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Nico Vivi Poem
At first I smiled just to get along,
I adopted the mask of love and joy,
Most of it was an artificial song,
This madness, falseness, darkness little ploy,
Was something that helped me get by.
Little did I speak, little did I know,
That somewhere along the lines, my brown eyes,
Reflected the happiness, that bright glow.
Soon, lies became real; no longer a fake,
I began to love, see all life flourish.
Whether ‘twas by fate or just a mistake,
Nevertheless, I wish not to perish.
With a resounding heartbeat so profound,
And a passionate desire to yell,
I began to walk with my heart, gray sound,
My footsteps crunch above the true tell tale,
Of a gloomy child afraid to walk.
Gray is a lovely color, is it not?
Some see it plain, as special as a block.
Combination of light and dark, sought,
The answer, borderline, neutrality,
My heart, very core, is the color gray.
Tranquility, Safeguard Stability,
I love my family, friends, the sun’s rays.
When life is uncomfortably hectic,
Find a new reason, purpose to smile.
Don’t have to be whole, normal, symmetric,
It can help you finish twenty miles!
This gray heart, though petite and fragile,
Is the only one I've got and I love.
What color is your heart? Strong or agile?
Bright, sensitive, hidden in an alcove?
But I know you can do it, so hurry,
Finish your marathon with your heart chrome,
But don’t trip, wipe your tears, almost there-- See!
Your friends and family waiting at home.
Copyright © Nico Vivi | Year Posted 2015
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Nico Vivi Poem
So many times, have I cried your name, and you do not answer.
I know not your face nor your name, yet I only know you are a sir.
Perhaps now married, perhaps still single, nevertheless,
You are my big brother, the longing for you makes me restless.
The labyrinth of my life, it is everlasting.
Everywhere I turn, I find more sadness that becomes unbearable and strangling.
I will keep my eyes open and wait for you, but even if you cannot return my feelings, please know,
Us meeting was no mere accident, I believe God sent you to me to show,
I needed a chance to change, a chance to smile!
So those who like me now, they have you to thank, While,
Those who despise me can kiss my derrière,
Because I will not drastically change myself for them, so there!
Don't you agree that it was fate?
I could have met anyone else, but it was you who opened the gate.
When I was alone, self-loathing because of how my relatives treated me,
You comforted me and told me I could talk to you, and through tears, I can see,
Wait for me... Please... We will meet once and for all,
You are my savior who saved one child from the darkness that loomed over so tall.
However, my heart is already the color noir and full of madness, corruption, hatred and sadness,
But you have only seen the loneliness in my heart, the depression and suicidal thoughts, yet with you, the impossible was possible, it was my happiness...
I shared my thoughts with a few others, but you are the first, the only one I truly feel comfortable not hiding from.
Everyone else, for some reason, cannot be trusted or be burdened with this weight of incredible sum.
But the reason I trust you the most, the reason I love you, is because you, out of all the people in the world, told me it was okay to... Be me...
Everyone else after was far too late and by then, I would have been found dead in the sea.
To cut out the heart that pains me, to shoot the brain that over thinks, to drown in eternal sadness or burn away the impurity of those who influenced me... To destroy it all and leave.
That is what will happen, therefore, I cannot risk strengthening the bonds I have with others, for soon, I will disappear without a trace, because of what I believe.
When I exact revenge on my family, I will be wanted dead and will have no further purpose. I will revert to nature's soil.
So, my existence will be a nuisance and though I will plunge everything in a hectic turmoil,
I shall not regret a thing.
May 1st, 2013; 5:13 pm
Copyright © Nico Vivi | Year Posted 2013
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Nico Vivi Poem
It had been my parents' greatest wish,
That I would slay and tame a dragon of immeasurable power,
Not to say that I am selfish,
But that is hardly possible for me to climb that tower.
Mother hopes for me to become an actor,
Considering the catches, I guess I'd be better off fighting an ACTUAL dragon of lore!
Father hopes for me to be a doctor,
Realistically speaking, it sounds perfect... Except for the part about gore.
