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Long poem by Brian Johnston | Details |

Growing Up, La - Part 2 - Rev 3

- - Chapter 2: Adult Responsibility (With Some Breaks) - -     

By ten years old, no weekends off, 
Or Saturday cartoons, 
Although I did have cash to spend, 
I felt my life in ruins.
I dusted cars in my dad's store, 
And cleaned its toilets too, 
I fixed truck tires as I got old, 
Not much I couldn't do.

A trip to two month summer camp, 	
I learned to shoot and sail, 
At twelve years old, a pioneer, 
Canoed explorer's trail.
Near tragedy on my return, 
My sister paralyzed, 
A late victim of polio, 
My conscience brutalized.
Felt guilty leaving her alone, 
While I frolicked and played, 
Brotherly love had been displaced, 
Her protection was waylaid.

The washers, dryers, I repaired, 
And freezers with no chill, 
Then televisions came along, 
Tube testing my new skill.
Assembling new farm implements, 
And posting parts on hand, 
My driver's license opened doors, 
‘Collected bills' firsthand.

On Sundays we would go to church, 
To hear the preacher tell, 
Because my dad was not with us, 
His soul would burn in Hell.
	
Dad's Channelled Poem-[]
[‘It's bad news when a preacher comes.
They all want stuff for free.
I have to feed my children too,
I've problems they don't see.']

Three years of summer music camps, 
In Junior High reborn, 
I played piano in dance bands, 
Took lessons on French Horn.
My French Horn teacher laughed out loud
When I walked through the door, 
‘Your lips too thick, please stick out tongue, '
Now rolling on the floor! 
‘To take your money is a crime, '
The German said to me, 
‘You've no high notes, ' ‘I know' I said, 
‘Mom loves French Horn you see.'

Most summers were our busy time, 
We all worked hard till dusk, 
My ‘tail rung through a ringer, ' (1)    la, * 
The time for ‘smart mouth' (2)    brusque.
But then the job that I loved best, 
Flat tractor tires in field, 
A chance to meet a farmer's girl, 
The country's charm revealed.

One summer worked a cattle herd, 
Two thousand cows were planned, 	
By cutting, wind-rowing (3)    the grass, 
Soon haystacks dotted land.
Dakota winters could be fierce, 
The temp forty below, 
The stacks were shelter from the wind, 
A shield from blinding snow.
We'd use a horse for round-up, la! * 
My God that was a thrill, 
Except for blisters on your ass, 
Or when you took a spill.
I had not ridden horses much, 
You're so far from the ground, 
The horse not knowing you from spit, (4)   
Disdain can be profound! '
There was no time for niceties, 
And work to do, ‘C'MON! '
If horse and you somehow part ways, 
No choice, you climb back on.

Our ranch was all on ‘Indian Res., ' (5)   
By river loop enclosed, 
In South Dakota's Lower Brule, (6)   
A twelve year lease proposed.
Land acres more that twenty thou.
Covered by native grass, 
A chance like this was very rare, 
My father could not pass.
The river's edge a solid fence, 
No barbed wire to maintain.
The nearest town two hours by road, 
Security mundane.
Our days were mostly work and sleep, 
With meals our only break, 
Except for weekend groc'ry trips, 
No chance for love's heartache.

Till I discovered farmer's girl, 
Who lived half way to town, 
Contrived a way to go to church, 
When Sunday's call came down.
The church's name not one I knew, 
The people all seemed nice, 
To escape Sunday's usual fare
Was worth most any price.
Harmonica, accordion,
Played music we could sing, 
The pastor beat foot-pedalled drum, 
We made the rafters ring! 
I told myself, ‘there's something strange, 
The music's gone too long, '
Emotion peaking and yet I
Somehow did not belong.
With music's end the sermon broke, 
The world's sure end was near, 
Time now to sanctify all sin, 
‘Repent now! God's word hear.'
For God's quite mad, this cannot stand, 
No doubt that it is prov'n
Those rockets from Canaveral 
Are shooting holes in Heav'n.
I was in shock, glued to my seat, 
The flock their garments rent, 
And I the last one in his seat, 
No sin did I lament! 
At last not knowing what to do, 
I left and went outside, 
And knew whatever happened now, 
I hadn't found my bride.

Brian Johnston
August 20, 2014

Poet’s Notes:
* When I was in the American Peace Corps in Tanzania, East Africa we had a group of 7 
surveying assistants that were always with us in the first year and that we became very 
close to. Their conversation was always sprinkled with 'la' and I thought it was kind of 
cute. Like they might say to me, 'Why don't we stop in this village for some food, la.' 
They used this word kind of like I use the word ‘OK' in casual conversation. 'You've got 
food in your teeth, la.' I really enjoyed this idiosyncratic affectation.

