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Feel it in the air by Duffy, Alex
Touch Me Touch Me I Wanna Feel Your Body by vaso, arthur
Feel Me by Chircop , Charmaine
Feel His Presence by Roper, Eve
Say What You Feel by Waldeck, Mary
This is how i feel by vergara, fernando
The Only Thing You Feel by Pinet, Emile
What My Brothers Feel by Mast, Reynaldo
What I Feel by sansom, gael
How you make me feel by Almonds, Francesca

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The Best How I Feel Poems

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

No Reservation

You Are Not Invited

--Latching onto my soul without an invitation--
Elements around my shore expose more than air
--Playing with fire is not a game you will win--

----
Silently she swarms in like a leech, 
Feeding and sucking from the wounds my pain left behind.
She came inside: "Uninvited!"
Here have a drink, and die!
Taste the water drips that sail across my lips 
Plodding vigorously in the open air of her unwanted hostility
Forbidden as one, I noticed her aura a sickening light
Imprisonment that haunted smoke around her own imperfections
The hate and envy, she lives in resides airborne
The sound that she have summoned up hunger  
Brought me near the edge of everything
Feel my pain, a touch of impurities    
Tainted, infected, poisoned passion, her face disguised
Surrender toward serenity, the lighthearted woman I am inside 
She will never take, my full eternal grace
It’s time to reveal that blazing fire I hide
Drown her from the false flown sorrows of gust
Hold her hideous head under water--- burn her false fire out

Never will I turn my back and watch her muster them broken lids
Lungful of lies poisons the wind that flows from her snake like voice
Maneuvering the skies, scheming that snatch in
Like a viper twisting its unmatched curves, 
I strike, like a pyromaniac  --A burning match 
Allowing her to taste a part of the air I breathe 
A waste in the breeze her insecurities 
Trying to destroy what she can't be, what she can't see
At the end, blustery weather will remind her of the sea inside me,

YOU! The Angel, who crawls around like a shadow
Gorging its way into the heart with a charm of greed
Twisting reality hoping nobody sees its true sick identity
Slandering my name as the master of evil and manipulative
Marking my territory, warning others of a cold draft
Grasping the beauty that glows from my soul 
There it stood on the ledge UNINVITED
The devil walked and took my shoes 

:)

More great poems below...


Details | How I Feel Poem | |

The Fallen Poet

(The Fallen Poet)

Shadows, fall from the east
Winter show, white meadows,
Compelling words lost, in a silent world
Beautiful, Bloomingdale is how it goes
Apocalypto-- my very own limbo
Alone in a field of corpses-
A field of men, women and broken pens, 
Images of angels fallen to their knees

A pace of space, where--
The sun became a wasted disease
The more I prayed the worse I felt,
Lord, I came before you- broken from head to toe

Heaven sees through, the secret inside
Lost I may be, yet you see
Offended me, I no longer sing
I wait till all is asleep
My ink is dry, a broken poet, with nowhere to go
Lost in the shadows of snow, frozen like ice
A sheet of paper, with no meaning, no words

My friends, my comrades, how easily one forgets

Like a game of chess, I panicked
Made all the right and wrong moves
I lost my way, staggered across
Love comes and love goes
My heart weaker than, weak
I don't know how I survived before, 
After turning the other cheek
I was no longer whole, forsaken myself endlessly 
I was lost, could not even count on myself

Guidance, I ignored no one believed what's become of me
Secretly, I stood in my old footsteps after falling down

At times end, I found nothing could put me back where I belong
It's time to get back on offense,
Walk through the new, refreshing old footprints

~.~

(A Collaboration) 

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

I Share My Soul

A pair of morning doves preen and prim,
snuggled close on their favorite limb.
And cooing low wake a sleeping sun,
giving praise for a new day begun.

A slip of a ghostly moon rides low,
wearing its light like a pale halo.
And Sol ascends master of the day,
piercing dark with a brilliant display.

