Apologies First
apologies first
For feeling, for thinking, for
overspending my overextending
"hospitality"
which probably
is an apology
for you *having to be here
*In my kitchen in my bed
your choice feels like Im
forcing you to sit close
to look at me
blankly.
But it's in that mode
When I try I guess any
type of stress, any
missed feeling I
find my self kneeling at
your whim (that I imagine for you).
But
it's a blank stare because
you can tell the moment that
I'm not there.
I look for your potential
dissatisfaction
so that I can be perfectly adaptable
Easy to be with
Etc.
I don't want to
tell you how I really feel.
If something bothers me
I let it sink in
Rather than float to the top
For you to
See
addendum:
constantly enraged against the machine that I believe tells me to be
agreeable, careful, prim, pragmatic, wary,
I do most of the work.
Copyright © Jade James | Year Posted 2015
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