(1) 'tail rung through the ringer' - Early washing machines did not have a 'spin cycle.' So 
to get the excess water out of your clothing you would ring out the water from each item 
of clothing first before hanging it on a clothes line to dry completely in the sun. So the 
phrase 'tail rung through the ringer' means that you are all out of energy, and very tired. 
The energy has been squeezed out of you by your job like water rung out of newly 
washed clothing.

(2) 'smart mouth' Someone who likes to talk back to authorities, or who just complains all 
the time.

(3) 'wind-rowing' - To rake newly cut grass into long rows called 'wind-rows' that could be 
more easily picked up and bailed then by yet another machine.

(4) 'not knowing someone from spit' - To have no respect for the person at all.

(5) ‘Indian Res’ – Land that Indian’s were given official title to by the American 
government in an attempt to placate and domesticate them.

(6) ‘Lower Brule’ – A huge tract of Indian Land contained in a large meander of the 
Missouri River. Although the mouth of this loop is only one mile wide, to get from one side  
of the meander by river is over 28 miles. Lower Brule is owned by the Cherokee Indian 
Tribe.


Long poem by Poetryof Providence | Details |

The Forge

I remember the beach sand and swing
when you and mother were still something
I remember the ducks in the lake
you held my hand watching their wake
I remember the sheep dogs when the day was through
and the mornings grass all covered with dew
I remember the dead man and blood on the floor
my hand in my mothers as she went for the door
I remember the stairs I thought I’d fall through
and the building where she was hidden from you
she tried drowning me in the bath and the tub
her hands on my throat on the dining room rug
the pain of the walls where my body flew
the floor of the closet when she was through
I remember you entering the door
as you picked up my body from off the floor
the words were so ugly I’ve forgotten them now
but things haven’t changed much anyhow
I remember the willows and switches not few
a home not mine and the children were new
a string of families never seeming to end
the abuse and the beatings I’m not on the mend
I remember the the rage and the red flushed face
what did I do to fall from your grace
I remember the fear when I tried to hide
the man and the 2by4 when it hit my side
the bruise and welts with noone to care
my mother and father aren’t even there
I remember the family that took me in
they had no daughter just two young men
one boy was loving the other was slime
but the parents protected me most of the time
I was safe for awhile with nightmares not few
and some of my demons she helped to slew
I remember you taking me home at last
you had remarried some six months past
I remember the woman was cruel and mean
she remained that way till I was sixteen
At fifteen I had been already raped twice
the drugs and pills and the wrist yet to slice
I remember the police to the hospital sped
the straight jacket and thorazine I should have been dead
I remember the airplane that sent me away
with my half brothers mother I was to stay
my neck with a forearm pinned to the wall
my half brothers brother screaming he will have all
I remember the screaming as I flew down the stairs
his violence had caught me totally unawares
the pain as he smashed me on the walls of the hall
the kicks in the ribs after my fall
the nine months I walked in a state of fear
how I passed my classes is very unclear
I remember the man when I hitched into town
the car was a sedan of dirty brown
the doors had no handles no way to get out
he pulled out a knife and proceeded to shout
how he would cut me and make me bleed
if I didn’t fill some sort of need
how I grabbed the wheel for steering the car
when he slammed on the brakes down the road not far
when he slid out the door by the side of the road
it seemed to me that all time had slowed
he released me with curses not language unknown
from the cage of his car this bird had flown
I remember the man preaching justice and truth
but to find answers one must become sleuth
I remember the marriage and I made him swear
that to hit or harm me he must never dare
I remember the baby with curls of gold
by seventeen to marriage my father me sold
I remember the lapses of time I had lost
the forge of my youth and the price it had cost
the thread that kept me alive was so thin
in my mind it was always me against him
I remember the children that helped keep me sane
with some sort of focus with the man I had lain
I remember the striving for some sort of truth
what kind of a mother my children had in their youth
I remember it all so plain and clear
that violence from men will always be near
I swore at sixteen no child to have
if you couldn’t play safely with joy and a laugh
forgive me my children for bringing you here
the reasons I do things are sometimes not clear
My parents are gone and I do not mourn
but only for the life I was never shown
I did try to spare you the same kind of fate
I hoped that my love would be never to late
I had no control of the time or the chance
that injustice would look upon you with his glance
I raise my eyes to the heavens and vent to his name
to save all the children who are yet put thru shame
In a blast furnace my life has been forged
the tool of the hammer has formed my discourse
in molten metal I have been shaped
the tool of another I have not escaped
what of the purpose he hopes to hew
a piece of equipment all shiny and new
I remember my maker and the state of his grace
the road laid before me and the words of his face
the view of my nature he seeks to tame
with so many others who walk in the flame
in wails united to pull heaven down
and with its brightness scour the ground
his promise to do so has not yet passed
when all of mankind will feel his blast
the call has gone forth the meaning is clear
to give an accounting is so very near
those who think themselves high shall be made low
the dust of the earth their destined to know
the one that I follow has carved out the path
his star has shown brightly beneath thorn and the lash
I reach my arm forth to take hold his hand
to walk among humans woman and man
he paints a clear future for those of us all
a paradise lost to man in his fall

COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller
via Duboff Law Group LLC

COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller via Duboff Law Group LLC


Long poem by randall graves | Details |

Life in a Dream corrected

Moments to Reflect
Life found in a Dream 
Today I’m a lonely man living in a cold, cold world filled with indifferences and malice. As time marches on a harsh reality come to my mind, time is on no one’s sided, it is only given once and all must die and tomorrow is not guaranteed. This seems so mean because having no one to really love or so it seemed, I was just a lone no one was on my team.
I started to think and reminisce about the think in life that I missed. Tears appeared in my eyes and my heart skips a beat so I lay down and felled into a deep, deep sleep. Suddenly and to my surprise I was on a beach with soft sand underneath feet. The sky was so blue and the air smelled oh so sweet; it dawned on me that this was a place few have ever seen.
I walk down to the water and what did I see; the sea was strange so let me explain; it was made of crystal with a glow all of its own and the waves gave off a musical tone. As my mind adjusted to sounds and the sight I spied out another wonderful delight. There across the sea, a city brighter than the northern lights, oh what a beautiful sight.
I fell down to my knees overwhelmed by the glory that was before me. I thought that I had died and stepped to the other side. I knew what I was seeing before just could not be true, such beauty, it could not exist, not in my world, never like this. A melody that I have never heard before arose from the City across that crystal sea. It had to be played by Angels, the music was so, so sweet; that I felt a joy from my head to my feet and knew deep in my heart that was where I belong,
Just when I decided to dive in and swim to the other side, I heard a soft voice call out my name. I turned around to see who it was that called out my name. There He was this gentle looking Man with sadness in His eyes. He spoke to me and this is what He said; my son, my son you cannot dive in and swim to the other side. So I ask Him why I can’t swim to the other side, that’s easy for me, am going to try.  No, no, no it not for you it not your time was His only reply. I did not understand His reason but I felt His command and suddenly my feet was stuck in the sand, I cried out with hurt and pain in my voice; what lies on the other side, who are you and why can I not go on the other side?
This is the story that He told:
The city that you see beyond the crystal sea it belongs to me and it has streets that are paved in gold. There are many mansions lining the roads and in each one there are treasures that are a wonders to behold. There is no hunger, sickness or death, life everlasting and there you will find rest and for all eternity you will be My guest.  Now I will answer your second question, my son, my son; I Am, who I Am! I came to earth a long time ago and I prepared The Way for all my children to come home. This is some that you should know, for it was written for all to read a long time ago. I am always with you in your times of needs you are never ever all alone. Last but not the least you ask me why; my son, my son it’s just not your time. 
Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open, and until you love Me, it will never be. Now go back and remember what you seen and what you have heard, because time grows short. Spread My words that My kingdom draws near, repent, repent and stop causing Me tears.
I suddenly opened my eyes and I was home in my bed and I start to cry. Never have I felt such joy and peace deep within. I went down on my knees and I ask the Lord Jesus to please come in and would you please forgive me of all of my sins, please come and live inside of me until the end. I now sow the seeds and when the harvest comes the Lord will know if they landed on fertile ground. Keep this in mind cause when it is time He will separate wheat from the weeds and set all of His children free.
(Warning, Warning)
The time is now, and do it before it to late! 
Time is on no one side.
Everyone want to go to heaven but no one want to die.
You do not have to worry if you have Jesus inside.
He there for the asking want you try
Do you want Him? He want you, it about free will and you must choose.
The Gift is free, Heaven are hell which will it be?
I hope that I have sowed a seed and it will grow, but it will only grow if you truly believe and have faith deep within your heart and soul.
Time waits for no one!
Faith is something sight unseen will you not set your spirit free? Is it so hard for you to believe that Jesus is the answer and all you need? The door is open want you please come in? Don’t you think it time to find that Kingdom that is way up high filled with riches up in the sky?
 