Vapors shed crystalline tears on grass,
depositing dewdrops clear as glass.
And blooming flowers imbue the air,
with a fine fragrance beyond compare. 

Tall, lanky palms of feathery leaf,
are clad in a green southern motif.
And skittish crabs play tag with the waves,
darting about their collapsing caves. 

Sipping fine wine we enjoy the show,
greeting the day with a happy glow.
For as romance and nature combine,
I share my soul with my Valentine.

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Sleeping With The Enemy

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

See what you want to see
Don't Look at me!
You are staring you are watching;
Eat what you can't be

Come sleep by my side
The whole world is our playground
Don't make a sound
Stop clowning around

In the mist of the night,
You keep me from crying

I wipe off the taste of your lips
You kiss me starting at my inner hips
You broke me in a way..
I hate to say your love is better every day 
I deny you, the one thing I can't say

You are my pillow
Where I rest my legs,
Can you feel me~
This moment feels right
I just want to die here, 
Die here ~ 
Die here by your side

I sleep with my eyes wide open,
I sleep with the enemy by my side
Come here and hold me
After you watched my worlds collide
Come here and love me
I'm yours till the end of time
You can rock me!
Under the moon and its rhyme
I put it all to a side, how I hate you inside
I can't let go
I just want you to know
I'm a fool in love with you
Even if it doesn't show!

~SKAT~
12- 7- 10

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

bloody wrists

I'm sitting on the floor
I'm crying so much more
trying to erase this pain
trying to forget your face
sitting here with the blade in my hand
running so slow blood dripping down
in a deep red color
flowing freely the way i want to feel

I'm sitting on the floor 
holding my hand out
I'm holding a bottle
a bottle filled with pills
I'm crying so hard
the pain is unbearable
I'm feeling so weak 

I'm sitting here on this floor 
holding a blade
crying like crazy
trying to take this pain away
I'm trying my best trying to fight
my eyelids feel heavy
my door is so far
the whispered yells to far
falling deep in to sleep

deep..deep..deep..deep
I'm laying on a bed
I'm so confused 
where am i?
my throat feels sore
my body screams in pain
I'm looking around
I'm in a small white room

i try to move,
my hands are stuck
i try to get up
i feel restraints 
what happened to me?

I'm laying on a bed
trying to get up
my head hurts
a nurse is here
a shot is administered 
i drift to sleep
I'm in the psych ward
why am i here?

I'm lying on a bed
laying so still 
my wrists hurts to no end
I'm crying out loud
screaming and cussing
my body hurts
i can't remember

all i remember are my bloody wrists
and a bottle of pills
all i remember is the pain i was in.....




More great poems below...


Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Toilet Bowl Committee

Toilet Bowl Committee (aka: Uptown Hood)

A lavatory confinement
my$h!tdontstinkcomode.com
---
If you want to moderate this place, pick up the pace
From the mouth down to the @$$
Your so called kind has no class,
Fed by these political rejects, never elected for what was!
No matter,
They wipe their assets clean with our dreams
Forgetting to wipe their own toilet seats clean
Trying to make us feel dirtier than scat
Feeding off our paper when their toilet bowl water level is low

Toilet bowl PO-poes, wiping without dental floss
Missing everything in between reality
Trying to be kind, saying "One Day We'll Be Good Enough!"
Offering their Golden Plunger, straight from the Home Depot shelves
No Thank You! My plunger a true gift from Mr. Wal-Mart himself

Next time you feel the need to offer a reference point
Please caption your name when you drop by,
Rinse thoroughly when speaking my name,
Then I will listen when you talk civilized
Correct my punctuations and spelling errors 
The weakest trait you wear
You are no Prophet, just white tissue turning brown
Your Justification comes from old dried up grapes falling from the vines
Ridicule will never give you the respect, for what you are!
We, the few poets from the hood, overpowers any change you offer Goodwill
Crumbling and flushing what does not meet your standards
Trying hard to force feed us soup, without giving us bibs

