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Long Poems
Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

Used As An Experiment

Used As an Experiment

THE SILENCE IS BREAKING MEEEE….CAN’T YOU SEE?


V.1: Strong AS STEEL, wrapped up with silver, heartfelt ribbons
Give it to me – the rope of hope
You smoked me out like a cigarette…
Used like I’m an experiment…I mope…I mope…
I’ve been ruined a thousand times
Yet, I stayed strong – I never cried a tear

(pre-chorus)
You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you
(pre-chorus)
You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you

(chorus)
What am I supposed to do? 
Your hate internalized in me…
Don’t ask me to change – I sift out every single lie
Because I won’t stop believing in the Lord Most High
I burned in the dense flames, 
I churned…in the ocean of blames…
Remorse, calling me names

V.2: I bleed…you were my disease once upon a time
Visiting rehab in my head…
Addicted to you like a drug…
Abused and moved by you….
I don’t care about me anymore…
Disaster unfolds, trapped in your scorching RIBCAGE…
Restoring rage….you called me hideous names behind your breath
I’m like an absurd bird, longing to fly out of her cage
Now, I get you…I get your motives of abandoning me…. 
You neglected me…you stubborn, attention-seeker
You never listened to my acknowledging complements 

(pre-chorus)
You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you

(chorus)
What am I supposed to do? 
Your hate internalized in me…
Don’t ask me to change – I sift out every single lie
Because I won’t stop believing in the Lord Most High
I burned in the dense flames, 
I churned…in the ocean of blames…
Remorse, calling me names

V.3: You ditched me with heartless selfishness in your heart – you’re a 
devil! 
Your lips soaked up the poison in your heart…it cements
Deep inside of you…deep down inside…
Wait for me, so I can keep up with you…
I don’t care about me anymore…
Disaster unfolds, trapped in your RIBCAGE…
Restoring rage….burning wild like wild sage…
I’m like an absurd bird, longing to fly out of his cage
Don’t discard me – give your heart a break
Don’t hurt me – for Mount Heaven’s sake!

(pre-chorus)
 You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you

(chorus)
What am I supposed to do? 
Your hate internalized in me…
Don’t ask me to change – I sift out every single lie
Because I won’t stop believing in the Lord Most High
I burned in the dense flames, 
I churned…in the ocean of blames…
Remorse, calling me names

V.4: Loving you ain’t easy, that’s for shore…we never were a fine pair (you 
only lived for your own satisfactions)
Blameworthy – I seem to be these days
Get up from the ground and think better about your actions (For all I’ve 
stood for, you were never appreciative…I swam lonely in the pool of misery 
and despair)
Next time, leave the front door…
I’ve been wandering in the maze of bewilderment
Find your own way out of my labyrinth of lament
Dare to wonder where I’ve been?
In the cave of sin…caved in by sin…
Getting devoured in the lion’s den…

(pre-chorus)
 You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you

(chorus)
What am I supposed to do? 
Your hate internalized in me…
Don’t ask me to change – I sift out every single lie
Because I won’t stop believing in the Lord Most High
I burned in the dense flames, 
I churned…in the ocean of blames…
Remorse, calling me names

V.5: I don’t care anymore…
Disaster unfolds, trapped in your RIBCAGE…
Restoring rage…burning bright like a star with a tattooed scar
It feels so wrong to be in the dark, so far…so far…
Away from your charms…your warm, cuddly arms…
So far, I’ve been digging deep in your soul…
Anxiety banging at my skull…skull…
In my mind and heart again
Forget and forgive 
Feed the flames of uncertainty
You don’t deserve to die or live
Where shall I flee? Free me…

(pre-chorus)
 You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you
(pre-chorus)
 You’re getting by – I’ll let you through and go ahead and commit your 
crimes!
I have no fear in my young heart…I don’t bottle up fear
And I ain’t gonna shed a tear for you 
I’ll keep searching for the light with or without you

(chorus)
What am I supposed to do? 
Your hate internalized in me…
Don’t ask me to change – I sift out every single lie
Because I won’t stop believing in the Lord Most High
I burned in the dense flames, 
I churned…in the ocean of blames…
Remorse, calling me names

V.6: Yet, I stayed strong – I never cried a tear
I’ve been ruined a thousand times
Used like I’m an experiment…I mope…I mope…
You smoked me out like a cigarette…
Give it to me – the rope of hope
On my own, feeling like I don’t belong – wrapped up with blue, heartless 
ribbons


THE DISTRESS ABYSS IS SUCKING ME UP – RELEASE MEEEEE….

