By My Side
It's been three and a half months since you left my side,
I'm still here, and I haven't died,
I still feel the emptiness you left in me.
I'm still deaf and I still can't see.
It hurts so much when I see you with him,
when I think to myself, what could have been?
I want you to know I’m leaving this place,
all because I'm alone, because you wanted space.
I'm sorry I love you and I still don't know why you cried,
I hurt myself with the thought of you, when you're not here, by my side.
I want you here with me, more than you know,
pain I try to hide, the pain you'll never know.
I swear to God, I'm not right in the head.
Too often I think I'd be better off dead.
I'm not trying to be selfish, it'd be better for you too,
if you didn't have to deal with me, and what I put you through.
They said it would get easier. Christ, they were wrong.
You’re still all I think about, all day long.
I'm really not mad at you.
You did what you had to do.
The blame lies on me, for asking too much of you.
All I want out of life is you by my side.
For that alone I live, and for that I’d die.
Now I know what heaven feels like,
and now I know, I'm still alive.
Copyright © Josh Cox | Year Posted 2006
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