Thank you
Toilet Bowl Committee
For clogging up my drain with your bull$h!T


By: Keeping it Real (The Downtown Hood) 
Date: 12-15-13

~A Poet Destroyer Collaboration~

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

SWEET ISLAND GIRL

Early morn
Birds still sleep
Crickets warm
Not a peep
Coffee in hand
Dreams are free
Thinking of you
Thinking of me
Last night's prayer 
Has made it here
Rain soaked skies
Begin to clear
And what I see
On distant shore
Sweet Island girl
I long for more
Hear your heart
We are in tune
I love you so 
I'm coming soon

Contest: Craig's "Lyrics Again"
Date: 9-9-14

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

The Hardening of a Heart

How long does it take
for a heart to harden?
for muscles to loose
that supple tone
to lose elasticity
to become...stone?

How long does it take?
I wonder
But I know
your heart has hardened
I never would believe it to be true
No, not you
Not...YOU
Your heart was my home
the soft walls my comfort
the rhythmic squeeze my treasure, my pleasure

But your heart has hardened 
Turned...to stone
But even a stone would hear my cry
a stone would shed a tear
a stone would soften
with the beating of my breast against it
with the deluge of my tears wetting it
with my sobs moving it
a stone would hear
and come to life
to quiet my inner strife
but not your heart
NO, Not YOU!
Your heart is stone
I wonder if it yet beats
and why do I write this poem?
Perhaps you will see
Perhaps you will read
Perhaps you will be softened
and bleed

I write because...
My heart yet beats
for you...

Eileen M Ghali

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

A Poetic Caress

I write of things that are real,
yet can be hard to express.
And encourage hearts to feel,
with a poetic caress.

My pen interrogates pain,
to try and explain the hurt.		
And redefines what is sane,
by exposing all the dirt.
	
My poems describe feelings,
from first breath to death's embrace.
And shattering glass ceilings,
vindicate pride and disgrace.

My words reach out to a few,
going beyond expected norms.
And challenge their point of view,
through rhyme or established forms.

My compassion knows no bounds,
dissecting anguish and tears.
And my fragmented heart pounds
exhuming dead dreams and fears.

My soul pools in broken hearts,
as it leaks upon the page.
And anxiety departs,
from the heart of this old sage.

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Her Masterpiece Is Her Story

Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.

One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.

She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?

No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.

Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.

Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.

She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.

She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.

Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...

That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.

Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.

Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.

This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.

Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.

She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.

He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.

Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people, 
who saw her cries for help.

And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.

She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.


Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Insanity or Death

Insanity or Death

Life begins with insanity~~
~Your soul is kicking and screaming, 

Ready to exit with the touch of human hands.
Insanity rides on a gallant stallion ready to pant.
Hides in the mind, mourning its captive soul. 
Ready to breach over holding its breath.
Projecting in and out without a guide.
Bites away at the feast, enchants for freedom.  
From the lips……….....
Taking length against a world of dilemmas, 
Contrasting to a never happy end.
The epidermis cover every wall of insanity.

To live, to eat, and to suffocate it determination without air.
Dramatically hallucination against its will of no wells.
Until it realizes it can drink without water.

No further needs a slumber.
The mind-bends and unfolds to ordinary jolts, 
When left to human consummation.
Insincerely bidding and cutting to die in the sleep.
Is how it pleads!

Graves where dreams have no meaning.
Caves where goodness can be redeemed.
A temple of misguided fortune.
All respect lost to this infection,
The patients’ weight distracted from an antidote.

The madness begins too finds admiration-
That makes catastrophe go on and on.
The psychosis of the mind and mockeries of them will never be gone
Dictating in everything wrong,
Layers of cramped bricks, level the isolation.

Death drags its feet off into this infinite helix world.
A source of light breeding out of darkness.