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by Russell Banks | Details |

Double Cross My Heart

Selena...Sarah the Sorceress
Russell...the Ghost of Never-land
This year has not been mine
Death laughs at me as he steals my grandfather from me
while I plead emptily for him to take me instead
yet I fail to realize I'm already dead
This sudden move robbed me from my angel
tore apart the fabric of my reality
Time has elapsed, Spring is here
but forgetting gets harder when your own movie replays
it's nearly impossible to let go
It's been almost a year to date and I remain the loser
yet I have a week now, week to dabble in my past
a week to pick up where I left off
How naive can I be; I was thrilled for the life of me
but life quickly reminded me I was better off away..
Time stops for no one and lives stop for nothing
A short memory slip, I'm back to accepting banishing failure
The hope for tomorrow: be better than today
a well received conversation with a father
re-connection with a grandmother
kept pouring into the jar: "Wanting to Stay"
The sun blocks out the blind and I along with it
as the moon, my only guide, shines at night
This fright of life I live can never give a home to a bright-side
hopefully reuniting with my Sorceress will bring this Ghost to life
may it free the anger inside
at the same park where our first date began, our tryst
A decision to make, a road to take just to discard the thought
a yearning to sit and bask in her presence
a yearning to sit and hold her in my arms
but I'd be too afraid to let her go for she may be lost to me
forever and again
Joy and excitement in my heart, killed from the start
as I find her by the bridge, her kid sister in tow
so I glance down for a sign of the fall...I'd live
Moments pass by, talking and wondering why
why she...why she couldn't be mine one final time
No one could best me, put her on a pedestal reaching the clouds
treat like a princess or am I just speaking out of desperation
I didn't know what to do then, I still don't
I know all the words, the motions; I have the oceans on my side
yet all I can do is stop and stare
All the confidence I summoned up subsided
by the fact only four days remain before I'm shipped off once more
to an unforgiving place; an uneven plain of pure torment to my soul
How can it be; I'm feeling alone even with her
man, I miss her...upon this cliff, perched on this rock
overlooking the world I wished for her to see, my arm around her
We let our feelings play out, told our history
as soon as I make my leave, "why did I come here in the first place"
the thought to cross my mind
I felt so lost but I couldn't allow her to see me cry
not here, not with her eyes piercing me
How can it be, how can it be; I guarantee, guarantee...
she'll never miss me...
I knew everything when it came to her even about her other
and all they did together; she told me everything
Has the color faded from my face
all at once, all my claims were broken and betrayed by one girl
I admit seeing her was a victory, a wish come true
but I still left defeated, like what I thought I had to win
I only came to lose
My heart was hers once, will I ever get it back
but lets be honest, no one looks as good as her with that
Couldn't she notice the way I held my head
when my dimmed eyes were focused on the air
Comments fell, goodbyes were said yet no hugs were gave
I believe we would've both broke down
Fear and anguish wasn't present, the feeling of leaving nothing
fell hard like bricks
The wall came crashing down all around, barely making a sound
Tears fell but I let no one see; the music knew all too well
The feelings inside: hurt and pain; looks like agony won today
I started to turn and run but looked back at everything I had loved
speeding off while I wonder if it meant anything at all
I gasp for eternity, regretfully leaving behind beauty
Where's a wall, a punching bag, ANYTHING!
I'm full of rage, sorrow; I need to let it out
I can't accept this, not yet, my future wife in my eyes is a friend
a perfect chance for closure down the drain I'm sorry
How on Earth can I possible pretend
What if the nightmare became the truth
What could I have left to believe in if it were all true...
I have a barrage of questions but I receive never answers
My heart was hers once now it's a delicate necklace around her neck
I didn't love enough to watch myself fall away 
like dust on an old carpet
Stranger than fiction, tougher than oak, disturbed as the sea
blue as the sky; lonely than a bird lost in a growing storm
forever I remain
If my heart can take the pain, it might take forever and a day
but I'm willing to wait, wait for what?
A fool to try, a fool to dream, fool to believe, fool to love
only me
when the world takes away the one meant for...
My heart was hers once, dangling on a string
a wolf and a rose, my symbol
Is this all a nightmare, something make sense tonight
has agony won or is this a failed flight
I doubled my heart with a leaf and a wish
but it flew away in the wind...
How do I feel now...empty and vanishing...
I feel I'm growing through grief, have been for so long
and I just can't find my way to accepting this
so a Ghost I started, a Ghost I remain
the sky may be blue
I'm clear this day

