I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
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They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
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My heart is pure as the driven slush.
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They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
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It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work -- the night watchman.
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Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.
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I'm as pure as the driven slush.
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I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
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Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
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Here's a rule I recommend Never practice two vices at once.
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It's the good girls who keep diaries the bad girls never have the time.
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Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.
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There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.
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If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
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Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
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I thought I told you to wait in the car.
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It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
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