Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he _becomes_ polite.
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Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned, you got it in the eye.
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Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left.
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One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
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The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
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I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want- an adorable pancreas?
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A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
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I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
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I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas
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Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent.
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You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
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The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
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I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
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Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it do...
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If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.
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I feel about airplaines the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
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