Heart slowly dying
Memories re-fuelling forgotten dreams
Dreams to stir
Prayers to be answered
Penned 18 December 2014
People milling around I do not notice them,
my face is turned to hide my loneliness,
Am walking in my own despair
No one else intrudes on my thoughts of
"How they were"
Days, months, years when love mattered
Loneliness was just a word
One word amongst many not used, thought absurd
Now I live this word
My heart is broken Feelings are numb
Trying to be the person I once was
People see my dimpled smile
Cannot see the ripped up emotions
Loneliness is an illness
Medication cannot cure
Non viral yet can spread easily
Prolific between young people
The elderly also.
Eyes are looking dead
Face looking down
Shutting out interference
A hug helps but non returnable .
Responses non existent
To be lonely is more than being alone
Loneliness can kill your soul
lies a house full of ordinary
a chest of bland memories.
You end up with
a pocketful of might have beens.
Within reason is five square feet of grass
and the proverbial white picket fence,
The word 'important'
never makes it onto the page.
Nothing"within reason" was ever found
that didn't already have its place.
When u abandon
you also abandon
the brother of reason
The one needs the other
two heads of the same dragon.
One breathing fire and brimstone
the other living without hope.
They never live separately
they are siamese twins.
The ying and yang of yesteryears.
They had a reason with a hint of possibility
They had something,
at best something insignificant.
But imagine what waits
when you eliminate 'impossible.'
In the darkest dark
within the scream of 'don’t',
inside the insanity of abandoning reason
it is there you'll find
that decaying flesh infested with worms
it is there where the round wheel was found.
You use a black shovel
through the bone
into the skull
through the brain
along the heart
into the gut.
There lies that fine line between insanity and genius
but THERE is where you have to go.
To get there you abandon reason.
Abandon the dogma shoved down your
throats all these years.
Glide on the wild side.
Show your body hair.
Expose your fangs.
Lights, camera, DANCE!
Is to remember
The touch of your hand
When you called me cariad
My mouth remembers your kiss
The feel of your lips
Sensual touch of your tongue on mine
The closeness this brings
Is to want to be with
Man woman or child
To love them
to want them near
To take in their being
When you love
It tugs at your heart
Making your chest swell
With unknown pleasure
Spreading to a smile
your eyes lighting up
The feeling of love
Keeps you young at heart
Helps you want to face another day
Yet no more
That love has lost its way
Floundering in the brink of destruction
Searching, for the exit of depression.
Needs to see the light once more
Yet all there is, is the heat of hells fire
The internal hell, that goes around and around the brain
Looking for answers, for the reason.
Memories try to flood the senses
Memories of the hope that once flourished
Now is smouldering in the no mans land of waste
Is there love ever after?
This is the third writing with letter L. As suggested by Jan..
Written by Tim Smith and Seren Roberts
Across the room I slowly walk
Hips swaying, smile in place
Sensually I use my body to talk
Holding out my hands to touch his face
Here she comes, walking my way
Beauty and grace, with a smile in place
Look at her swing, look at her sway
Oh how I want to kiss that sweet face
Gently I bring his face close to mine
Looked into his eyes, desire written there
Hungrily kiss his lips, they feel divine
I stroke his neck, ruffling his hair
She pulls me in, much to my surprise
Aromatic perfume, she's heaven sent
Glow to her face, twinkle in her eyes
Her touches so sweet, I must be a gent
Crooking my finger he follows at last
I wait til his body is close to mine
Slowly I turn, my heart beating fast
Look on his face is saying all is fine.
Following close when she calls to me
Feelings so strong, feelings so right
My heart beating fast, she sets me free
Our heat steaming up, on this brisk night
Just goes to prove with a smile and a sway
A gal can entice a guy in a seductive way
No Not Me
Did you think when I left
I'd never answer my phone,
ignore your messages,
never speak to you again?
Did you think I was that guy?
I thought you knew me
but it wasn't about me was it?
How often have others disappeared?
You were judging me as if I was them.
I guess I can't blame you,
life is not always kind.
But not me, no not me.
I'm not him,
It's my actions represent me,
define the man I am.
Words lie and eyes aren't always
an insight to every man.
You can't always trust their smile.
I bet the devil is an attractive male
with an inert charm and not a horn in sight.
You can't beat the sky in your own skin.
If your a demon you groom flawlessly,
dress like a king, with a look that's soft.
The wolf doesn't tell the sheep "I'm here!"
It's the guy with nothing to hide who is often
misconstrued. Honesty has it's price.
I don't blow dry my hair in the mirror.
practice my reactions.
I don't kiss up,
my nose is clean.
I don't always talk in a quiet melodic voice
or hide my tears. When I say it's alright
It just is.
I didn't walk away, I had to leave
but you can find me.
For you I am always here!
Did you think when I left I would disappear?
I hold you dear.
I'm always here.
No not you
You would never just walk away
Away from people or things you love
You don't always say what you feel in spoken
yet you shout out your feelings in written words,
no lies are here, you write from the heart.
Your love holds no bounds, you love for life,
You say that your eyes are not an insight to your soul,
Yet when the light goes out, I know your dying inside
To walk away, no not you, to hide for a time,
I sit here and ponder the days that have past
The many loves that I had, that just didn’t last.
One really sticks out, wish I had another chance
Treating her so differently, I’d show her romance.
I loved once a man, who just wanted to play
At being romantic .life was just foreplay.
Thought a kiss would be enough for his turtle dove
Not thinking about feelings, whether I wanted love.
We would start a family, having a baby or two
We’d live on the hillside, with a beautiful view,
We’d grow old together in the home that we build
Giving my life meaning, I’d be so fulfilled.
He now thinks that he wants me, I am the one
to fill up his heart to make me his own.
Promising me a home on a hillside with a view
Yet he hasn’t vowed that he would be true.
I’d hold her and cherish her til the day we depart
I’d profess to her my love and give her my heart
Romantic nights on that hill gazing up at the moon
Our days filled with laughter, frolicking in the lagoon
Sure he now promises me love for ever after
A life of joy, happiness and full of laughter
On that hillside we’d sit, watching the world go by,
A family, two dogs at our feet, kissing loneliness goodbye.
Penned by Tim Smith and Seren
Is beating. Is beating
Sending hope and promises.....
pumping ideals and ideas
reducing life's stresses.
ready to look for love
to accept to take..
They are laughing like naughty children calling out
As they run through the sweet smelling heather
Watching for a gnarled tree trunk to sit and rest about
Looking up into the sky they're wondering whether
The clouds will break and fine rain will fall
Nothing could mar this moment of joy of being together
They sit close arms entwined shining eyes showing all
The love they have kept hidden all this while
Life has been tough apart as they waited for this call
No more do they need a watch, time is no longer a trial
Together for always, kisses exchanged, love songs sung
Touching her sweet smelling hair he whispers with a smile
The years have not aged us as we waited for this moment we are forever young
“I don't really wanna know what makes you leave, or when you'll be back.
I just wanna know what will make me cry at your arrival.”
? Ade Santi
Was a cold and dismal night, you strode out
Why did your mind choose such a time to leave
What was so important, you had no doubt
This was the now, you so strongly believed.
Our life was on an even plateau, yes
boring at times, did we see each other.
Familiarity breeds hope I guess
Yet did not look and we did not bother.
Yet on your return how will I behave
Welcome home, or ask you why have you come
Do I want to cry, beg you like a slave
Or turn the other cheek, what's done is done
I bury my thoughts too raw to expose
As I buried the love, under my nose
Penned 17 March 2015