"Sanity is no friend of mine!"
Insanity is earth herself, 

Where there is life, there is a reason, 
Where there is reason, there is madness,
Where there is madness, there you are,   
Feeling nothing………………...
Lost in darkness................ 

~Your soul is kicking and screaming
Life ends with death~~

by:pd

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Can You Spare A Teardrop

I cried for so long, so many nights,
and now no more tears can drop,
I'm all out, do you have some to spare,
cause you know once I start, I can't stop.

I go on for days with a heavy heart,
no tears fall, though inside I'm crying,
I feel empty, hollow, dark inside,
a soul dead, and still is dying.

Can I fill a bucket from your well,
the sun came out, dried up my rain,
I'll take them carefully, try not to spill,
cause I've got a need to ease the pain.

That feeling of washing away the sorrow,
with trickling tear-water, clear and cool,
soothes the soul, relaxes the ache,
can I dive right into your swimming pool?

I need to pour out your flowing brook,
to keep me crying a river for today,
I want to hold despair in my hands,
please let this melancholy feeling stay.





Out of Water contest
placed 14th




Details | How I Feel Poem | |

SOMEDAY


As this week closes into hours of pewter night may the moonlight touch your lips while I sleep in the arms of dreams unrefined. Though I may not be with you on misty evenings caved by my pride, but think of me as I send you this whispering sigh of an embrace feathered by the sky... I humble myself in your presence not, but, wait for me to disrobe this façade, while you can, then… Remember days like other days when the roof of blank shades begin to unwrap this cloistered body hidden in a pile of sawdust still reeling like a glistened dragonfly. The light bulbs of time's avenues are streaked with marquees of a name where the lattice of my wishes climb into a garden of your moistened eyes so green. Thomas Martin's Days Contest 4/29/2015

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Winter Solstice

You are the shortest day but longest night within a memory of my four seasons Every cell in my body remembers you It remembers Your amorous glance Your ardent touch Your effervescent kiss and even your last whisper a careless whisper which sickened my thought and pained me with grief Every breath from my lungs remembers your absence How can I forget it I live with it I die inside of it It surrounds my existence Your absence Bitter! Dark ! Darker than death itself You -Solstizio D'Inverno Where is your promise of new beginning Where is the light of what was pure I know you! I know you enough to know You still feel me in your bones I know you! I know you enough to know You bury me in your soul Then you dig.. You dig crazily beneath poured dusk which fills the hourglass beyond your veins You dig deep to find me again You find me You hold me I know you! I know you enough to know You hold me to your heart I know you! I know you enough to know I'm still your life-line Your love travels as far as the stars as distant as God and undiscovered orbits But was that Yesterday's illusion For how long should this candle shine How dim its glow now Low is the voice which calls the sun to rebirths prisms from droplets'dew Weak are the footprints which mark our path on moonlit snow I should stop walking I should stop calling Stop believing Wanting,Needing The sun sank in the stillness of a crimson horizon In the solitude of the tide never to dawn in these eyes again Winter Solstice You are my coldest verse of silence My longest night of rain

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

I THINK THEREFORE I AM

I THINK THEREFORE I AM "An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition" --Michael Korda Liberty... This everyone's want-- stretching an autonomy to unbuckle self-discovery I got mites and bugs living in my head-- infesting my mind. They... daring a chance to worm my guts and electrify my peace. They adulterate seeking ways to emerge from claws of doubts to grains of trust. My veil of grace they bite and bite devouring me 'til I set to pursue my act. Should I repulse... then spread my wings to fly? or should I be a little puppet-- controlled, slave to strings attached to me? or I'd rather choose a mask-- my gamble to earn sympathy or popularity; my weapon sheltering my luck; my fall or my win? Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. The mites and bugs in my skull blown from shocks infused by my firing drive. My cavalry of Modesty, brave to rise face the furnace of battlegrounds. Insincerity. Malingering. Pretension are artillaries luring hypocrisy but love, honesty and bravery: the bombs I defy to conquer the trades. If God is with me, who can be against me? Standing like a Molave rooted evergreen, ever strong. My face bulletproof to those who I believe wrong. A standing soldier ready to offer her life to fraud and tyranny. I refuse to be fed on standing lies. The harpoons of verity, I battling dart, raining towards the barbaric boxes as they... They are my lioness roar, my freedom and my soar piercing the pumping heart of those who eat innocence, I... dauntless! _________________________________________________ ** I think therefore I am is said by Rene Descartes Romans 8:31-- If God is with us, who can be against us? O. E. Guillermo 10:43 pm, April 18, 2015

