I feel a sense of paranoia sinking in,
Without reason, a fear that sinks deeper than the skin.
An anxiety of overwhelming power,
It grows in strength; hour after hour.
Debilitating as a morning after migraine,
The sole difference being that I feel no pain.
This melancholic strife is nothing new to me,
Living under the weight of social dystrophy.
Feeling isolated, feeling lonely, feeling hopeless.
Experiencing emotions of self-apathy and self-loathing.
A pity thought reserved for third world orphans,
Now without merit, has been cast upon mine self.
Desolate and barren,
The future renders bleak.
I've disappeared for years behind a mask of contentment,
Lacking autonomy until acceptance of this internal resentment.
It would be easier to stop. To just end it all,
But I have stayed strong to this point,
For I could never betray my soul.
Copyright © Joel Arfin