Get Your Premium Membership

Pathos

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.


Inspiration behind the poem was from taking my elderly mother for a walk in the grounds of her care home and having to have the alarm deactivated ... yet there is no visible alarm on the main entrance doors

 

Original title was PLAYGROUND MEMORIES 

Nobody observes her leaving her room wearing just her nightdress and red felt carpet slippers Shuffling silently she slips out of the front door onto the street Rivulets of rain start to soak her to the skin Her straggly hair hangs down limply It becomes so matted and twisted Soon it looks like writhing snakes are alive on her skull Her once pretty face is now lined and wrinkled Rain drips off the crevices and onto her sagging breasts Wandering off into the night she begins searching Walking the empty streets with her arms outstretched Searching, searching, desperately searching Eventually she reaches the children’s playground Sitting on a swing she rocks backwards and forwards The rhythmic movement seems to calm her down Tears form in her eyes and mingle with the raindrops Strong arms hold her and she is powerless to resist She hears voices telling her she must return home ‘We knew you’d eventually find your way here Maisie It’s time to return to the sanatorium … In future we will make sure the door alarm is activated’ 10~19~15 N/A in previous contest Submitted to screwed XI Sponsored by Rob Carmack Sponsor Nathan D Title amended and submitted to ''P'' Contest, New or Old Poetry Contest sponsored by Constance La France

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Date: 10/5/2021 8:16:00 AM
Jan, congratulations on your win in my "P" contest with this wonderful poem, so well done, it happens often in care homes I think ~ love and serenity _Constance
Login to Reply
Date: 10/4/2021 1:42:00 PM
Jan, congratulations on your win. This has deeply touched my heart my friend. We are once, and forever, little kids at heart always seeking out that place where children play. Pathos perfectly penned! So nicely done. Hugs!
Login to Reply
Date: 9/29/2021 6:40:00 AM
Hi Jan, Congratulations on your podium 1 placement with a deeply personal ode. A timeless work of artistic integrity. Warmth Howard
Login to Reply
Date: 9/28/2021 5:35:00 PM
I'm glad to see you at last get a win with this one, my friend. BIG congrats to you.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 4:59:00 PM
This is pretty good, Jan. Real pathos in it.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 4:19:00 PM
Congratulations. So poignant. It is sad to think that some of the care facilities for the aged are not so well organized that some things slip.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 2:54:00 PM
Oh, Jan - that had me in tears. It's so sad what happens to us. Bless your sweet mom. Congratulations on your well-deserved win! And I hope they fixed the alarm!
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 1:51:00 PM
Congratulations on your win. What a beautiful yet sad story/write. It is hard to get old. I have seen so much of it. So sad. Have a blessed day with your win...............
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 1:34:00 PM
Congratulations, Jan. This poem is truly touching. I can, with sadness, imagine happening what you have described - I could feel the pathos. Love and best wishes ~ Mala
Login to Reply
Date: 9/27/2021 1:31:00 PM
Jan, congratulations on your top win; you deserved it with your well-written poem; I hope you and your mother are doing well; my prayers are with you.
Login to Reply
Date: 3/8/2016 7:58:00 AM
Hi Jan. Congrats on your sweet WIN in the contest!!! ;-)
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 3/8/2016 1:24:00 PM
Many thanks Teddy:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 3/7/2016 12:09:00 PM
Awesome win. Pd
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 3/8/2016 1:24:00 PM
Many thanks Linda:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 3/1/2016 10:43:00 PM
Jan, this touched me in a place I had thought was closed off. Thanks. Congratulations on your win. Well done.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 3/2/2016 3:53:00 AM
Mum is a care home and many of the residents either have dementia or simply do not leave their rooms - I just imagined someone leaving their room and where they would go to to remember happier times:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 3/1/2016 6:26:00 PM
Congrats on your win Jan
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 3/2/2016 3:51:00 AM
Thanks so much Joseph:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 11/17/2015 4:05:00 PM
A brilliant write my sweet,sweet Jan. An absolute fav for me. My goodness do I ever miss you. Love always, Armand.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 11/17/2015 4:10:00 PM
Oh Armand how wonderful to see you back here my friend :-) you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers:-) love and hugs as ever:-) Jan xx
Date: 11/13/2015 1:20:00 PM
This took me right back to when my mom was a resident for a brief time before her death in 2012. She'd ask where my sisters and their families were, etc. I cherish every moment with her. You touched my heart with this and congrats. A really winning creation!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 11/13/2015 1:23:00 PM
Thanks Susan - mum is now in a care home she has memory issues following a fall in 2009 but not dementia - I wrote this after having to get a code to go into the garden but the main door does not have any visible security system but there is a 'beep' when you got through it so there is probably CCTV that I cannot see:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/24/2015 11:44:00 AM
Congratulations. A very sad poem... But very well writen. Until my Great Aunt Cora died at 107... I spent lots of time in the nursing home visiting her... No one else came.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/24/2015 11:51:00 AM
It's heartbreaking Carol mum calls some of the resident' the living dead' on never even leaves her room for meals :-( hugs jan xx
Date: 10/23/2015 2:53:00 AM
Jan congratulations. for POTD
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/23/2015 4:52:00 AM
Thanks Michael - getting POTD for this particular poem is very special to me and it couldn't have come at a better time:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 10/22/2015 10:19:00 PM
I'm so glad to see this poem make it as POTD, dear. It really spoke to my heart. Incidentally, I dreamt about my Mama last night. It was good to see her even though she was still struggling with her illness, at least she was alive and I could spend time with her....if only in my dream. Congrats, sweetie. Love ya.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/23/2015 4:51:00 AM
Aww Eileen I know how much you miss her - am so lucky I still have mine - I get so much inspiration from mum and from observing life in her care home:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 10/22/2015 7:38:00 AM
Hi Jan, a belated congrats on your Poem Of The Day! Such sad imagery of a truth that happens all too often, and you have put it to words so emotionally. Hugs, Sandra
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/22/2015 7:48:00 AM
Thanks Sandra it meant a great deal to be awarded POTD for this particular poem - I don't think it is dark and deep enough for the contest but it is getting so many reads and comments and that is the main thing:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/22/2015 7:19:00 AM
This poem is like no other that I could have imagined. The perspective has an angle that cannot be seen, as in a mystery, envisioned by another's memory. This is gold Jan
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/22/2015 7:25:00 AM
Thanks Judy - I get so much inspiration from visiting mum:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/21/2015 10:38:00 PM
Awesome poem Jan... Enjoyed reading it... Verlena
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/22/2015 2:01:00 AM
thanks so much Verlena:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/21/2015 9:14:00 PM
Great POTD Jan.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/22/2015 2:01:00 AM
Thanks James:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 10/21/2015 4:15:00 PM
Awesome write,Jan,congratulations on poem of the day!!!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/21/2015 6:56:00 PM
it has made my day Eve:-) hugs jan xx
Date: 10/21/2015 3:16:00 PM
Congratulations Jan....well deserved
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/21/2015 6:56:00 PM
Thanks Tim:-) hugs jan xx
12

Book: Shattered Sighs