Last night your ghost passed by me
Riding a bicycle with a basket
And oh, how badly I wanted to be in that basket
Finger lit and pointed
Guiding us to my home
Where I was a little girl
Little hands aligned into a prayer
Asking God to send me an Angel
But instead... he sent me an electric boy called Angel
With a bruised soul, and loose wings
And we tried fixing them
With all different kinds of things!
But the tape kept falling off
Weary of your stubbornness
So we, sewed them with needles and threads instead
Then I tucked you in bed
And I read you a story
The last line said,
"You will never be alone."
But even then, you did not fly.
Remember that time you were
Rolling dollar bills into telescopes
Claiming you could see God
And Nai, from her joy, did a handstand
On the balcony’s ledge
White sneakers reaching the sky
Ready to dominate the clouds
And she fell back
Into a sea of what could have been
And what should have been
That was the morning they reported
Both our broken hearts on the news
And we, didn’t know what to do
So I, held that ladder steady
As you climbed up and serenaded the moon
Please bring her back
It’s too soon to take her away!
It’s too soon.
And no matter how hard I try…
I cannot seem to forget
No one told you to go
Drunk-driving on the roads in my head
Lost, confused and striving,
To crash into something
That could justify your existence.
Now I see you everywhere
In every swing promising kids they can fly
In every colorful thing that breaks and dies
Every dripping faucet is screaming:
"He is still there!"
Every fallen strand of my hair
Becomes the thread to the kite
That drags me to your memory...
You speak to me
Every shooting star, a reminder
I see you standing
In every tunnel at the end of my drink
Hands crossed on your chest
And abandoned like lily pads in the water
In every door slammed shut by the wind
I sense your anger
I see you
I feel you
In every scattered constellation
Dancing next to the speakers in my imagination
The music moving your limbs like the hands of a puppeteer...
And I love you, dear
And I will always miss you, dear
You always danced...
But you could never fly.
Copyright © Maya Kaabour