Copyright © Russell Banks | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Timothy Hicks | Details |

Never Out of Season - A Short Story

     I was wiping the dust off an old snow globe in the upstairs attic, when a mop of honey-blonde hair suddenly appeared through the wooden flooring.
     "I thought I'd find you here," said the voice, warm and feminine. It was a lovely contrast to the thoughts that bloomed inside my head. The little red Santa smiling gaily, his gloved hand forever frozen in a wave. Truth be told it was over a hundred degrees outside, and up here in this cobweb-ridden place (by God) was practically unbearable.
     But as I lightly shook the fragile keepsake I found myself dashing through the snow like I once did so many years ago. I heard the sound of high pitched laughter from afar, out in the sultry day (most likely the neighbor kids playing tag through a sprinkler-soaked lawn). But there, at that precise moment, I was taking the road before me, and singing a chorus or two.
     "You miss him don't ya?" the voice broke me out of my thoughts, and for a moment I just stared at her as if she had a left over piece of spinach in her teeth. I nodded quietly in the silence and rubbed the smooth curvature of the glass with my thumb. It somehow felt cold, as if winter wonderland was still trapped inside.
     I knew I hadn't stayed too long, though I knew my wife would be patient throughout this ordeal, however long it took. She didn't need to recite any famous sayings to pick me up, just her being there was enough. It was the unspoken truth between us, and it was always enough.
     "Cody and Angie will be downstairs when you're ready to head out."
     "I'm ready now. I was just doing a little cleaning up." It wasn't quite a lie. It was one of those statements we use to say one thing and mean the other. The attic was "okay", but I knew of more dire things in need of some organization.
     Beth went down the ladder first, naturally. Then it was me, a bit awkwardly, still holding the snow globe. We both came into the living room, where our children sat waiting. Cody was playing some handheld video-game in his Hawaiian swimming trunks. Angie was quietly giggling at something her friend said, via text. Her blue bathing suit was barely more than a strap, and I knew I was this close from losing it. But this was a happy day, so I let it slide, just this once.
     "Are you still not ready?" asked Angie.
     I looked down at my blue work jeans and buttoned-up t-shirt. My wife gave her a fierce look, as if willing her to take back what she said. It didn't really matter though ... my emotions were spent.
     "I was gonna change when we got there," I said, a bit defeated.
     "Whatever." She rolled her eyes and plopped her phone right there on the couch. I just stood there like a lifeless statue, while my family got everything ready to head to the local pool. My wife was as patient as a snail, but the kids bustled about as if they've been down here a lifetime. Cody was mad when Beth took the game-boy from his hand, just before some big important checkpoint. Angie was calling Beth completely unfair for not letting her invite Tom over to come swim as well. My wife told her, "This is a family event, no exceptions, and for Pete's sake, listen to me for just this once!"
     I just stood there, in quiet grief. Their voices were mere sounds, plastic and surreal, and I went along with it as if everything was alright. But it wasn't alright. The world was falling apart all around me, miraculously still turning, and I just stood there! Finally I reached for the doorknob, when I realized I still had the snow globe in my hand.
     I looked at it longingly, with affection, and it came to me. A slightly crazy idea. Not the kind where it's life or death, but the fact that it was a spur of the moment decision, it felt totally crazy. I placed the snow globe on the mantel above the fireplace, where the glass caught the sun just right and the jolly Santa shone a brilliant red.
     Allow me this simple pleasure, I asked God in silence. Let the neighbors gawk and smirk all they want. Let the kids think their father's going senile, thinking it's December and not August. I didn't care. I just watched the little flakes twinkle through out the water-filled dome.
     I displayed it proudly, knowing that good will, kindness and love were never out of season. So I picked myself up out of my gloomy state, got inside the car, and slid into the driver's seat. "Alright, let's go!" I said cheerfully, and everyone looked surprised.
     "Dad, is everything … okay?" asked Cody, from behind. But no answer was necessary. I just smiled, and looked across at Beth without a care in the world.
     And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.



