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Aubrey Brown Poem
I sit here twitching, shaking, in a panic
I don’t want to do this again, I hate feeling frantic
Don’t let this happen, don’t let me slip away
Into the darkest depths of my mind, nothing to say
At first these experiences seem inviting
But here there’s no such thing as deciding
The light is so bright and luminous at first
Until its’ quickly dimmed and the pain it causes hurts
The darkness creeps in like a predator
With the dim light as it’s’ competitor
Who’s going to win this time, this fight?
Who’s going to give the hardest bite?
Stuck between pure happiness and sadness
There is no explanation to this uncomfortable madness
Waiting, waiting; for this too shall pass
While the emotions in my head encompass
My heart surrounding the insufficiencies of my head
The feelings so heavy as if my heart is fashioned out of lead
Like I’ve got shackles on my hands and around my feet
In this state of mind everything seems obsolete
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Abandoned, scared and alone he lay in his bed
Wondering if he will ever have a loving home
On the concrete floor, he lays his head
Without a care for his old bone
It’s loud and the rotten stench of shit and piss fill the air
He lay, wishing and dreaming that he didn’t have to be there
Locked up and taken prisoner he is so sad
He never thought his life could get this bad
What’d he do to deserve such a terrible fate?
Waiting for the day he reaches the end
All he is now is a cute little piece of bait
Never knowing if he will ever mend
From the terrifying experiences had
Now afraid of any large objects or yelling
He is older now and the young ones are the fad
Look in his eyes and see what they’re telling
A lost and most beautiful soul
Awaiting the day he may find love
And get out of this terrible lull
He looks up to the heavens above
All he can see are painfully fluorescent lights
Wishing so badly to see the outside
To get out of here and have play fights
What he really needs is a person, a guide
Someone to love and support him
He waits and waits for his special person
Someone who’d make his life less dim
While the pain and loneliness worsen
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Elevator, elevator
One of the most awkward places you can be
Standing, crowded much too close to me
Should you say hello or just keep to yourself?
So you stand there stiff resembling a doll on a shelf
Elevator, elevator
A sudden stench encompasses the whole box
People look around like they’ve caught the chicken pox
The air is thick with unease and irritability
Everyone’s in a rush, utilizing their capability
Elevator, elevator
After what seems to be millennia the box stops abruptly
Another stop, still standing waiting for the lobby
Irish man breaks the silence with a witty comment
Its just like the movies –elevator ineptness is his vent
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Entering a world, a cold cruel place for some of the unlucky ones
Race, gender, sexual orientation, accomplishments, assets, pant size, you name it
What you are is a result of where you stand in these things. If you have all the right requirements
You just may be accepted. But those not possessing the right requirements
Those born into a destiny they may never hold the strength to fulfill
The winding vine of pure evil creeps deliberately, hate is planted in the depths of the untrained mind
Judgment, loathing, murderous, ignorant, fearful and malicious thoughts toward some
Those that are floating through this gray, lonely place. It is no place for you that much has been made known
Fighting off the thoughts of hate, judgment, self-loathing; just to make it through another day
How can one go on, how can one continue when hate is all that is received
For destiny has been previously decided for some.
However, as you go on through your day
If there is one thing here that you take with you
Realize the pain of ONE
Is NO different
Than the pain
of ANOTHER.
No matter your race, size, gender or skin color.
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
At the bus stop the other say brazen remarks
terrible things,from outside their hearts
The boy hangs his head,day's a bad start
As the little boy walks into the classroom
they call him dumb, stupid and a goon
the other kids point and laugh at him
they’ll never know how his life is so dim
In holy shoes he treads on the wet sidewalks
coat undersized and soaked are his socks
Greasy and pimply peers eye him like hawks
saying the next insult in their little talks
Father returns home and now things are worse
This boy -these children they live with a curse Dad punches, kicks and beats them bare
and from behind mother’s eyes do stare
His brothers tease him he is a dud
This boy is hated by his family, his blood
So he decides he can’t handle anymore
He grasps his Fathers shotgun lying on the floor
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Lost in the enthralling love that radiates from another’s soul
That one soul you are connected, when separated you feel a pull
An unseen rope between two hearts, generated and integrated by love
Something so lovely and pure it must emanate from the heavens above
More beautiful than roses, more beautiful than materialistic lust
More beautiful than the magnificent view atop a mountain, a must
This love is something more that only conjoined hearts understand
You want to scream at the top of your lungs and yell start the band
A connection that no thing and no one could break
Certainly it is something in opposite of fake
I love you more than anything in the world
You know I’ll always be your devoted girl
Love came out of nowhere like the best smack in the face
We wanted more but were scared to pick up the pace
With fearful and weary hearts
We decided to let this start
About this beauty there is nothing that I regret
