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Best Nonsense Poems

Below are the all-time best Nonsense poems written by Poets on PoetrySoup. These top poems in list format are the best examples of nonsense poems written by PoetrySoup members

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New Nonsense Poems

Don't stop! The most popular and best Nonsense poems are below this new poems list.

Complete nonsense by Feeson, Gretl
Trouble In Nonsense Alley by Smith, Tim
engaged nonsense by Purdum, Fritz
No sense, Nonsense by Davies, Ivor
Easter in Nonsense Alley by Shaw, Kimberly
Nonsense Alley by Ellison, Jack
Nonsense Tantrum by Wulf, John
Sadness at Nonsense Alley by Wulf, John
She talked a lot of nonsense by CHAKRABARTY, RAJAT KANTI
Just A Bit Of Nonsense - Honestly by Biden, Rob

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The Best Nonsense Poems

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Hogwash

Twas a fine October morning,
one September, last July!
The moon lay thick upon the ground,
the mud shone in the sky!

The flowers sang so sweetly,
the birds were in full bloom!
As I hurried down the cellar steps,
to sweep the upstairs room!

The time was Tuesday morning,
on Wednesday, just at night!
I saw ten-thousand miles away,
a house, just out of sight!

Its doors projected backwards.
The front was at the back!
It stood alone, between two more,
and it was whitewashed black!

Amen

More great poems below...


Details | Nonsense Poem | |

WILLY NELSON

Willy Nelson
I heard he died last night
He was singing on the road again
He should have picked another song!

6-1-15

Not a Clerihew and pure fiction.. 
A word play off his famous song :)

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

A CountryWestern Song

The Drinkin Thinkin Song

>chorus

Darlin...

the reason I’m drinkin’ to forget... I can’t remember!
But I know it happened last June...or was it...September?
I can’t recall at all but surely it’s true...
                                                               ooh, ooh, ooh; ooh, ooh 
>spoken

Baby, if I’m drinkin’ to forget...
                                            it’s got somethin’ to do with YOU.

>refrain
                                                                        
Many things, like...

the first time when we first met —
me and a buddy had a bet...
Could I make it past your loaded second base?

Now, I sure had a thrill, 
while going’ in for the kill... 
until you smashed that bottle on my face!

Oh...and then...

there was our joyful weddin’ day.
You happy; Junior…on his way.
The first time you was late—right after our first date  
was the time I got all wrapped up in my fate!
 
                                      (your daddy’s shotgun sure made that a hot one)

Ah...but

how the years rush by…like dust in the wind.
Our make-ups make more babies — cousins for our kin.
My folks, they sure love you, but your folks do abhor— 
                             
the day my big old shadow, darkened their front door!

                                     (did I really say fat fanny about your old granny?)
>Bridge

You got me on the spot,
I forgot and you went squat,
it’s a damn primordial sin,
the toilet your tush fell in!

So I’m sittin’ here in this bar,
wonderin’ who made you the star,
starin’ holes in a bottomless glass
wonderin’ why I should kiss your a**!

But there is no doubt about it,
and to the world I'll shout it,
the reason I love you, I think…
you give me a damned good reason to drink!

>chorus

So Darlin....

The reason I’m drinkin’ to forget...I can’t remember!
But I do know it’s huntin’ season…in late December.
I can’t recall at all but surely it’s true…
                                                           ooh, ooh, ooh; ooh, ooh
>spoken

Baby, if I’m drinkin’ to forget...
                                               it’s got somethin’ to do with YOU.


                                                       (the boys in the bar think I’m a star)
~~~

Huh?  Wha’s that, buddy? She is?  Here?!! OH SH**!!
~~~
Well hello Darlin...
Wha’s that, baby?

No, baby, I never met that woman before...
ouch, ouch, stop that!
no baby, she just sat down on the stool next to me...

Oh, sweetheart, can’t we talk this over?

Say what?

The reason I can’t remember ain’t got a damn thing to do with September?
Could it be true? 
Wha?  
Nothing to do with you?

Ouch!!! Stop that darlin’ !!

Baby, you’re makin’ me look bad...

Leggo my ear!!!