Long poem by randall graves | Details |

Life found in a Dream

Life found in a Dream 
Today I’m a lonely man living in a cold, cold world filled with indifferences and malice. As time marches on a harsh reality come to my mind, time is on no one’s sided, it is only given once and all must die and tomorrow is not guaranteed. This seems so mean because having no one to really love or so it seemed, I was just a lone no one was on my team.
I started to think and reminisce about the think in life that I missed. Tears appeared in my eyes and my heart skips a beat so I lay down and felled into a deep, deep sleep. Suddenly and to my surprise I was on a beach with soft sand underneath feet. The sky was so blue and the air smelled oh so sweet; it dawned on me that this was a place few have ever seen.
I walk down to the water and what did I see; the sea was strange so let me explain; it was made of crystal with a glow all of its own and the waves gave off a musical tone. As my mind adjusted to sounds and the sight I spied out another wonderful delight. There across the sea, a city brighter than the northern lights, oh what a beautiful sight.
I fell down to my knees overwhelmed by the glory that was before me. I thought that I had died and stepped to the other side. I knew what I was seeing before just could not be true, such beauty, it could not exist, not in my world, never like this. A melody that I have never heard before arose from the City across that crystal sea. It had to be played by Angels, the music was so, so sweet; that I felt a joy from my head to my feet and knew deep in my heart that was where I belong,
Just when I decided to dive in and swim to the other side, I heard a soft voice call out my name. I turned around to see who it was that called out my name. There He was this gentle looking Man with sadness in His eyes. He spoke to me and this is what He said; my son, my son you cannot dive in and swim to the other side. So I ask Him why I can’t swim to the other side, that’s easy for me, am going to try.  No, no, no it not for you it not your time was His only reply. I did not understand His reason but I felt His command and suddenly my feet was stuck in the sand, I cried out with hurt and pain in my voice; what lies on the other side, who are you and why can I not go on the other side?
                                     This is the story that He told:
The city that you see beyond the crystal sea it belongs to me and it has streets that are paved in gold. Many mansions lining the roads and in each one there are treasure that are a wonder to behold. There is no hunger, sickness or death, life everlasting and there you can find rest, for all eternity you will be My guest.  Now I will answer your second question, my son, my son; I Am, who I Am! I came to earth a long time ago prepare The Way for all my children to come home. This is some that you should know, for it was written for all a long time ago and I am always with you in your times of needs you are never ever all alone. Last but not the least you ask me why; my son, my son it not your time. 
Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open, and until you love Me, it will never be. Now go back and remember what you seen and what you have heard, because time grows short. Spread My words that My kingdom draws near, repent, repent and stop causing Me tears.
I suddenly opened my eyes and I was home in my bed and I start to cry. Never have I felt such joy and peace deep within. I went down on my knees and I ask the Lord Jesus to please come in and would you please forgive me of all of my sins, please live inside of me until the end. I sow the seeds and when the harvest comes you will know where it can from. Keep this in mind cause when it is time He will separate wheat from the weeds and set all of His children free.
(Warning, Warning)
The time is now, and do it before it to late! 
Time is on no one side.
Everyone want to go to heaven but no one want to die.
You do not have to worry if you have Jesus inside.
He there for the asking want you try
Do you want Him? He want you, it about free will and you must choose.
The Gift is free, Heaven are hell which will it be?
I hope that I have sowed a seed and it will grow, but it will only grow if you truly believe and have faith deep within your heart and soul.
Time waits for no one!
Faith is something sight unseen will you not set your spirit free? Is it so hard for you to believe that Jesus is the answer and all you need? The door is open want you please come in? Don’t you think it time to find that Kingdom that is way up high filled with riches up in the sky?
 