First Published in Dual Coast Magazine Issue #3

NOTE: I've written a few short stories, but this one is special to me. It was well received by my family, and I was so excited to discover it was accepted by a magazine. It was my first non-poem to be published.

Copyright © Timothy Hicks | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Matthew Abuelo | Details |

Last Love Letter


Oh to vacation behind the heavy metal door
To escape another election year.
All news is stopped at the door by the guards
Whoever sit in the same place
Waiting
Always
Waiting to retrieve all banned goods
And outside time. 
Between med time and bed time is empty time
Where those evicted from their bodies
Are stuck staring at their feet.
But all have the midnight carousal 
Under their tongues
“If that bitch doesn’t give me my meds
I’m going to kick that door down.
Either that door will break or my leg will.”
The one mercy in the sexless hotel
Memories fall way, sooner or later. 
Memories of what building was torn down.
What now empty store front housed
The latest failure
Now lays in the darkened reminder of memory. 
And constant reminder of becoming 
what is left behind in the 
this is the city o
Of the buried 
and forgotten.
In their place every mind
Is fixed
With a retread with no memories at all
And setoff to the outside and the vacation ends.
But retreads always fall off and litter the roads
Before they re-enter to antiseptic air. 
Only letters are allowed past the guards
I can’t remember the last time a received 
A letter.
Its all emails
And telephone calls these days.
Perhaps this is how I lost my sense
Of anticipation.
When was the last time 
I sent a letter?
Inside
we all can sleep the sleep of the forgotten
Some of us have gotten our fill of the stars 
and prefer a ceiling to an indifferent sky
and the empty heavens.
All others from these ranks who never returned
have wandered beyond 
the light of day
into the trainless subway tunnels 
and into the fold 
of the disconnected brotherhood/sisterhood
of the mole people. 

The mole people
This is the real lost tribe of America
living beyond the reach of landlords 
and their thugs for hire.

For each there is no need to peer into the shadows
of yet another condo.
Their hidden jungle
is not of the Amazon
but the Subway system
where no natural light ever penetrates. 
The soul is the first
and cheapest thing
to leave behind.
 I’ve heard the tribe will let you in
as long as you mind
Your own business.
There are no eviction notices at these depths
Yet. 
Their moon comes 
with the thunder overhead 
from passing cars.


Those who wish to be forgotten,
stay forgotten 
and are certain to replace
the hopes for a headstone with that of a serial number
marked for a pauper’s grave. 
This is the wish of the shut in
to die nameless in their SROs
or over priced
one bed room pad
in Washington Heights.
(Hiding from who?)
Hiding from those they wish to forget.
A psychotic lover
whose love is serrated
and cuts too deep 
till it reaches bone. 
Their own home town
which they attempted to cut the tether to
in a desperate escape.
Or death.
Death is what comes too cheap for most
and too soon for some
or too late for all others.
But if you dance forever you will never die.

