you hurt me, yet I remain calm
you try to kill me, yet I remain calm
but why does it hurt
when I need to say goodbye?
recovery is the winner
yet it feels in disguise
because I just can’t believe
I deserve to survive
Laying in the hospital bed taking in
stares and remarks, reminding
me of the inconvenience of my 3am
breakdown. The pills
still swirling around in my stomach. It's
funny how when I'm
down someone's determined to still
drive me into the ground. For that very
reason, being taken away to go stay
behind those four walls in that hospital
room, walking around in grippy socks,
and eating
crappy food on a tray, felt safe. I was
safe from peoples abuse
resulting from the inability to love.
-from my book "The Sylvia Plath in me"
I have this strong hatred in my heart
for this one thing and its every part.
I hate how it thinks and how it acts,
I hate it in the present and in the past.
I'm sure I'll hate it in the future too,
It seems there's nothing I can do.
I've tried being accepting and I've tried being kind,
I've tried to run and I've tried to hide.
But here I am still stuck inside,
the dark depths of my own mind.
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