The night I saw you, the night we met
When we first spoke the magical feelings revealed
Nothing could explain this, or break what has been sealed
Our bond has grown over the years
Always happiness and rarely tears
Your love supports me, embraces me for all that I am
You forget my flaws, about those you don’t give a damn
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2014
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Goodbye to you
Good bye to your snuggles too
Goodbye to time spent cuddle up in bed
Goodbye to the kisses on my head
Goodbye to the long walks we took
It made you so happy to play in the brook
Goodbye to your happy wagging tail
And your excitement when we'd receive mail
Goodbye to our sweet loving bond
The one that I have savored so long
Goodbye to times playing fetch
I am forever grateful that we met
I’ll miss the way you looked at me
When I had a treat in my hand you'd see
I’ll miss the way you'd get so excited
When I'd come home your face was lighted
I’ll miss all your cuddles and kisses
And the way you never threw out disses
I’ll miss your affection and unconditional love
But now you’ll watch over me from up above
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2017
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Aubrey Brown Poem
The day you and I met was the very best day
A new home, a new family all the others would say
I adored you the exact moment that we met eyes
It seemed you still loved me, even with my size
But that didn’t last long though
Pretty soon you turned into my foe
Kicking me, smacking me, burning me
I lost one eye and now I can’t see
Over and over all of the pain you caused
I didn’t know we were going to stop and pause
I thought I had a good home
I even had a huge dog bone
But after just one week life took a turn for the worst
I feel so weak and that I have been cursed
You punch me, throw objects at me and yell
This tale, such horror is hard to tell
But now I have a brand new home
And it has a completely different tone
See after I was rescued I started to heal
I was able to see this pretty sweet deal
Love showered upon me from this new family
They hugged me, kissed me and even scratched my belly
Walks in the park, treats in the eve
I know that you would never leave
I cannot express my sheer gratitude for you
A family so amorous I never knew
I thank you, you are my best friend
And we will be together ‘til the end
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2017
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Aubrey Brown Poem
Alienated by my past, because of my past
Carrying dark secrets across every bridge
I hide them under rocks
And I bury them in the dirt
With this bag of coal strapped to my back
While I trek and climb the mountain
On this journey, its all I know
My soul absorbs the baggage
And there it is... but I don’t see it
Neither do you
Its invisible
I have only the remains of what was
The mess that results
quick snapshots of the past
unanswered questions
With answers I don’t like
Finding the missing puzzle pieces
And putting them together
The burden of being alone
with the darkest secret
Because you never could tell
And you do what you have to do
To survive
I pick up another piece of coal
And put it in my bag
The questions flood my being
Why did I do this, how come I felt that?
And why is it that
On a beautiful spring day
When the sun warms my skin
the trees are vivid with blooming life
And the sweet aroma of spring teases my nose
Why is it crammed
with a sense of fear
And uncertainty
A vaguely suspicious
And familiar feeling
That bad things
Are coming
It tugs on my heart every so often
But I shove it down
Not today
It’s not real
There’s no reason
You should feel this way
Grab the paranoia and shame
Collect the fear and anxiety
And twist the cap on
Tight
Even if I told
If the threats were bluffed
And it was safe to speak of
The heavy bag I carried with me
Whose heart would break among the truth?
How could I utter those dirty words?
I couldn’t in good faith
unpack my
bags of coal
They wouldn’t fare it well
Their backs would break
Only I am strong enough
To carry this burden
What makes me different than them
What always made me different
What set me apart, a lone wolf in the night
But I could not
Invite you to join me
In the endless night
That is my life
So I continue
Alienated at the
hands of my life
Bearing the consequences of
the evils In this world
Until I can let it all go
Unpack it with the wind
Throw it off the cliffs
Into the ocean
Watch it sink to the bottom
While simultaneously I rise
Weightlessly into freedom
And I then take a small piece of coal
Out of my heavy bag
And this time
I leave it behind me
One by one on this path I chose
One piece at time
I let it go
My soul is tired
Back is sore
My legs are weak
But I will make it
To the top of the mountain
To freedom
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2022
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Aubrey Brown Poem
The loneliness creeps in
Feels like I’m trapped inside a tin
The pain is nearly unbearable too
There is nothing left for me to do
I feel like I’m stuck and I cant get out
All I ever do anymore is pout
I’m seemingly unhappy with this life
Even without having to go through all the strife
This is the final test
To see if we can get through this mess
I don’t know if we will pass
I don’t know if we will last
Resentment and anger have found their way
Engulfing and trapping me as I lay
They found their way to you too
No, this is nothing really new
As the years have passed
We thought this would last
But now were at a final standing point
And all of our accounts are joint
I’m scared so scared now
Of what could happen and how
If I am going to be alone forever
Because no one sees the value that’s severed
Copyright © Aubrey Brown | Year Posted 2017
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