Sweetheart...I  L O V E  you, baby!
~~~

Yeah, I’m comin’
Yeah baby...I know
Yeah, yeah, yeah

trash is full,
baby needs a new pair of shoes...
GD toilet is plugged...
New furniture!!!  What’s the matter with..

~~~

I’ll see you later boys...

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

FOR MEN ONLY TWO - girls, no peeking

Boys, we gotta have a chat. Maybe over your way things are where they’re at… just like you like ‘em! Oh, she brings your beer, scratches your ear, wiggles her rear… and things are really, really good! But be honest boys. Do you play with her toys and does she make...noise? The way you thought she would? I mean, when we guys do the laundry, isn’t it a joy fondling her big machines? Yeah...it may be a ploy:-( But really men... it’s a piece of cake. Put the dirties in the tank and take yourself a break! The buzzer rings the dinger dings, move ‘em to the dryer just be sure to take the frillies out... before they catch on fire! Remember what I said? It’s a piece of cake! Until you hear those dreaded words... which make the man-cave quake!!! “Did you FOLD the laundry, dear?” Honey!!! Sweetie!!! Darling!!! What about permanent press? What about those great big drawers? NO, honey...not yours! I mean the ones in the “amoire*.” (*Sometimes those fancy words work on ‘em, you know that!) Now be honest boys you’ve had the lesson too on how to fold those clothes, next to girls...it’s mystery number two. How come all the labels say wash in hot or cold? Use the bleach or don’t, but not a single BLEEPING word...on how to do the fold!!! So she always folds her clothes, her way, after I am through. Makes me feel quite manly, ‘cause I fold my clothes, my way... what else can I do? But when I don my T-shirts with those silly slogans on the rear the wrinkles I’ve created make my best lines disappear! Boys... We’ve got it figured out at our house I hope that you do too. btw...Those creases she insists upon? Give me a better view.

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Nonsense

Nonsense! 

The midnight hour, 
In the middle of the day,
The sun was shining, 
It was dark and grey.

The wind was howling, 
It was quiet and still
Fit as a fiddle, 
I felt quite ill.

The doctor came, 
He didn’t arrive, 
It was two in the morning 
At half passed five.

He stood in the corner, 
Sitting on a chair,
He was totally bald, 
With long black hair.

He got out his pen,
And started to type,
He left straight away
And he stayed all night.

He said your fine,
There’s something wrong,
You’ve caught a little dose
Of the nonsense song.

More great poems below...


Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Met-a-Four

“Met-a-Four”


I “met a four”
when I was three
and oh the things
it did to me
and fingers counting
one-two- three.
When the four
brought in a five
all my counting fingers
came alive.
Reaching for the
other hand
said “times two”
is oh so grand.
They ran through
six, then seven – eight
danced with the nine
to celebrate.
Then the quantum leap
to ten
and shouts of 
let’s do it again.
Somehow the
ones and two and threes
increase in size
exponentially.
Still, my fingers are
mathematically smitten
seeking warmth
within a mitten.


John G. Lawless
12/4/2014

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

My weakness

        GOD

Wondrous of many blessings.
Smiling never a frown.
My prayers, Lord, are  suddenly being ignored.
I've taken a tumble of  fallen down
Lord, my life was plain and simple  
How did it come to this?
Lord, now I carry a  burden so deep
A torn up life not easy to fix
Hard to get my prayers before I sleep
Bleeding only internally!
Feeling very minutely!
God, have you deserted me or is it me who deserted you?

God, my Lord, my savior, how could you abandon me?
Must I drown in my own sorrow?
Must I wake up like this today and tomorrow.
Why have you left me, or is it me who left you?

God, I need you like never before.
When I wake up,
When I head out the door.
Tormented in a mood ring of stock
Heavily my tears hit the floor.
God, do you not feel me, or is it me who no longer feel you?

God, what is your plan for me?
What things did I not see?
I asked for you to forgive me in my ways of sin.
Why do you let him provoke me?
Lord, I forbid for him to win.
Relieve me from his gutless pain.
God, do you not believe me, or is it me who no longer believe in you?