Long poem by randall graves | Details |

Moment to Reflect

Today I’m a lonely man living in a cold, cold world filled with indifferences and malice. As time marches on a harsh reality come to my mind, time is on no one’s sided, it is only given once and all must die and tomorrow is not guaranteed. This seems so mean because having no one to really love or so it seemed, I was just a lone no one was on my team.
I started to think and reminisce about the think in life that I missed. Tears appeared in my eyes and my heart skips a beat so I lay down and felled into a deep, deep sleep. Suddenly and to my surprise I was on a beach with soft sand underneath feet. The sky was so blue and the air smelled oh so sweet; it dawned on me that this was a place few have ever seen.
I walk down to the water and what did I see; the sea was strange so let me explain; it was made of crystal with a glow all of its own and the waves gave off a musical tone. As my mind adjusted to sounds and the sight I spied out another wonderful delight. There across the sea, a city brighter than the northern lights, oh what a beautiful sight.
I fell down to my knees overwhelmed by the glory that was before me. I thought that I had died and stepped to the other side. I knew what I was seeing before just could not be true, such beauty, it could not exist, not in my world, never like this. A melody that I have never heard before arose from the City across that crystal sea. It had to be played by Angels, the music was so, so sweet; that I felt a joy from my head to my feet and knew deep in my heart that was where I belong,
Just when I decided to dive in and swim to the other side, I heard a soft voice call out my name. I turned around to see who it was that called out my name. There He was this gentle looking Man with sadness in His eyes. He spoke to me and this is what He said; my son, my son you cannot dive in and swim to the other side. So I ask Him why I can’t swim to the other side, that’s easy for me, am going to try.  No, no, no it not for you it not your time was His only reply. I did not understand His reason but I felt His command and suddenly my feet was stuck in the sand, I cried out with hurt and pain in my voice; what lies on the other side, who are you and why can I not go on the other side?
This is the story that He told:
The city that you see beyond the crystal sea it belongs to me and it has streets that are paved in gold. Many mansions lining the roads and in each one there are treasure that are a wonder to behold. There is no hunger, sickness or death, life everlasting and there you can find rest, for all eternity you will be My guest.  Now I will answer your second question, my son, my son; I Am, who I Am! I came to earth a long time ago prepare The Way for all my children to come home. This is some that you should know, for it was written for all a long time ago and I am always with you in your times of needs you are never ever all alone. Last but not the least you ask me why; my son, my son it not your time. 
Seek and you will find, knock and the door will be open, and until you love Me, it will never be. Now go back and remember what you seen and what you have heard, because time grows short. Spread My words that My kingdom draws near, repent, repent and stop causing Me tears.
I suddenly opened my eyes and I was home in my bed and I start to cry. Never have I felt such joy and peace deep within. I went down on my knees and I ask the Lord Jesus to please come in and would you please forgive me of all of my sins, please live inside of me until the end. I sow the seeds and when the harvest comes you will know where it can from. Keep this in mind cause when it is time He will separate wheat from the weeds and set all of His children free.
(Warning, Warning)
The time is now, and do it before it to late! 
Time is on no one side.
Everyone want to go to heaven but no one want to die.
You do not have to worry if you have Jesus inside.
He there for the asking want you try
Do you want Him? He want you, it about free will and you must choose.
The Gift is free, Heaven are hell which will it be?
I hope that I have sowed a seed and it will grow, but it will only grow if you truly believe and have faith deep within your heart and soul.
Time waits for no one!
Faith is something sight unseen will you not set your spirit free? Is it so hard for you to believe that Jesus is the answer and all you need? The door is open want you please come in? Don’t you think it time to find that Kingdom that is way up high filled with riches up in the sky?
 


Long poem by Therese Bacha | Details |

Deep Dark Poem

     ~Deep Dark Poem~

Tonight I want to go deeper in my soul
I want to be born again tonight I want
to go back in my mothers womb and feel
my happiness of my first cry yet feel her 
real pain while she was delivering me
I want to feel both all her pain and the 
little of happiness I had since I was born.
I want to feel each breath I breathed since 
that first night I want to see my fathers
eyes if he had a tear of happiness while 
holding me for the first time .
                 
I want to walk talk laugh cry climb defeat 
succeed breath suffocate scream eat drink 
revive my senses I want to hold her breast 
and be a baby again I don't want to grow 
Old yet I want to remain a new born in her 
arms to feel safe I want to hold my fathers 
glasses and see the color of his eyes will I 
have them will I have his nose will I have 
my mothers softness will I cry for help will 
I see and hear and listen and run and walk 
and hold her hand to feel safe I am lost 
tonight I need her grip.
                     
I need my brother who carried me where is 
he today why did he leave me so early and 
die so young I want to eat with them I want 
to share with them in what state of mind 
I am in tonight I want to go home tonight 
to my mother and fathers home I want to
see their light at their home as I am living
through my darkest hours tonight.
But I cannot as all what I want 
I cannot have.

I want their faithful love I want to sleep 
on their bed and feel the warmth of their 
love in our home where I was born and 
after years I was torn away from them 
to live in another mans home. 
                   
They forgot to tell me how much they 
have suffered when I left their home and 
went away they forgot to tell me so many 
things that iI am experiencing them now
today yesterday and tomorrow my life 
passed away so quickly busy bringing up 
my kids busy giving them an education 
busy cooking for them busy working to 
provide for them everything busy washing 
busy crying busy going out busy busy where 
are they now where was I when my father 
left to climb up his ladder where was I 
when my mothers turn arrived to climb up her
ladder and stay next to him they went up to 
meet their son who left them years ago he 
was only 29 years old they had to live suffering 
suffering missing missing him their first born 
for years and years.
                     
