A Letter from a Sniper - Maya Kaabour's Blog

I try to swallow in my guilt, but I suddenly seem to spit it out as the radio plays another song that reminds me of you. My flask hasn't parted my hand for the past three hours. Yet, nothing seems to take the pain away. The loneliness I feel within me seems to grow into an ugly monster that embraces me at night as I weep. Mom, I don't miss you at all. As the snowflakes fall upon this rotten earth, your cold heart comes to my mind. Memories of you seem to crawl in like little spiders strangling my brain with their webs. Ever since dad died my brother and I haven’t made things any easier on you. I couldn't take it anymore, that's why I ran away. Damn it mom, you didn't even bother to look for me. The week after that I'd watch you hold my brother as you both watched TV. Yeah mom, I'd climb our back yard's tree just to look through your window and watch your betraying blue eyes close as you fall asleep. I felt useless. So I joined the army, and became a professional sniper. Yeah, people fear me now. The funny thing about it is that I met my brother at camp! You sent him to the army, to protect our country. I hope you enjoyed bragging about it. He's your "picture perfect" son, something I'll never be. In some sick way, I want to thank you mom, you taught me how to love myself, since you never loved me. So hate me now, for not taking the trash out every time you asked me to. Hate me now, for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me for robbing our neighborhood's supermarket just to get you that necklace you wanted on Mothers Day. Finally, hate me for killing my own brother during war. Have no worries, I am leaving the country. I hope I will never cross your mind again. Please, never try to reach me. Mom, don't ever call again. Now that I'm your only son I wouldn't want to hear you say you love me just because you have to.

Your son,

Your sniper.