God, do you not hear my call
My pitiful excuses make me weak and small
In your eyes, I no longer feel tall
I remain cursed in every single fall
Lord, only you can break this wall
Do you not see me on my knees
Must I beg and crawl?
I am at your mercy, crying out with grief
Open the path to the lighted hall
O' Lord, the day you judge me before your throne
Please tell me it was a lesson for me to stand up on my own
God for now I will end this talk
With the dignity to never look back
I ask if you were there on my endless journey of a relentless walk?

By:PD

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

SATAN OSCILLATE MY METALLIC SONATAS

*****To the naked EYE, this poem may seem like gibberish,
but I assure you it is loaded with 24 palindromes,
3 palindrome phrases, 1 hidden palindrome phrase,
and is chock full with enormous wordplay...
oh and one more palindrome in this description. 
Can you find more? I challenge you word freaks!*****


____SATAN OSCILLATE MY METALLIC SONATAS____

Last night, around eleven or so, I decided to paint a pink castle.
To my dismay, on display, is what looks more like a pink asshole.
Picasso would've been so proud!
Today, upon recording nothing short of a colossal debacle,
I've chosen to
utilize the eyes of a hostile apostle.
Tossing docile scribble, I'm scribing.
Describing life like a diatribe conniving REVIVER at a revival.

LIVE EVIL!

Palindrome EYE to the side of my tribe.
Get in line, standing at the hands of HANNA.

PULL UP.

RISE AND VOTE SIR!

EYE
LEVEL 
to 
NUN'S
BOOB.

WOW!

We OTTO-matically 
POP a PEEP at NOON!
DAD got so damn mad he DID the DEED
and split three XANAX with his MADAM and MOM!
(ALA the ABBA GIG way back in them AHA kookie KOOK days)

So anyways...
Back to peek hassle!
Do ya' think he might like ta' take a stab at my STATS?


*****(this was fun as fun can be:
hope you have half as much fun with it as I did:)*****

~JSLambert

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Just doesn't add up

Pythagoras once fell off a ladder
And landed on a venomous adder
This adder couldn't add
Calculus made it sad
Algebra and theorems made it madder.

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

I came Across A Jumpher

I came across a Jumpher
A jumphin’ up at me.
It wasn’t very springy
As far as i could see.

It tried to do someothersault,
Impressing like a tree,
But landed with a thumping thud
And hurt his only knee.

‘How come you like to ravel so?’
I bellied like a navel,
While on the other hand i plied
Some custard on a table.

‘I’m only giving all I’ve got-
A hundred miles an hour.
But if you take it at a trot
It soaks you with a shower.

‘I see,’ i said, came out my head,
And nodding fully clothed,
I asked if he’d seen Ninnynook?
A nose that knows no prose.

‘I likes to smell his gravy soup.’
He jumphered like a sweater,
Then driving like a five wheeled horse
Left home wrapped in a letter.

‘Good luck, you leaphing lunging loon.’
I mouthed in Granny’s gums
Then smiling like a holiday
I went to see my chums.

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Spooks were making love



                  Spooks were making love their bones were clattering
                       Fresh in after death sex they were a prattling
                                 They missed the first session
                                   How to spook the passion
                 And slipped to their graves skulls down saber rattling










          Spooks were making love© Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 14 November 2014

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Granny had a yellow cat


                            Granny had a yellow cat Matty Sand-arum
                       She was fond of Cherry Blossom and bubblegum
                                       Cherry ached in her tummy
                                          Bubble is double balmy
                   She yelled out scummy gummy and fell into the scum











    Granny had a yellow cat/Limerick©Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty 18 November 2014

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

if Need Be Norbert

If need be Norbert you could now
The asphyx of my flowers plough-
The silence of your boom aswell
Would hyde within my tree so well.

And in this ill of looking glass
As is assumed to all that pass,
I’d reach inside my top and cry,
‘Oh Leary, what a thing am I?’

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Mongrels of Mischief: An Introduction into Mischief Pt 1

It was somewhere in Cambridge, when the amalgam of substances 
began to cloud our judgment. 
The changes were between vague and blatantly obvious, but 
we were masters at this terrifying craft. 
A small dose of opiates added with  
at least two beers causes a distorted reality. 
Nothing too off the wall except for the truth in knowing 
you can’t fly among the stars above the mortals. 
Four misguided miscreants let loose upon the England populous. 
God help poor Britannia! 