The Clocks

Here clocks talk to each other
Of all the collected hours
by those who live by the clock
or all who can exist in confined rooms
as a natural environment 
with a waiting bathroom down the hall
and one foot on the third rail
The shut in turns a blind eye to the amateurs 
who fear being forgotten
several stories down.

2

After all the deals are made
and all the SROs torn down
and those of us who grow tired of waiting for the eviction
notice to be handed down by a judge on the take
 have moved on
 or held our ground
and after all New York 
becomes “open for business”
every street becomes just another bizarre, 
and when those who have been out to sea for far too long 
and wish to return home
are met by closed port cities
with indifferent silence
(Even the circus of your life has moved on
long ago.
Do you care?
The noise of the carousals have become muted)

you can peer closely through the crowds
to see the better ghosts
among us
the last of the American Tribe
forever flailing in the
last light of late evening
fading.

Copyright © Matthew Abuelo | Year Posted 2016

Long poem by Robert Candler | Details |

The Doctor Is A Dead Man Walking

Bob had a special talent
That only worked in his men’s store.
He had ‘clothing ESP’.
He knew what his customers wanted…and more.

When customer would come into his store
Bob would invariably say, 
“Hello. I'm Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

And he was always right,
Never missed a color, fabric, style or size.
He even knew the necessary alterations.
Customers couldn’t believe their ears and eyes.

Meanwhile, in another part of town,
Joe had a pounding, relentless migraine
For every minute for more than five years,
It had driven him near insane.

He’d lost his job to the pain.
Then, he lost his wife.
He had lost a lot of weight and rarely slept.
Yes, his was a miserable life.

And, of course,  sex was out of the question…
Even a little self-abuse.
There was nothing left for Joe but pain.
He felt his life was of no use.

So, Joe went to his doctor.
“Doc, please help me end this pain.
Give me something to make me sleep
And never wake up again.”

“You know I can’t assist your suicide.”,
Then he looked sad, perhaps ashamed.
“I never dreamed it would last five years,
But I know how to end the pain.”

“You can make it go away?!
Tell me, Doc!  What’s the word?”
“I’ll have to remove your testicles.”
Was the last thing that Joe heard.

But…when he came to, it struck him.
Sex was out of the question anyway;
But he might enjoy his meals again,
And he could sleep for days.

“Please check me in, Doc.
This opportunity I cannot shirk.”
So, the doctor removed his testicles.
He did his very best work.

A few days later, Joe waddled along,
Headache free and feeling pretty nice;
But every attractive woman he saw 
Reminded him of his sacrifice.

He decided it was appropriate
To do something nice for himself for a change.
So, he went into a travel agency;
And a six month cruise he arranged.

As he left the travel agency,
He was excited, feeling ready to go;
But for such a glorious adventure,
He would need new clothes.

As he walked along, he saw Bob’s Men's Store.
He walked in, only to hear Bob say,
“Hello.  I’m Bob. Don’t say a word.
I already know what you need today.”

“How could you know?” asked Joe.
“It’s a gift.  I don’t know how, but I do.
You’ve suffered five years with an ailment,
Found relief, so now you’re taking a cruise.” 

Joe could not believe his ears.
How could this stranger possibly know?
"You're right! That's amazing!
And I'm going to need new clothes." 

Bob then laid out a fabulous wardrobe
All the right colors, fabrics, styles…and each size.
Joe was incredibly impressed.
He could hardly believe his ears and eyes.

“How do you like the wardrobe?”
“It’s wonderful!”  Bob could see that Joe was pleased.
“Now,” said Bob, “What about undergarments;
You know…shorts and tees?

Let’s see…medium crew neck tees, all cotton.
I believe that you prefer white….
And jockey shorts, all cotton…. 34s.
Yes, I'm sure that’s right.”

Joe beamed, “You’re an amazing talent
And I just this second realized,
You've laid out this entire wardrobe
And only missed one size.”

Bob, surprised by his mistake, asked, “Really?
What did I miss?  I did my best for you.”
“Well…you’re right.” said Joe, “I do wear Jockeys,
But…well…I wear 32s.

