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Best Poems Written by Paige Turner

Below are the all-time best Paige Turner poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Analysis Paralysis

When you look at your reflection in a mirror, what do you see?
I see a failure, and that failure is me.

I feel like I’m stuck yet I pace up and down.
My face is etched with a worrying frown.

The problem is I tend to fester and then over-think.
At times It’s so bad I feel like I need a drink.

My stomach’s in knots and my mind in a different place.
There’s just so much that I simply can’t face.

But this analysis paralysis will not be the end of me.
First steps needed – deep breaths and a cup of tea.

Music helps me to relax and to calm.
I know that I have support so I’m safe from any harm.

I’m loved by others which makes me warm inside.
I will keep on going – one day I’ll hold my head up with pride.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

I Heart My Stool Chart

I have to admit I’ve got a confession
About my unhealthy obsession
Other kids love pop stars with all their heart
For me it’s the Bristol Stool chart

There’s seven different types of poo
With pictures that give me a clue
to how long the poo’s been in my bowel
Poos that’s both fresh and some that’s foul

Each morning once I get out of bed
For breakfast I’ll have brown bread
The chart is a handy tool
To identify your type of stool

Now I’ve decided to tell
You about the different poos that smell
Cos it’s clear that the Bristol stool chart
Can also indicate your type of fart

Type 1 is as hard as a nut
And stays longest in the gut
Type 2 is a sausagy lump
That’s hard to squeeze out your rump

Then there’s types 3 and type 4
These are the poos I adore
These are the poos I prefer to make
A cracked sausage or smooth like a snake

Types 5 and 6 are easier to pass
Blobby or fluffy ones from your ass
Type 7 is the worst of all
It gushes like a waterfall 
  
So now you’ve got all the scoop
On all the different types of poop
I love identifying my poo and type of fart
The Bristol Stool chart fills my heart

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Emotional Whiplash

One day, Brad felt overwhelmingly sad
The next day Brad was raging mad
Following this day, Brad was feeling glad
This was the best day that Brad had had

One day, Suzy had been crying all day long
The next day Suzy was cheerily singing a song
Following this day, Suzy wasn't feeling so strong
Suzy was feeling like she didn't belong

One day, Peter woke up feeling quite flat
The next day Peter happily met Brad for a chat
Following this day, Peter was worried about his cat
His cat that day had been bitten by a rat

One day, Paige's mind was all over the place
The next day, Paige had a smile upon her face
Following this day, Paige wasn't feeling quite as ace
All Paige wanted was to have her own space

Whether you're Paige, Peter, Suzy or Brad
and whether you're sad, happy worried or mad
The emotional whiplash you get isn't really all that bad
because it means you're still living, even if it's just a tad 

My name is Paige and I write poetry when feeling emotion
It's like taking medicine when sick, or applying a cream or lotion
Sometimes I write in order to avoid conflict or commotion
Writing poetry helps me avoid a mental health implosion

I hope these words on some level do resonate with you
I write from the heart and these feelings I describe are true
I hope you find courage to write when you're feeling blue
because you'll feel better afterwards, as it really helps me too

Sending love from Paige to all of you in Poetry Soup
I Value the support from this amazing community group
Our 'Espirit-de-corps' has me letting out a whoop
It's a lifeline to cling to, a lifebuoy, a hoop

'Espirit-de-corps' - Definition: the common spirit existing in the members of a group and inspiring enthusiasm, devotion, and strong regard for the honour of the group.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Busy Bee

I'm really enjoying being part of Poetrysoup,
I feel like I belong in the community group.

I hope to share my poems when I can,
and this is all thanks to my poetry pal, Jan.

There may be times that you may not hear or see me,
and that's because I'm a busy little bee.

I'm also trying to write a couple of books,
I hope the process doesn't ruin my looks.

if you miss me, feel free to message me,
For I'll be away working on my destiny.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Therapy Zoo

Within the confines of my nearest Zoo,
There’s a place that’s off limits – it’s not for you.
It’s where the animals go for therapy,
As animals have issues just like you and me.

It’s here where all the animals can go and chat,
To the zoo’s therapist, Beatrice Bat.
Beatrice will listen whilst upside down,
As animals express themselves with furrowed frown.

The first patient that’s in to see Beatrice today,
Is Harry the horse who has an allergy to hay.
Beatrice listens to Harry, and then she thinks,
“Take hay fever tablets Harry – take with your drinks”.

