To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
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Some primal termite knocked on wood; and tasted it, and found it good. That is why your Cousin May fell through the parlor floor today.
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Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker.
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
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Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker.
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A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
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Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker.
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A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.
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He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples.
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If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
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Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around
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The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
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Indoors or out, no one relaxes In March, that month of wind and taxes, The wind will presently disappear, The taxes last us all year.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.
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When there are monsters there are miracles.
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If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.
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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
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Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets
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They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.
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I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
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I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else
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The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
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The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.
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I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
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There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for.
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