Father of my 2 boys thee only ecstasy 
I had during that marriage nothing was 
real except my kids nothing existed except 
them nothing meant anything in my world 
except them nothing ever passed before 
them they are my light when i am blind 
they are my laughter in my inside they 
are with me with every breath I breath 
we are inseparable even when they are 
far I see them when its dark I see them 
when I am deaf I hear them through my 
strength I survive to keep them alive. 
I walk alone yet their shadow never 
leaves my sight they call my name from 
far I call them back I write to reach out 
for them to read through my lines how 
much I need to be cared for even one day 
maybe half a day maybe a few hours even 
one second is more then enough to pump 
my heart to go on.
                  
So sorry my fellow poets tonight when 
you read through my lines you will forgive 
me as I am sentimentally in pain affectionately 
in pain tonight my pen was agonizing missing 
my children missing to see them how do I survive 
daily without them I don't know I know I have 
been doing that for the past 35 years seeing 
them on and off due to the war in our country
& unexplainable circumstances. 
Tonight forgive me. I have no more tears.
                                                                                   
                                                                                            Therese Bacha
  Deep Dark Poem for contest of PD  (Win.No 4 )                            22/2/2013


Long poem by Therese Bacha | Details |

The Immigration Officer Asked Me

                                 "The Immigration Officer Asked Me."

I was asked where are you coming from?
I answered I ran away from the war in my
country.?

I was asked how many years the war lasted?
I answered there was war for sixteen years
we were bombarded daily attacked by militia
on our way to work when we could go to work.

I was asked why did you choose this country?
I answered because they accept political refugees
and i heard that Canadians are helping us.

I was asked why do you look so pale and slim?
I answered because we had no food to eat when
we were bombarded we could not go out to buy
food, and when we were in the shelter nobody
brought us any food.

I was asked why are you wearing dark glasses?
I answered because i am not used to see the light.
We rarely had electricity, always using a candle
and staying in the dark for days my eye sight
weakened.

I was asked why don't you hear well?
I answered because of the arterially shelling.
And we had a bomb falling on our ceiling when
i was sitting in our home before the bomb fell.

I was asked why do you look shabby?
I answered because we never had water.
We never had water running in our tapes 
we had to buy water to have a shower or 
rain to fill utensils in plastic for many days.

He asked why don't you have any luggage?
I answered because i have nothing to wear.
My kids education needed all the money and 
i worked 2 jobs to bring in some money.

He asked what kind of work did you do?
I answered i was working in the hospital.
And working in a Boutique for mens clothing.

He asked were you working as a nurse?
I answered no i was cleaning the floors
and bathrooms i was everywhere for years
in that hospital.

He asked do you have any money on you?
I answered no the militia took everything.
When i arrived to the boat to leave the 
country as the airport was closed for 
years sometimes, at the port, one militia 
guy just snatched the few dollars i had.

He asked did you leave your home behind?
I answered no they bombarded my home
its in rebels i have nothing left in Lebanon.
He noticed my tears tumbling down my cheeks.

He asked where were you living then?
I answered i lived underground with many
people, for months sometimes we were 
underground sleeping on the floor somedays 
we had no food given by the enemy, the cry`s 
of children hungry was unbearable.

He asked do you have any family with you?
I answered no i have been alone since the war.
I had to send away my children after they 
were able to graduate not to be snatched by 
the militia. They both went to the US to work.

He asked how many children do you have?
I answered i have two boys one is a lawyer
and my other son is an interior designer.

He asked and where are they now?
I answered they ran away from the militia
to the US as we had very close friends who 
took them until they could find work to pay 
a rented room.

He asked how may languages do you speak?
I answered i speak three languages.
Arabic English and French.

He asked do you want to stay here?
I answered with my tears blinding
my eyes, please, i have nowhere
to go and i heard so much about 
the Canadians how human and 
generous they are.

He looked at me with a painful look
I will accept you as a political refugee
we will give you some money every
month you will have a bed to sleep
you will have food to eat work to do
water to drink shower and clothes
to wear and you can ask your 
children to come, are you happy now.

He stamped my passport and wished
me a good luck with a huge smile.
The beginning of a new life.

                                             Terry
                                           7/3/2013


Long poem by Cynthia Ozuna | Details |

This Woman

I remember my teen years and the attitude I had.
I always said, “I’ll never let a guy hit me or treat me bad.”
The first time it happened, the first time I was hit;
I couldn’t believe he did that to me, it was bullshit.
I felt immediate pain, disrespected, and degraded;
feeling like my mind, heart and soul had been invaded
with anger, tears, and genuine disbelief,
quickly turning to confusion, terror, and grief.
I remember crying out “Why did you hit me?”
He was drunk and so angry, he couldn’t see
the tears streaming down my face and the pain so deep.
He just ignored me and went to the bedroom to sleep.
I stayed up that night replaying that moment
when he first beat me, like a drum…an instrument.

