Loss
‘Do not fear’, she told me
as I measured the value of carrying on
with a life with a gap,
with a life on my own.
‘Your pain will diminish’,
was a covenant she made
without a lie in her voice,
but with an ephemeral attempt.
We balanced each other’s pain
for less than a year and a half.
Then a man tempted her away
and a plague sickened my heart.
I have thrust away her love
like she pushed away my being.
Now a chasm lies between us,
which I have dug despite my craving
to cross to the other side,
to throw my arms around her,
to accept the other guy,
their communion and their ardor.
I don’t seek to ruin
the security that she built,
but I wish that she could see
how alone for years I’ve felt.
My pain never diminished,
but its intensity has augmented.
Now I mourn for not one loss,
but a second that I’ve created.
Copyright © Kamila Godzinska | Year Posted 2012
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