Usually at the helm of this godforsaken voyage, was Tony. 
His plans were often of ridiculous proportions 
many which either involved an attractive woman or 
a ruckus full of dangerous consequences.  
 A vulgar yet honest vagrant.
Dante was a force to be reckon with. 
Not only did he talk a big game, but he also delivered. 
He was a Ciroc and Patron connoisseur with a
knowledge of the appropriate attire for any occasion.
A savant of the good life. 
Rico was small but dangerous. 
A mellow individual with words cool enough 
to give the devil a cold shoulder. 
The cool head amidst our savage expeditions 
except when the spirits possessed him 
causing a unique transformation. 
A human wrecking ball of loose inhibitions. 
Finally, there was me. 
A laid back but slightly eccentric hedonist. 
Forever seeking for any instant gratification and 
always serving a dish of offbeat worldly wisdom to the masses.
An aimless joker who does what he please. 

The streets of Cambridge are gruesome at night. 
All types of freaks, monsters and nutcases 
under the guise of party addicts fiending for the next fix. 
We were just like these misfits
 only further down the rabbit hole.  
What seemed like a stroll into the seedy nightlife 
soon became a submersion into another dimension. 

Our mannerisms became over exaggerated. 
The pleasant embrace of euphoria was as if
the good Lord touched the depths of our souls. 
Warmth, peace and relaxation….
Tranquility of mind, body and spirit… 
A transcendence into Nirvana… 
Thanks to the sweet nectar from 
the land of milk and honey. 
Mother of God, this was amazing! 
This is a high we didn’t want to come down from! 
To onlookers we were madmen; 
a product of the uncanny side of the spectrum.  
However, little did they know 
we were gods among mortals.




Our illuminating vibe attracted a 
group of voluptuous women. 
In this instant, Tony decided to seize the moment.
Using charms only he could apply, he 
stated a question: “Hey! What that mouth do?”  
The lovely raven-haired woman of the group 
responded with an immediate action of a lustful kiss. 
It was a mixture of seductive and sensuous 
with a spontaneous flair. 
The woman replied, “That’s what my mouth does.” 
Tony was at a loss for words. 
I had full belief this woman was a man-eater. 
Somehow with a simple kiss she managed 
to swallow Tony whole. 
After the encounter, the group vanished 
within the night.  


Cheshire cat grins encompassed 
our faces. 
Even though this event was minor, 
we knew it was the beginning to a series 
of outlandish events. 

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

BOODLE FIGHT - Anotha Thrilla in Manila

ATTENTION PLEASE!

