You Think You Know Me
You think you know me?
You have no idea.
Some days I don’t leave my room,
Trapped by sadness.
In pitch black darkness.
Wondering when the pain will cease,
Depression plagues me,
Takes over my body,
Takes over my mind,
Am I going crazy?
Or am I already there?
My illness begins to define who I am.
Sleep is the only way I can escape from my reality.
So I sleep.
Sleeping again and again.
Running away,
So far away,
That I’ve lost myself.
Unable to be the person I once was.
You think you know me?
You have no idea.
You think I’m happy.
You think I’m brave.
You think I’m confident.
You don’t know my heart bleeds sadness.
It aches for comfort.
My mind aches for clarity.
My body yearns for strength
Just to make it through the day,
I must give,
All I can give.
Everything hurts.
The world is crashing,
Down on my shoulders.
I barely feel alive,
Like I’m in a coma.
On life support,
Secretly wanting for someone to pull the plug.
I need someone to take me away.
Save me from myself.
I’m my worst enemy.
You think you know me?
You have no idea.
I smile around you.
I laugh around you.
The one who lights up the room,
The life of the party,
The one with the best sense of humor,
To you I am all of these things.
Inside I am none of them.
Inside manic depression eats away my heart,
Like a deadly virus.
It creeps into my soul.
Destroys me in every single way.
Forces me to pretend,
Pretend to be alive.
Because inside it makes me,
As dead as a corps.
You think you know me?
Well now you do.
Copyright © Kym Walls | Year Posted 2009
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