“Oh, no!” said Bob with an ugly grimace.
“That would be a serious mistake.
Thirty-twos will cramp your balls, 
You’ll get migraine headaches.”

Copyright © Robert Candler | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

In My Life - Quit Whistling the Blues, You Mockingbird

I’ll love you, even if you have strayed into the darkness Stop whistling the blues, you mockingbird – whistle with your might your marvelous tunes of accord and faithfulness! I love you from the bottom of the ocean to the heavens above I’ll love you – I won’t get over you and you’re my love at first sight – you were and still are a dazzling, surreal sight – you kiss me and I’m overwhelmed with passionate bliss I will love you if you would step out of the abyss with me I’m fearless to say that I used to bleed out remorse Before I met you…of course I used to cry myself asleep because I felt so alone Before I met you, I was on my own V.9: My heart bled with grief from the inside When I saw you, grief-stricken by the death of your friend My heart beats for you alone – you were always by my side Be sad and distressed no more – I will love you, even in the end My heart beat’s beating for you – you are such a thrill My heart aches for your love My heart thumps with victory and marvel I’m mesmerized by the mere sight of you – you’re as gracious and elegant as an angel above *chorus* I won’t give credit to myself for saving you from the flames of abominable, taunting fate – I want to say that I’ve unchained you from the death’s snare But, I must tell you someday, so that you’re aware That you are someone special in my heart – I can’t conceal the truth of what I feel for you deep inside In my life, in my life, I’m still stuck in the solitary cave In my life, in my life, I thought I wasn’t at all brave I was caved in by the cravings of my heart The darkness once ripped me apart But, you repaired me and I recovered pretty fast So, please listen up! I must tell you about my good and bad past Fear doesn’t exist here Get a grip on the rope of hope All anxieties are gone We dream on like daydreamers, awaiting another great, delight-illuminated dawn I’ll love you until my life is no more I’ll love you, even if you have strayed into the darkness I love you from the bottom of the ocean to the heavens above I’ll love you – I won’t get over you and you’re my love at first sight – you were and still are a dazzling, surreal sight – you kiss me and I’m overwhelmed with passionate bliss I will love you if you would step out of the abyss with me I’m fearless to say that I used to bleed out remorse Before I met you…of course I used to cry myself asleep because I felt so alone Before I met you, I was on my own V.10: We welcome the dawn with open arms – it will do you no harm Greet all positive, good news with happiness You are my lucky charms, my love – your hands are so, so warm Stop singing the blues…stop whistling the blues, you mockingbird – whistle with pure gladness Quit making us quarrel with madness!

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by Nina Mindova | Details |

Sea impression

                 
                 Wave a sea softened
                  and a pain and a tenderness
                   throw dreams in fascination
                   of the blue.
                   And let shave the waves of
                   Your eternity , oh, weigh
                    above me,
                    oh,weigh a  coast of years.
                    Carry far in azure, spiral
                    ships,
                    with bulging little abdomens,
                    flutter with mahagony pinions
                    and already in vain  expect you
                    to stop the scales harbours 
                    with hot flames for You are
                    open.
                    Far away, far away ,far away,
                    stretched string,
                    heart and frank await the 
                    hymn of June.
                    All sea sisters are dressed in
                    mother-of-pearl garment
                    embroidered of kiss of 
                    eternity. 
                    In the morning hunts them
                    fishermen and revive with
                    breath of their man’s hands.
                    In the evening girls wash 
                    their black tunics,
                    in their blue hearts,
                    their feet white ,who cadge
                    heavy chains.
                    The night is squeezed enigma
                    and ugly,
                    predatory like a bat pecking
                    of scarlet fig.
                    Sea sisters, sea sisters,
                    remember His steps 
                    which go through you noiselessly,
                  and ou swing like
                  bloody wine-
                 hold in His fingers Herod,
                 Pilate washes his hands,
                in Yours heirs
               and they bristled like winter
               icicles bristles of innoncent blood .
               There at Golgotha 
                hearing terrible cry,
                blood gushes like
               wounded river disappear
               like Easter roses,
              in weeds of flushed 
     preditory crowd,
     to open way of
     saving.
     Who is He?
     Do you heard 
     His name ?
     He is Messiah,
     God’s anoited
      Jesus Christ.
      Like little sheeps,
      clouds of candy floss,
      they welcome festivaly.
       Barefooted are feet 
      of lovely swarthy steps
     of the sun, came to bow,
      before You , Creator.
      The sea throws his 
       magnificent silver flesh,
      blue like heavently lace,
       to swallow all stars 
       only Bethlehem’s
      stays inextinguishable,
       pretty like uncreated
      like an apple of not 
      born girl.      