Nonsense Alley has been challenged by the Queen of a Thousand Isles to a BOODLE FIGHT! A chance to showcase styles.
After we stroll the carpet we’ll shed our bling and rings… ensnare, engage, engorge, on suckled, fishy things with craven clawing hunger, we’ll attack with mouths and fingers, with vic’try to the strong... the scent of battle lingers. BOODLE FIGHT! a visual feast to sate the beast, spread under covers, near the Far East.
Will the Saucy Sampaguita prevail? —you may wager the consequence — Or will she indeed surrender, to the KING of all NON-SENSE? Perhaps...it will end in draw. Combatants crashed cruelly on crusted carpet, tapestries intertwined, intensely splendored, and tangling tainted hands Succumbed to the desire-raged frenzy, having danced down danger until sweat-drench exhausted and reeking of passion well spent.
~~~ Please Note: this event is a free-speech free-for-all open to everyone — EXCEPT those who refuse to smile. A production of Nonsense Unincorporated in cahoots with Thousand Island Entertainment Inc. Tickets to this event available at PS.com or wherever tickets to life’s vagaries are exploited for FREE! NEVER PAY FOR NONSENSE!!! That would be, duh! — NONSENSE! Satisfaction guaranteed or double your nonsense back. disclaimer: devoid or uninhibited where humor may be present. Not recommended for children over the age of one-hundred-ten. Few restrictions apply. Failure to grasp the depth of nonsense in express is insufficient grounds for redress. Side effects may be present (we hope) and include smiles, giggles, guffaws, laughter, disgust, and, in extremely rare cases — apoplexy. Reviews from previous NU promoted Boodle Fights: “I like a rigid outdoor experience, topped with a boodle fight to satisfy my hunger!”— A. Fan “Nothing salacious about it, just good messy fun!” — I. B. Hog “Couldn’t stop drooling.” — Ima Pervert Special thanks to our sponsors: POETRY SOUP, YAY! Quest for Sanity, Inc World Reality Theatre Life, the Movie

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Dolly had a scarlet doll

                                          Dolly had a scarlet doll
                                        In the summer it could roll
                                             Last fall a blunder
                                           Doll gulped a thunder
                                       She messed up all in a ball












        Dolly had a scarlet doll: Limerick: Copyright © Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
                                           17 November 2014

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

LAND OF KOALAROACHES



                            Fond of the Koalas and scared of the roaches
                             She was shot to the land of Koalaroaches 
                                        First thing she could do
                                           Bopeep peekaboo  
                          Koalas said "hey buddies someone encroaches"      











                                   Land of Koalaroaches: Limerick
                                            17 November 2014

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Rhubarb

I put my shoes on back to front
to step into the past,
sent my watch by express mail
to make the time go fast.
Wrote 'atom' down as 'mtao'
just to generate unclear fusion,
told my friends I wasn't there
but an optical illusion.
Put my head on upside down
for a thicker head of hair and no beard,
when you can't think of topics for a piece of verse, then
what the hell- 
do weird.

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Dragon Alert - DWTS

Drago’s gone to Hollywood, land of fancy cars,
Gonna crash a party — Dancing With the Stars.
It’s his favorite TV show, watching twirlers whirl,
You can surely guess, his favorite dancing girl.

Sharna Burgess. Duh!  It’s a redhead every time.
Chasing Reds will kill him!  Way before his Prime.
That’s exactly what his favorite uncle said.
“But wait a minute” Drago says, “Uncle Jack’s not dead!”

Point well taken Drago, but this we know is true,
taking after Uncle Jack is nothing you should do.
This we also know though, Uncle Jack is not in jail,
but not for lack of trying, and breaking hearts along the trail.

REAL DRAGON’s headed there! (If the rumor’s true)
Is he after Rumor Willis? (He likes her daddy too)
But if he’s chasing Sharna things will get their worst.
Sharna will belong to the dragon gets there first.

(They think!)    But, maybe not, you know?
The Stars are already matched, with pretty dancing pros.
I think if those two Dragons make it on the show
Dancing With the Stars will be “Dancing on Some Toes.”



Details | Nonsense Poem | |

A Fine Flavor between lines

Is it Love
a simple bowl of ice cream
sweating from the heat
cherries on the top
huddled 'round and looking sweet
two little wooden paddles
pretend that they are spoons
as we sit beneath the stars
in the savor of the moon
your lips are all I see
as they caress them with a passion 
the cherries on your tongue
in a delightful playful fashion 
with our eyes intent and focused
in a stare of solemn trust
Is this ice cream truly love
or is it merely cherry lust

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

EmotionLess

      EMOTIONLESS

By morning wake
