making me question so many things. Like, Am I Unlovable? Am i just pretty enough to look at but not date? Only good when you need me but when you don't i dont matter?
I feel unlovable, I want to be loved but I dont think thats meant for me.
- E.B
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