Copyright © Nina Mindova | Year Posted 2012

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

1 With Anguish

Thank you for your patient, kind bliss…
I want to make you happy, you see? 
I don’t want to hear you, speaking words of worthlessness 
I want to see you be free…you’re my cup of hot, sweet, iced tea 
Can’t you see? I loved you for so, so long…yet, I feel that it as more of an infatuation 
My condolences to you for missing your loved one…I wish you good luck… and I wish you brighter days and dreams of nostalgic-less, moving reality 

Though I’m one with anguish and bitter rue
I still feel for you…oh don’t be blue
I, as well, have lost my other shoe
I didn’t know how to help you; but, that’s nothing new
Weren’t you one with anguish too? 

Didn’t you know I as one with anguish?
Didn’t you feel me in your heart?
Didn’t you know that I as struggling? My only wish 
Is to be with you…from the start 
Didn’t you know I as one with anguish?
Didn’t you feel me in your heart?
Didn’t you know that I as struggling? 

My only wish 
Is to be with you…pound to the rhythm of my heart…
and...please...don’t rip my young heart apart 

Feeling you shatter out of nowhere…
I found myself, thinking of you…left here…
You sheltered me hen there as a rainstorm 
I was digging deep in the soil…like an earthworm 

Though I’m one with anguish and bitter rue
I still feel for you…oh don’t be blue
I, as well, have lost my other shoe
I didn’t know how to help you; but, that’s nothing new
Weren’t you one with anguish too? 

Didn’t you know I as 1 with anguish?
Didn’t you feel me in your heart?
Didn’t you know that I as struggling? My only wish 
Is to be with you…from the start 
Didn’t you know I as one with anguish?
Didn’t you feel me in your heart?
Didn’t you know that I as struggling? My only wish 
Is to be with you…pound to the rhythm of the drums that pound repetitively in my head minutes after midnight…breaking apart …drifting away in the death cart

Didn’t you feel my love tonight, baby? 
You’re as blue as the sinuous, despairing sea…
I’m the waves of emotions...please don’t pity me  
I didn’t know how to help you; but, that’s nothing new
I, as well, have lost my other shoe…but my happiness is as fresh and true as morning dew
I still feel for you…oh don’t be blue…or sick with the love flu 
Though I’m one with anguish…I’m the color black…white is what I lack…I’m the darkest hue of grey…boohoo…I was never apart of his crew…or her crew  

My condolences to you for losing your boyfriend… I feel bad for you…sadly…
I’m one with anguish…I feel your bleakness blanket over me w-wistfully 
Please…please hand me your love-kerchief, I don’t want your money, your fame, your success or your exhilaration…
I just want you… to spread your wings, like a bird, taking wing from on high for the very first time…soaring with triumph and anticipation

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by J. W. Earnings | Details |

