First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?
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You want your sister to lose weight, tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey, and you know what, no-one knows what they wanna be when they grow up! you know it takes a little time to find that out. And you, you sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well maybe you should lift some weights or take a karate lesson and the next time he tries it you kick him in the balls!
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Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.
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