Milton And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
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Peter Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door--that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh--after that I sorta space out for an hour. I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
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Michael Bolton Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. Samir You know there's nothing wrong with that name. Michael Bolton There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
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Peter Good luck with your layoffs, alright, I hope your firings go really, really well.
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Lawrence: You know what'd I'd do if I had a million dollars? Peter: What's that? Lawrence: Two chicks at the same time, man. Peter: Haha...that's it if you had a million dollars you'd do two chicks at the same time Lawrence: Damn straight, always wanted to do that, I figure if I was rich I could hook that up because chicks dig dudes with money. Peter: Well, not all chicks. Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. Peter:good point
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Bob We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.
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It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
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There was nothing wrong with my name... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass-clown became famous and started winning Grammies.
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Peter When I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
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Samir No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window.
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You see Bob, I'm not lazy. It's that I just don't care.
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I did nothing, absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it would be.
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Peter So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
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Ever since I started working ,every day has been worse than the one before. That means each time you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
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