That was the beginning of an abusive relationship
in which I received bumps, bruises and a busted lip.
The shame I felt with a black eye and bruised cheek;
calling in sick to work for two days that week.
Returning to work with makeup caked on the bruise;
coworkers saw through the mask, they saw abuse.

I was only 21 with a secret I couldn’t tell.
My life with my boyfriend was a living hell.
What happened to that strong Chicana who didn’t take shit?
Where did she go?  Why was she getting hit?
He made me question the woman I had become.
Maybe I did deserve to be battered, maybe I was scum.
I thought if I learned to cook better meals,
stopped wearing sexy clothes and high heels,
if I looked down when we went out,
maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t shout.
I feared his anger and rage
it was too much for a young woman my age.

How could I allow this monster to abuse me verbally and physically?
I had allowed him to strip away my pride, he controlled me totally.
I knew not how to escape from my new horrible life.
I was raised with a loving family, now all I knew was strife.
Even when I was seven months pregnant with our first child,
I was still being abused; a punch in the belly, that was mild.
The verbal abuse and hurtful names pained me even more.
I was called ugly, fat, slut, *****, and whore.
Each name and every slap or punch tore away at my heart.
I needed to leave, take my baby and go, but I didn’t know where to start.

The shame of being a battered woman was too much to handle.
If I confided in my family or friends, it would be a huge scandal.
How could I tell them that the strong confident girl was long gone.
I had become some guy’s doormat to be thrown and walked on.
I had lost my joy, my laugh and my smile.
I had become an abused woman suffering silently, yet in denial.
I thought I deserved the abuse; I didn’t make him happy, it was my fault.
Maybe if I lost weight and worked two jobs the abuse would come to a halt.
That didn’t work; he still beat me and cussed me out.
I knew he didn’t love me, there was no doubt.
I began to believe everything he told me…
He said I was disgusting, fat, and ugly.
He said no other man would ever want me and my children.
He told me I could never be attractive to any men.
I believed his bull*****and all of his bold faced lies.
My smile became a frown; gone was the sparkle in my eyes.

Fast forward my life, 26 years after the nightmare began.
Divorced for four years and living a happy life without that man.
I wish I’d known then, all that I now know.
Never settle for a man who’s abusive and love he doesn’t show.
If he doesn’t care and respect you from the start,
don’t allow that man any place in your heart.
Life goes on, the bruises fade, but the memories never do.
You can get away and find happiness by learning to love YOU!


Long poem by Vicki Acquah | Details |

SURVIVAL IN THE MIDST OF IGNORANCE

My prayers are not asking you to
 
save me from my enemy.
 
My children have turned their backs.
 
They praise dance with many
 
Adversaries-
 
When they need be refuking,
 
protesting and rebuking.
 
Among-st those who fight against me-
 
be my offspring.
 
I fear not the man who
 
I already know to be the beast
 
While my eyes follow my historical foe:
 
Those created in my womb,go
 
behind my back sign treaties with known
 
enemies
 
Chiding our valuable place in history. 
 
They do not want to know how they got here-
 
They do not care.The nature 

of the beast consumes them.
 
Eyes full of temptations we 

kept their butts covered,
 
and gave them what we could never have.
 
Instead of gratitude they give us latitude  
 
we cannot reach them.
 
They love the enemy, like a favorite pet-
 
Stroking the dog and biting
 
the hand that feeds them wisdom.
 
We walked miles with no shoes -
 
Prayed for our families-
 
Now our families-prey on us
 
With every thing handed to
 
them through the struggle;
 
Our children render our efforts
 
useless and in vain.
 
Vanity be thou sanity 
 
Consuming life from 

the top shelves in cafe's...
 
Thinking non -sober thoughts-
 
Who knows why we now be despise.
 
Deaf are their ears when they hear our names;
 
Holding us accountable, For the shame. 
 
Never ready for the change.
 
My prayer now is;
 
God save me from my people:
 
The joy that settled in my
 
accomplishments is now
 
unsettled disappointment,
 
disturbing !
 
They want to have 

their cake crumbs
 
and eat them too.
 
Save us from the

 disgrace of how they
 
discount all we've sacrificed - 

We made it through
 
and we have shown our 

strength against all odds
 
How now they praise-

dance with the enemy
 
They drink no more 

from separate fountains
 
Never sat in the balcony-
 
never knew the colored section;
 
Never stood on buses.
 
Those of us who never found a soft
 
place to land in the concrete jungles;
 
 have lined your bottoms with cushion's
 
from the sacrifices and suffering we
 
endured.
 
Watching you again discount us as you
 
leave us to the ridicule of your own judgment.
 