Next in its Eddie Elephant, addicted to booze; he’ll use his trunk,
To swig down gin and tonic until he is drunk.
“For a small subscription fee that this clinic will pay,
I’m sending you to Animal Alcoholics Anonymous – the AAA”.

Beatrice shouts “Next”, and in comes Gary giraffe,
“I’m scared of heights” – “Scared of heights? You’re having a laugh”.
Beatrice uses hypnosis to alleviate his frights,
Of living his life being so scared of heights.

Belle the baboon is next looking rather glum,
She’s getting bullied for having a hairy bum.
“In order to get the other baboons to behave,
Belle, all you must do is give your bum a shave”.

Last to see Beatrice today, is Suzy Sheep,
An insomniac who cannot go to sleep.
“Count your flock Suzy, count them one by one,
And in the land of nod, you’ll soon be gone”.

Beatrice is happy, for her days work is done,
She finds helping her patients rewarding and fun.
Alas, poor Beatrice has no-one to tell when she has her own need,
Being upside down, it’s not nice for Beatrice when she has a nosebleed.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Hiding Behind the Mask

Midnight comes and I'm lying in my bed wide awake due to 
Anxious thoughts of what will happen tomorrow at the
Staff Christmas party. No doubt the alcohol will flow leading to
Questionable decisions made by myself in order to entertain others
Unnecessarily to cover my true inner self. I am seen by others as an
Extrovert, when in reality, I'm longing to be alone. Ideally, I'd be more
Reclusive than I let on, but the show must go on, and as the office clown, I
Am always expected to do a prank on a co-worker or spin a yarn. I am
Definitely hiding behind a mask, as so many others do. It's easier than
Expressing my true feelings and being who I want to be.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Poop Pain

As I live and as I breath
Constipation makes me heave
The pain just makes me cry
No matter what I try
My poo's stuck, I do believe

I simply don’t have the luck
In my gut my poo is stuck
The smell that’s from my bum
Makes your nose rather numb
It’s worse than a garbage truck

Details | Paige Turner Poem

I'M Fighting Back From My Panic Attack

Panic Attack - I hate that you are here,
Panic Attack - I live constantly in fear.
Panic Attack - How on earth do I cope?
Panic Attack - All I want is to elope.

Panic Attack - You sure won't beat me,
Panic Attack - You'll lose I guarantee.
Panic Attack - So long, I bid you farewell,
Panic Attack - I'm going to send you to hell.

Details | Paige Turner Poem

The Flobbadobbing Communication Translation Tale

Flobodobba-dob? asked Bill of Ben
Dobba-flob? Ben asked Bill to repeat again
Ah!! Dobba-flobbing flobadom Bill confirmed with linguistic skill
Flobbing dobba-do dob do Ben wrote down with his Quill

Hadn't the flowerpot men heard of Google Translate
then they wouldn't have as much trouble to communicate
"Weeeeeed", "Weeeeeed" suggested their best friend little weed
but alas, the flowerpot men couldn't speak weed, so didn't take heed

Flobadobba dob dob flabba flob - they both whispered in the foyer
Dobba dobba flob - for they had come to see their lawyer
Today was an important day for both Ben and for Bill
Ben was there to witness the signing of Bill's Will

But who will inherit Bill's estate when he dies
Will the reading be full of mystery and lies
Maybe Bill actually had listened and used Google Translate indeed
for Bill's estate was all left to his friend little weed

So the morale of the story is to use Google Translate
if you want to make a deal behind the back of your mate
Bill used Google Translate to make sure he did succeed
and leave his wealth to his real best friend little weed

Details | Paige Turner Poem

Backwards Boy

This is a story about Barry Hunt
Who tried to pull off a remarkable stunt
He tried a bungee-jump without using a rope
He then fell to the ground the silly dope
And now his head is turned back to front.

He now sees everything from the back
Which often leads to a panic attack
Because now when he needs a poo
And he has to visit the loo
He simply just doesn’t have the knack

It’s even worse when he needs a wee
Because Barry can no longer see
His aim is so bad, which really makes him sad
Cos to get bullseye he would need a degree

This story of backwards boy Barry
Ends with him finally becoming happy
He then got a job as a teacher, which became a magazine feature
And now he was a celebrity chappie

With his eyes now on ‘the back of his head’
He could see what the children had said
Although there was no cure, he got awarded Teacher of the year
And he celebrated when his name was declared

Barry partied all day and he partied all night
He danced the ‘backward robot’ until it was light
Despite Barry’s backwards life, that night he met June his wife
and now Barry and June are doing alright.