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Best Poems Written by Lisette Nichols

Below are the all-time best Lisette Nichols poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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To my future boyfriend I do not want a “price charming”. I do not need to be rescued from this ivory tower that I have built around myself to protect myself-worth and esteem that so many boys before you have left trampled and damaged in defeat without even a glance back. I do not want some Henry Cavill, crew cut, perfectly chiseled chest, hair slikced back, predatory white smile of a boy disguised as a man. But when I yell down to you that I am okay up here I know you’ll attempt to climb it anyway.
To my future boyfriend, I have set myself up so high that I simply cannot be touched. guarded by dragons built out of doubt and distrust. I’m sorry I’ve grown accustomed to protecting myself because my father died when I was two and my half-brother left when I was four. So I never really learned how to look a grown man in the eye or ever heard one say, “ It’s okay I got you, I’ll always be here no matter what.” Instead I learned to be independent, self-reliant listened as my mother and sister’s said, “ Its okay fathers day isn’t that important anyway.”
To my future boyfriend I won’t make you sit through a rom-com snuggling up on the couch as I dreamily wish it were us riding away into the sunset. Because I know those sunsets don’t last that those astonishing shades of blue’s, pink’s, and orange will become dull and fade over time.
To my future boyfriend there will be day’s that I won’t even recognize myself day’s I’ll sit and wonder “Who are you really?” But I hope you’ll come and search for those missing pieces with me dust them off and glue them back together so maybe I can finally see the other half of me that stare’s back at me in the mirror. That when you whisper you love my body will become ridged my heart will tighten its chains and my mouth will utter complete bullshit as I tell you love is just a word that holds no meaning to what I feel for you. Because love is exactly what I feel for you and words will never be able explain how my heart thunders like a summer storm in late June just from a quick kiss goodbye as you leave.

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One In the Same

I'm not the same, but neither are you. I have never been the person you thought I was as I live behind these lies that I have created for myself. I didn’t intended to go this far, but when push came to shove I sat there in the dirt giving up on tiring to fix myself to be the person you wanted me to be. I am not this shell of a girl you once knew and came to love. I am more than what you define me has. You no longer hurt me with your double standards. And don’t think I didn’t catch them grasping at them, as you hinted at them. You may think that you can have that short while in the serenity I used to cry over when forced to leave, but you don’t get to keep it. It is not yours to cling to, hold me to.  Our worlds may have barely collided skimming past each other, but they aren’t one in the same. To different to be fated, so close to reach. So here I am different, but the same as I cling to the child I once was. She is me and I am she, but one thing we aren’t is you.

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A Stanger

I am not you ,and you are not me ,but still we stand here in awe of ourselves of this angry silence we face toward each other, but nowhere near each other because the thought of me touching you ,and you touching me brings back memories we both don’t need so this silence consumes us , abuses us , forces us to come to the conclusion maybe this isn’t what we intended to be neither you or I could have wondered what we could be so maybe this is what we should be strangers that pass by without even a glance in either directions so maybe this is what we’re supposed to be.

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Little Girl

She touches, feels the bone, but is it really there or is hidden behind mounds of flesh that she hides.
Hides behind the red hair that makes the insecurities of a little girl lost in the world that is much bigger than her own.
Dazed & confused she looks in the mirror wishing for that one wish to come true so that she can finally be free from the guilt she consumes or the fears she gains.
Will she finally be free from the month’s, year’s, days of suffer she has endured from societies pressure’s growing intensely day by day only to be crushed by that hope only to have that hope disappear?
Every time she tries to climb back up that latter only to stumble back down to the sidewalk and to be casted into her own dark shadows that a wait her taunting her , calling her back to the darkest depths of despair only to find that her only last glimmer of hope as disappeared.

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Other Days

Confidence is such a fleeting thing, one moment you have it held in your hands and the next its squeezing through your fingers like putty. I crawl on my hands and knees most days searching for it, weaving my hands though the granular pieces of sand cutting my fingers on invisible shards of insecurity . Most days I won't look past my jaw line , eyes trained not go past the boarder, red flags and guns raised saying if you look past this point there will only be hurt. There are days where I fill my head with thoughts so elaborate, running with tunnels and twists I cannot get out of. I’m lost in my own labyrinth not certain I want to leave. Other days tones of grays and black wash over with hatred and disgust. Hues of blue give a flicker of color leading to thoughts I dare not speak out loud afraid if I voice them I won’t will be able to take them back, keep them locked in the places I only dare go on my darkest days. I will lead my miss guided ghosts back to their promise land seeking out the light only few have glimpsed. Conquering demons that lay wake in the deepest regions of my mind. I will learn to love this body by crossing lines that are only drawn in sand.

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Do You

Do you still think about me because God do I still think about you. Not constantly, but in the moments when night becomes dawn . On the bus, windows fogging up as condensation gathers, taking me be back to when I could hear your laugh clear as day. Riding my bike home as I peddle faster until I can no longer remember how truly brown your eyes are. How warm your voice was on the phone as I deep cleaned my kitchen. I mostly remember the bad moments.  1: I told you I didn’t think I could ever love you the way loved me. I was scared. 2: You would tell me you loved me every time we would say goodbye. I would walk away pretending not to hear you. I loved you. 3: I tried so many times, but the last time was for me not for you. I could no longer watch as you desperately clung to my hands as I pulled away. How many times did I break your heart because I can only count three, but it has to be more than that. All I ever did was take an take and take I never learned how to give you my heart , but oh God how I would give it to you now if it meant forgiveness.

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Endings

My brain is screaming, but my heart doesn’t seem to care. 
I want to believe that your truth isn’t lies; that your love isn’t a waste of my time. 
A round of tug war with you and I
I want to let the rope go, but you won’t let me, you grasp my hands in place while you hold me. 
Your embrace is warm yet so cold. 
To you I’m everything yet I’m nothing compared to you. 
I see your pain as I tell you to let go to leave this mess and fined happiness. 
So let go, let go, let go so only I can suffer.