I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication... Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need. You stand there going, Well, this one is quick acting but this is long lasting...Which is more important, the present or the future?
|
And there's a lot of that stuff with people bringing their kids, kids bringing their parents, people bringing their grandparents - I mean, it's gotten to be really stretched out now. It was never my intention to say, this is the demographics of our audience.
|
Last night's homer was Willie Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
|
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
|
Jerry We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You... complete me.
|
SOAPY You know, feisty women never get boring. JOEL Let me tell you something. Boring women get a bad rap. There's a lot to be said for boring women.
|
It really was written and geared for a very specific audience, but our comedic strength trumps all of that. The subject matter, the dialogue, the tone isn't right for most of America.
|
Panties aren't a mans best friend, but they are next to it.
|
The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century.
|
Jerry I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens.
|
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
|
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
|
Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat.
|
Once in a while you get shown the light in the stangest of places if you look at it right.
|
Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.
|
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash!
|
Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
|
I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME!
|
It's pretty clear now that what looked like it might have been some kind of counterculture is, in reality, just the plain old chaos of undifferentiated weirdness.
|
It's a morbid observation, but if every one on earth just stopped breathing for an hour, the greenhouse effect would no longer be a problem.
|
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.
|
I'm shopping around for something to do that no one will like.
|
They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
|
If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.
|
But after they settle in you've still got to be funny, because for an hour just the fact they get to see you live in a theater is going to wear off if you're not doing well.
|
Every silver lining has a touch of grey.
|
From the way Denny's shaking his head, he's either got an injured shoulder or a gnat in his eye.
|
At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
|
Rod It's a very personal, very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Now are you ready Just checking to make sure you're ready here it is - show me the money. OHHH SHOW ME THE MONEY Doesn't it make you feel good just to say that, Jerry Say it with me one time brother
|
Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end . . .
|