Hoarder Poems

Hoarder’s Paradise

My mind has become a hoarder’s paradise
As I have gotten older, fat and lazy.
All that I gather collects
Along the halls, across table tops
On every available surface.
Eventually only narrow pathways remain
Through the labyrinth,
Pathways I traverse daily
As I shuffle back and forth
On my habitual ways.
This is the anatomy of a mind calcifying,
Layers and layers of thought and

Helens Hugger Bugger Ways

Helen’s hugger-mugger ways caused a hullabaloo
Her hoarder house hardly had room for two
Let’s trick her outside, someone suggested.
But Helen firmly and fiercely protested.
She’s got to go out sometimes said the throng.
But everything was brought in, so the bystanders were wrong.

Little Hoarder Me

I deep-sixed toys, games, a bed and a picture book
Our font porch now has a much more organized look
In May I kept hundreds of junk I did not need
Crayolas, pinwheels, and blue petunia seed

Weirdly thinking I might someday need this or that
bent clarinet, torn photo and stuffed bat
knife broken in two, huge bag of red

hoarder mantra

What to keep and what to throw?
What if you truly do not know?
Bring it all outside to the day light
You might be spurred to action by the sight
Then again, you might me more like me
Wanting to keep all that you can now see

hoarder

someone called 911
a neighbor or someone just walking by
they told the operator
the person who lived there 
had not been seen in days

someone else called
telling the operator 
a foul scent was emitting
from the house across the street
when an officer got there
from what he smelled
the situation looked bleak

when he tried to get in
the front door wouldn't open
looking

hoarder house of Tag and Jer

Gum wrapper here, discarded box there
Acute cleanliness not in the air
Her name was Tag, his name was Jer
They were the perfect hoarder pair

Floating in the crispy cold winter air
Was the stench of a deceased grizzly bear
Visitors could not make it to the stair
Climbing over a twin bed, sofa and broken chair

To others their abode was

Jiggety Jig

Jiggety jig, my ex. is a pig.
It's much worse since I've been gone..
One could clean every day.
He won't put things away and he even
throws trash on his lawn..
When I go there I shutter at his ability to clutter
and wonder what could he pawn..
He's not yet a hoarder but there's
no sense of order.
I just might throw

she might be a hoarder

She might be a hoarder we guessed that day.
When she came gliding by what else could we say?
Attached to her somewhere was a plethora of stuff.
Books, gifts, purses, pouches, satchels all rough.

Her elaborate vest had been constructed from ties.
There must be a seamstress in her life said McDyes.
I bet her house is horrible, said his

To Be

To be

I’m so unsure my name should be ambiguous 
I reach for things I can’t see with my oculus 
I try to grow into who I am
Or who I was? 
Or who I’m supposed to be? 
I’m not sure if I’m being who I am or growing into who I want to be
I see my

Promoting My Odd

Afraid that a slip
May render me maimed
I’ll likely lose grip
Of all that I’ve tamed

I’ll wind up behind 
With weights on my shoes 
Handicapped and blind
There’s too much to lose 

I’ll never get back
To being afloat
Once knocked off the track
I’m doomed to demote

I haven’t the strength
When I’m overwhelmed 
To go to the length
And be homeward bound

I

Being a Dragon Hoarder

Being a dragon hoarder is now work at all
I collect tidbits of aluminum foil, rolled and tall
I have boxes and bags full of things from the mall
Items also I have found in a bathroom stall

Being a dragon hoarder is what I do best.
I bring stuff home, and plunk it down in my nest.
I collect wings,

Lollabelle and Her Hoarder House

Lollabelle lived in a hoarder house
No one knew
She kept her secret for forty six years

Her six children had stopped visiting her
about fifty years ago
She was not the best mother
Maybe the worst one

They ran from her in their teenage years
Only one returned a few years ago
She recognized her through the peephole
But she did not let her

Hoarder

Hoarder holds her hostage, heaps heavy history hysterics.
Her husband, horrific. Harried hugs humiliate. Hops, hits
hags — harmed honeymoon. Hiss harkened hellbound Harris.
Hysterical Helena hinted hate, harbinger hackles heightened, hot.
How? Hagfish homicide? Herbs? Homer helps Helena hack! 

12/18/2020
Alliteration Contest
Sponsor: Eve Roper

Dining Room of a Hoarder

Our pristine, prissy, upscale dining room was almost never used.
And now it can’t be used for eating, for it is slightly junked and abused.
Dining room table is so long, it started to almost immediately collect....
So many items, that who has inclination or time to carefully inspect?

At first it was just an art project, or a

Dorothy Is Notoriously Late

Dorothy is notoriously late
Because she wants to make an entrance?
Heck no.

Relatives lie to her and tell her things start an hour earlier
So she will be almost on time, and she still gets there late.
Smirking inside to herself.

Dorothy is not trying for attention
She does not like people even if they are related
Maybe especially if they are

• Short Hoarder Poems
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