When the light in my face
I'm reminded of your disgrace!

How can I do this to myself?
How I wish Calgon would take me away?
Will I ever wake like the melody of the Blue Jay?

What am I suppose to do?
Shut myself down from this misery?
Emotionless, because I am too weak to be strong

It's my fault for inviting
-he that dropped my heart from cloud nine
Well, I have nothing else to say.
Except, "life has no meaning, and here I am GONE!"
Emotionless

SKAT

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Golden Dreams

The Leprechaun.

. 
Run, run, run as fast as you can...
I'm still gonna get you, my little green man...
I grabbed on to the gold buckle on his waist...
I held him down, with no time to waste...
I tied The Leprechaun to a hollow tree,
Broke off a branch and poked him on the knees.
I kept on poking him with a stick.
I kept nagging him to reveal his magic trick.

This little shamrock kid would not break.
He kept insisting THE LEPRECHAUN legend was fake.

This little odd dwarf kept lying about his mythical pot of gold. 
I kept repeating all the stories I've been told..  
Nagging him and nagging him~ FOR HIS POT OF GOLD!
He lied, about the fables, telling me his gold does not exist...
The Leprechaun refused to hear the clover list...


**** 

It's been 7 days!
And, still he won't give up, what's at the end of the rainbow. 
Tickling his little Eskimo toes,
Running feathers underneath his nose. 
"Look you little green treasure troll, I've captured you, and demand the gold!"
"You won't get me with your tricks!"
"So don't even try to outwit me with your silly MAGIC!" 

I suppose his silver-tongue, will have to do,
And the little gold buckles on his shoe.
I got tired of trying to make him see, my point of view.
I got a better deal and trade for a monkey at the zoo.
Now the lions are enjoying a Pot of Leprechaun Stew. 
After All! 
Nothing I did, made him unfold.
All I wanted was his pot of gold!

by;pd

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Mouse-Pig

I have a fat and furry friend
All pink and spotty black.
I grew him from some Camembert-
The smelly little Rat!

He is my very Mouse-Pig
For that’s his very name, 
Sometimes I call him Roger 
Just like his steptwin Shane. 

I like to give him all I can
Though humble poor are we.
I gave him a good character- 
2 slices for his tea. 

I love my little Mouse-Pig 
I love him like a pet. 
Sometimes I take him out for walks 
And sometimes to the vet.

I dare not let him venture far 
For fear he won’t come back. 
Last week he almost wandered off 
Without his packymac. 

‘You’ll catch your death- or even worse!’ 
I warned in worried tone. 
‘There’s things out there what likes to eat 
A Mouse-Pig far from home. 

‘Don’t worry Dad,’ he answered back 
In usual piggy chatter. 
‘If anyone should have a go 
I’ll cover them in batter!’ 

Then all at once, without a sound 
He sang with all his might. 
I’ve never heard a Mouse-Pig 
I said in wondrous sight.

‘That’s nothing Pa,’ he mouthed in tune, 
And leaping to his trotters
Declared as he flew flying off-
I’ll show those dirty rotters!’

‘Farewell my fat and furry friend,’
I bellied to the sky,
And turning one last time he squeaked,
‘I’m off to find my sty.’

And then he flew right out of sight, 
As far as I could see, 
And with a little shedding tear 
I went in for my tea. 

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Don't Read This Sober

Twas a fine October morning,
one September, last July!
The moon lay thick upon the ground,
the mud, shone in the sky!
The flowers, were singing sweetly
and the birds were in full bloom!
As I, walked down the cellar steps,
to sweep the upstairs room!
The time was Tuesday morning,
on a Wednesday, just at night!
I saw ten thousand miles away, 
a house just out of sight!
The door projected backwards,
the front, was at the back!
It stood alone, between two more,
and it was whitewashed black!

Sorry, Soupers, I just had to
get that out of my system!

Details | Nonsense Poem | |

Lucky Numbers 2, 10, 24, 65, 93

You don’t know this but
we’re all ISBN’s. At birth,
we’re tattooed across our asses
with barcodes, ID tags, social security numbers.
The only doctors allowed
to perform this surgical move
were trained in suits and sunglasses,
were handcuffed to computer suitcases,

held galas in mansions in the hills
of Virginia, roamed secretly through tunnels
beneath Abe Lincoln’s feet, they infiltrated
every hospital, mandated staff to hand over
the key cards. Don’t be alarmed.

Chocolate brownies can still
hold good dreams, peanuts, and marijuana.
This information should not stop you,
you wondered before about those
seven digits printed across the tops of your pay stubs,
didn’t you? And the 48906 signature on every document
from your university.

Yes, you see now. All along,
that tattoo on your soul numbers destiny:
one of the numbers stands for the birthday
of your child, one for the day your parents will find
cancer sinking its teeth in their osteoperostic bones,
and one lists the street address of the building
you will die in. The hospital’s phone number
is merely a set of numbers. Ask them

what they’ve done to you, and they’ll shrug
their white-collar shoulders.


To view this poem on my blog, visit http://wordsareaneed.blogspot.com/2014/12/lucky-numbers-2-10-24-65-93.html.