Why Me?
4 months
4 months of I love you’s and late-night conversations
Conversations about college and dogs and anything we could think of
Conversations about how many kids we wanted and what we wanted to name them
The kids we would have after we had our beach wedding
The wedding we pretty much had all planned out from my dress to the color theme to the location
I believed in our future the same way people believe in astrology and fortune tellers
I believed it was going to happen
4 months
4 months of you starting fights when I even mentioned another guy's name
The guys you said you didn’t trust but you said you trusted me and that you didn’t mean to start fights
The fights that usually ended with me crying and alone and you going out and making bad decisions
Bad decisions that I forgave every time because of how much I loved you
You were the first boy I said I love you to and actually meant it
The love that I thought you felt too
4 months
That’s how long it took you to realize you wanted her more than you wanted me
The girl you a past with but said was like your family
The girl I never liked but I trusted because I trusted you
The trust that was broken when I got the ‘we have to stop dating’ text
The text I got while sitting in my grandparents' living room trying not to cry while you explained what happened
You said you started seeing her again and that it was complicated and hard to explain
You didn’t even try to explain you just left me on read
Why me?
Why was I the one that got hurt?
A kind of hurt that I had never experienced before and hope to never again
Why was I the one that called my best friend crying saying that we broke up?
The break up that hurt so bad that for 2 months after I cried just thinking about it
You were the first boy I ever truly cried over so congratulations I guess
I have many questions that will forever be unanswered but if I could pick one to get an answer to it would be this:
There are 8 billion other people on this planet that you could have hurt
Why me?
Copyright © Amelia Engquist | Year Posted 2024
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