As a child growing up, my mother would watch horror movies that I saw with enmity,
Being a little girl, I'd hide and peek through my fingers, only to see blood gushing out.
Curse my imense curiosity...
Trembling under my haven that consists of pillows and layers of blankets, I sob, I shudder and I shout!
I have always been squemish watching hospital shows,
In fact, as a kid, I didn't know seeing blood was a part of the job!
But as the years flew by, I still grow,
So in my childhood, I had been scarred and my sleep it robbed.
The scary movies had prepped me to be a doctor, ironically,
If I had not gone through with it, I would be a doctor afraid of blood and injuries,
I know it was not my mother's fault, for she is not the type to act cynically,
But I guess it's because of her that I'm used to it and now I like horror movies!
As I said before, my mother wanted me to be an actor, my father desired for me to be a doctor, both have its risks, I didn't mind what I became,
My heart is a candle, but my mentality is steel, my fears are gone,
My parents chose difficult paths for me that will lead to mud-slides, land-slides and avalanches, of course I will run wildly like those people in the movies, but honoring my family is better than blindless shame,
Buuuut... Is it too late to take on that dragon?
Copyright © Nico Vivi | Year Posted 2013
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Nico Vivi Poem
You’re the shining sun and silver moon,
Glowing brightly in my heart,
Your words soothe my thoughts,
And for once, I don’t worry.
Though we couldn’t talk much,
It’s like I’ve known you all my life.
But I don’t.
I want to know more about you,
Who you really are, what you look like,
I want to know more about you.
Unlike others, I’ve been given a messiah,
One I could talk to about anything,
Guardian angel, are you worried about me?
I know I get hurt a lot and I hurt others.
I know I’m tainted and cruel,
I’m sorry.
Can you forgive me? I don’t know what I was thinking.
I regret it and I want to take it back.
But I can’t…
So, as I repent under a perpetual, gray light,
Let us enjoy each other’s company,
For I know all too well,
Good things come to an end.
Family, Friendships, Life, Love…
So, may we hold hands and share an embrace?
Just for a moment, please,
Let us share a moment of eternal bliss.
May 17,2013
Copyright © Nico Vivi | Year Posted 2013
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Nico Vivi Poem
"Every time, countless stares, they try to peer into my mind.
Every single time, I am so tense, I cannot relax and unwind.
The painful judgment unleashed down upon my own flesh and blood,
Who is right, who is wrong, who is guilty and who is strong. Who is fit to rise from that which dirties our hands and body, the mud.
I want to get away from you, but I fear you not.
I want to watch you suffer as I rise and you rot.
Do not mistaken me, I truly am just a simple, regular girl with nothing to live for.
But that means that I can go to such lengths to grab your heart and crush your core.
Accusing me, I was just fine with that,
But now bringing down my entire family? You scummy, shameful rats!
Throughout my childhood, all I wondered was "why?"
Now, I don't care, when you cross my mind, I chant, "just die."
Blaming us for what?
Shunning us because we fought?
Your manipulation of our minds will NOT be tolerated.
I am the watch dog of this family and will not let you belittle and derate.
I don't need your help and I promise to be better than you,
This is one of the few reasons I will continue living and that fatal day you shall rue.
You stole my childhood, you made me cower in fear, you broke my already fragile soul...
Therefore, allow me to dispose of that heart tainted to the level of corruption, the place where your heart was placed will become a jet black hole.
How sweet shall it be to see that that fragile, odd and silent girl you ignored or insulted,
Will be the end of you and all for she, for ten years and still going, has cultivated,
A garden of thorny roses, beautiful in all colors and tainted with your scarlet blood so saccharine,
That truly this is not a heavenly virtue but a mortal sin.
And yet, perhaps your demise shall not satisfy the craving I so dearly wish to be relieved of.
Perhaps you should continue to live and watch me become the things you wish you could be, but for money's sake, could not do and afford to love.
But that day will come and revenge will be sweet.
It will surely be the sweetest thing I could ever hope to eat~!
May 1st, 2013; 5:13 pm
Copyright © Nico Vivi | Year Posted 2013
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