Short Pastor Poems

pardon us pastor, if we go not to war
you see, our soul has been spoken for
betrothed to Holy Spirit
touch our heart, to feel it...

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Heard from Pastor on the internet:
If you are smart, you make lots of gains ("money"); but if you are WISE, you make a LIFE....

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One day
I went to church to confess my sins
But the Pastor called the Police men
So I am in custody waiting for trial

By Chipepo Lwele...

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I adore my LORD,
More than a pastor,pope
or muhammad.
And I am highly favoured
and blessed.
For I adore to exault the
LORD,above all creature!...

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The pastor had preached so long
The ministry though it was a song
But they realized
He'd been hypnotized
So, they took him to where he belonged...

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A lady being wed in Decatur
was an annoying procrastinator
I do! —No, I don’t!
I can! —But I won’t
The pastor left saying:  See you both later

2/6/22...

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Sly pastor, his wife had a bust,
One charging the pews with much lust;
Collection plate filled,
With cash overspilled,
Once pastor ruled, pass it, she must....

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Patrick, an old country Pastor
Who's parish was getting hard to master
He performed christenings galore.
Last month forty-four.
He wished the women ran faster....

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The wedding dress was to long
Even the pastor tries to hurry it along
The pride took small steps
But still she side steps
Into fast time and ends up in Hong Kong...

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There was a pastor named Caste
Whose habit of swearing was vast.
Some said his firing was near
But Caste cited nothing to fear
“You see, I repent too _____ fast.”...

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proctor
doctor

legal
eagle

feature
preacher

smuggest
druggist

master
pastor

deck
tech

paid
aide

Written April 4, 2022...

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Here lies our pastor who swore like hell;
he preached free love and knew it well.
	(His wife in fact
	caught him in the act)
and if you think he swore like hell......

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Trump supporters were truly impressed
When Trump took bleach to church to be blessed
Trump did not succeed
The pastor could read
And decreed Trump indeed was possessed...

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Here lies our pastor who swore like hell;
he preached free love and knew it well.
	His wife in fact
	caught him in the act,
and if you think he swore like hell......

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Buzz-buzz cell phone
Have you news for me?
Yes sir, yes sir look and you will see
One about a pastor
One about a game
One about great big lies
We tell you that are lame...

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The pastor was feeling quite blue,
       Pennies on his plate were few,
       So he gave a blazing rendition
     On the church's tithing tradition
 And the pennies on his plate soon grew....

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Greek from pappas= father
Successor of apostle St. Peter
Bishop of Rome
Resides over a college of bishops
As Father Christ's Vicar, representative
Supreme pastor, priest and teacher of the Church...

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[Composed after yet another news headline 
of a pastor advocating death to all LGBTQ people]


Christians, Christians,
full of Christian love
If there was a god he'd smash
them flat from up above....

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Dear Pastor, please feel free 
to preach the truth to me
on lying, prying, crying,
on trying, sighing, dying
but, I beg, not gluttony.


January 20, 2019, entered in Juli-Michelle's Rhyme Battle XII...

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In the church hall, as they sung to pray
To usher in Pastor Nyari, for spiritual food
The tile that crack, ushered in water
The swamp stationed hall, sucked litres of water
Only three boys, were seen floating...

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My pastor scowled, where have your nasty thoughts been?
You must know every impure thought is a sin!
But my mind kept transgressing
There was JLO undressing!
He said do as I do, and poured me some gin

1/21/23...

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The stained glass windows of
The Old Southern Baptist Church
Blinked both eyes at, 
The black robed pastor
Today, we need a testimony 
Glorifying these wings of glory
Hallelujah sweet Jesus
Everlasting grace, amen...

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A Pastor restoring a picture frame
needed to replace some gold leaf,
upon asking the girl
at the Hardware shop.
“Do you have any gilt?”
She replied
“Sometimes it’s overpowering”

Anon

Revived  Harry J Horsman  2010...

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GOOD FRIDAY

We all call it Good Friday
It was really good for the sinner
Death won round one
But on Sunday, we crown the winner


	Kyle Giddens
	Pastor, Olivet Baptist Church
	Dublin, Georgia
	(Used by permission)...

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Cat is chasing fat rat
Cook is burning paper
My classroom is dusty
I come to school on foot
Baby is crying for milk
Mother is kneeling down
Bird is drinking dirty water
Pastor is saying prayers
I live in Africa continent...

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