sTrEsSsS

And now, I beat myself up for it...my mind is sky high with doubt and my body feels like a drought...dry with a lack of empathy and indulged in loathe and envy...I-I am upse
upset*
Forever in your lies debt
Don't leave me to die...
I am not your pet...
I won't take your orders
We're not crossing borders
Can you feel me when I cry
Feel...feel...feel...
I fell...fell...fell...
You left me without any comforting shoulders
In the hole of vibrantless farewells
i must endure till the end...
In hopelessness and fear of love and hope my mind and heart dwells
Around every damned bend
My heart bleeding out like a river
I feel like messy folders, left in the dusty office of nothingness...you stored me in a dark place I once called my "Heavenly Haven"
My memories make me shiver
Now, I drown in the tears of shame
You hunted me down like game...I was that animal, dead and lame
I was busy looking for heaven
But it was all the same
I'm untamed ...so unleash your inner inspiration and shower it down on me
Hell I remain in blinded by you but now i SEE
Now I'm drowning once again waiting to be saved in this lonely and deep dark sea
While you I left to be ever so free
That I've fallen way down...I've been weighed down...agony - the countless drops of despair and dismay -is what I stumble upon...I gave my heart a break...for heaven's sake and I've taken all that I can take...I drown in blasphemy's flames of uncertainty and toil of plenty
So on you so sneakingly flee
To a certain degree, you tried to set me free...free...from our own captivities...but failure kept pace with you...
I hope you can see...see...falling in love is only in fairy tales, you see?
You got love affection attention comfort and honesty but you never gave me any
Now from your actions you spun this deceitful web the reason I remain evver so blue
You outran me with your bottomless cheers and hopes...you lifted yourself up with your accomplishments
Like a shadow lost under a tree
You got me nowhere and no acheivements
I'm a fly, trapped in the web of bewilderment...and you wrapped me in woe-made worthlessness
Rapt in rue...
Sick of feeling blue
You drowned me
With your river of tears, you see?
You left me there to wither and fade away with nothing more than emptyness and hopelessness
On you were left to flee
Feeling hollow and doused in dismay...what can I say on a day like today? Did I ever make progress?
Why would the memories let me be
And on and on, you tell me you want to be free
You aren't free because you are spell-bound in your lusts and under the spell of sin
Yes on and on*
yet*
You blinded me by your lies and I thought you were the best but yu only brought stressssSSSSSS

Copyright © J. W. Earnings | Year Posted 2014

Long poem by Cat Way | Details |

Little boy

This small for his age little boy on his first day of school, with his little dinosaur backpack and new blue jeans and white t shirt. Mama said “Be sure to be careful to not to stain your shirt, especially at lunch cause I know how much you love your ketchup.” He stands with his head towards the ground letting his deep red hair cover his freckled face because he knows a whole new world is at his feet, the first day of many more first days to come for the next 13 years of his school life. He looks out among the many faces in the large, peeling blue paint room and his stomach twists into various size knots. He holds his lunch tray of pizza and milk with shaky hands, almost drops it twice just standing there. The roar of all the students and staff echo off the walls,  the security with their walkies and the kids laughing horribly loud make his nerves even more uneasy. He stands slightly slouched and bites on his lower lip, somethings hes done since infancy when he was feeling over whelmed.  He doesn't know what to do, or what he is allowed to do. Maybe go out to the play ground and hide in the big yellow tunnel slide or even in a bathroom stale till class started. One side of the cafeteria had larger children, the 5th graders, and the sizes of them decreased as you moved your sight to the right  of the room. There was no order to where you had to sit, it was just every grade sort of stayed with each other, the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th graders all grouped together, maybe they were afraid to venture out of their safe zones. After 5th grade you go to the bigger school, they call it middle school which is not the scariest cause after that you have high school and everyone says its a nightmare. He looks down at his feet and knows he looks like a fool just standing there for how ever long he has been, which was much to long. He didn't see any of his classmates, maybe there was a special spot just for his grade somewhere that will accept him with open arms . Even if he did he didn't know any of their names and none of them seemed to care for his. They wouldn't play with him at recess or be his partner in gym, nobody even wanted to sit by him at carpet time. They all gave
him the cold shoulder, you could see the sadness on his face every time you had to have a partner for a activity. As if he was about to burst out in heavy tears, his face would get red and he would hold his tummy as if cringing in pain. He is a coward and returns to the class room to eat his now cold food with the teacher and be forever known as the teachers pet, all because the lack of self confidence in that small child in that small moment in time, in the ocean of seats in the room with the peeling paint.

Copyright © Cat Way | Year Posted 2012

Long Poems