Paranoid Betrayal

I feel a sense of paranoia sinking in, Without reason, a fear that sinks deeper than the skin. An anxiety of overwhelming power, It grows in strength; hour after hour. Debilitating as a morning after migraine, The sole difference being that I feel no pain. This melancholic strife is nothing new to me, Living under the weight of social dystrophy. Feeling isolated, feeling lonely, feeling hopeless. Experiencing emotions of self-apathy and self-loathing. A pity thought reserved for third world orphans, Now without merit, has been cast upon mine self. Desolate and barren, The future renders bleak. I've disappeared for years behind a mask of contentment, Lacking autonomy until acceptance of this internal resentment. It would be easier to stop. To just end it all, But I have stayed strong to this point, For I could never betray my soul.