As you praise dance with those
 
who aspire to see your detriment.
 
Never before have so many brave elders
 
have had to watch their own children rob
 
them of their glory and dignity.
 
Even an imbecilic knows when he's better off.
 
That's the sad difference between an
 
slow learner and a fool.
 
A fool never cares nor takes responsibility..
 
The slow learner finally learns.
 
And is delighted to be enlightened.
 
Where the fool continues
 
to waddle blissfully in his own ignorance -
 
Resenting all who shed light on the
 
error of his ways....
 
Those who have his best interest -
 
Become his stumbling block.  
 
Difficult now for them to blame others;
 
With bright lights shining on stupidity--
 
We give them proof-
 
blinded and overwhelmed
 
by the truth-they are not interested our story
 
Never realizing that while their
 
stubborn heads were buried-in the sand.
 
We still have to stand-- guard
 
over their protruding azzes 
 
Until my children have learned  
 
where they fit in on earth,
 
and what they are truly worth
 
they will continue " Praise-
 
Dancing" with the enemies
 
They will continue to be as eaglet's
 
flapping around the yard ,
 
clucking with the chickens...
 
never soaring-never getting off the ground
 
Bewildered by our "diminutive etymology":
 
The Elders and The Ancestors;
 
We look dumbfounded,and mutter....
 
"Where did we go Wrong" ?
 


Long poem by danielle lewis | Details |

Water Under The Bridge

As much as I cared & wanted to 
be there to share life & space, u 
forced my love away. I tried... 
exposed the depths of my heart, 
mind & invested time. Got lost 
in u gladly but sadly ... Itz 
water under the bridge. 
Speaking resounding peace into 
my realty & what I must be... 
strong enough to let go & let 
God refill me. Rejecting the 
weakness that craves, the 
waves... back & forth, up & 
down, we crashed & burned, 
yet... I've learn. Rising from the 
ash & resurrected from rejection 
also known as my blessing ... 
the break of chains. Tears stains 
& pain is weakness leaving the 
body once the lessons is 
received, u can't hold on to 
what's is not

meant to be, chasing a dream 
will only lead to you being 
depleted but I'm undefeated. 
Borrowed strength from the how 
I got over'z ... the praises, the 
truth, remembered how I 
nurtured the girl who was 
damaged in my youth. How I 
cried & asked why, but my life 
moved on, took the strength 
from the hurt of my past in my 
arms, full armor... Strong!! 
Daily Psalms... & remembering 
never to loose Isaiah No 
weapon's formed against me 
shall prosper... So try again 
player. No longer victim to ur 
lust, I shall conquer & defeat, 
remember my spirit is willing 
even though my flesh may get 
weak. My children daily 
reminders of motivation ... 
they're beacon of light, morning 
Starr...  devour the darkest 
nights woman of God shine 
bright. What I gave u is water 
under the bridge... I am peace 
amongst ur troubled waters, I 
am calm & victorious in my 
escape living to make the best 
of everyday. Learning to invest 
in myself & love fearlessly in he 
who loves me ... all praises to 
God who is worthy to be praised 
FOR EVERYTHING, thank u for 
ur forgiveness & the gift of 
repentance... renewed faith... I 
dropped my baggage yes I lost 
weight... I noticed I'm lighter & 
much healthier now without the 
dramaticz & demons trying to 
convert me to be who u felt I 
should be. The equation 1plus 0 
is still 1... the subtraction u... u 
had nothin when I met you ( 
unconditional love)... I 
upgraded u. Tried N da past to 
add urself unto me, tried to use 
& abuse me but now....Water 
under the bridge! This 
expression simply my release 
with ease, it is what it is. But I'll 
tell u what it's not....Itz not 
holding on to the abuse, 
women/men must speak of 
truths & act on what is known 
as freedom. free ourselves or 
drown deeply in the waters ... 
under the bridge! u must 
choose. {Peace & blessings to 
whomever reads this 
expression. It wasn't to bash! It 
was simply to say that 
sometimes in 
relations/relationships we settle 
for that rob's us mentally, 
emotionally, & spiritually. I had 
the power every time to break 
the chains in that moment but... 
I subjected myself to the 
undeserving. Now that I am out 
of the belly of the beast "once 
again" lol... I say unto myself & 
u... if u know better do better ... 
if it doesn't feel right it isn't. If it 
hurts... Itz not love. If ur light is 
not shining bright due to the 
shade of someone who doesn't 
care.... Please move on & let it 
be water under the bridge. Let 
the healing began}. Peace & 
blessings as the sunshine 
embraces u this morning or as 
the moon caresses you beneath 
the ~Blackstarrz


Long Poems