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Deflated

                     Feeling deflated
            Needing a breath of fresh air
                 Come and pump me up







Pd's Contest
8/15/2014

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

One World

Love is not a color,
No hue, neither a race.
All of our blood is the same, 
That runs deep within our veins.

If we could lift up each other,
And know that we all care.
If we help our sisters and brothers,
There's a bond that we'll share.








©2013 Honestly JT

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Pretty Poet

Where Have All The Pretty Poets Gone? 

A real poet are you, charismatic over everything you serve
Showcasing, a rainbow that folds the perfect world wide perspective
I'm talking about flawless literature at its best no typos, no muss
Just a page full of boredom and rust
Thank you for having Lunesta all up in my head
It's like reading a poetry lesson, from the extras of The Walking Dead
An image frozen cold, waiting for inspiration to hit like Al Capone
I'm bored of your flora flamboyant language rocking me like stones
A psychedelic trip, into the odyssey of a blind man's tale
A home where I am pushed to open a dictionary & thesaurus with braille
Wondering what you just said, --Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful day! 
  
The best rocket pen poet in the USA Today, 
Launching words like no tomorrow, a fool of wordplay and sorrow
A godlike guinea-pig genius, delegating poetry politician style
Perhaps, one day you will become a famous writer
Burning books, like a cigarette lighter
Until then, enjoy pushing your pen as if it was cocaine, 
Snorting up and cutting up the food chain in vain
Patronizing and ignoring those, for better or worse
A solo cup stuck up another cup, -won't even look my way
Correct me if you will, it's no big deal
Just don't forget to give me the same respect I offer you

Until then my pretty poetic friend, I kneel before no one 

By: ME
5-25-14

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast

In the deep core of her skin
I feel a human who is no saint  
Cutting out her heart, ripping everything in shreds
Leaving my prey gutless, in every form of sin
(HUSBAND) 
Watch the last beat of her heart as I slowly slaughter your (WIFE)
Thank you for participating as I slowly kill her in every way

Stripping her down, enjoying her birthday suit
Watch as I slice her throat,
enjoy the color red pumping out her neck
She gasp, she gulps on her blood
Gently I reach in and remove her silent tongue
I devour her deepness, for all the beauty you mistook 
Detaching all her limbs before she gave God her grace

I gave her no pity while she gave one last breath
Look at the empty emotions I left behind in her eye
Staring right back, as I  pound a new cavity in her chest
Laughing at her brutal cry!
Confessing, it was time to satisfy the demons within
Chuckle at the  thought, how beauty up and left
Trapped by God's given darkness, 
Depressing abyss no one will miss

Her mind such a waste, a hunger she left behind only I can taste 
Her eyes, I will cut and burn, for allowing him to blind her way-
Her red plum lips, I have sewn shut,  for never speaking up-
Her tongue I swallowed completely
I could not stand the crying of the soon to be slaughtered sheep
Bathing naked in her guts for not defending herself
Plunging out her spine, pricking my finger on her hip
My blood gushing out thick while hers flows thin
Analyzing while mutilating, myself reflected twin

A mistake was to lurk, trapping the beauty within 
Putting her in a coffin, knowing this will dry up the tears
I'm holding up a guard with an unbreakable shell
My prisoner in this body of lust, forgetting the meaning of hell

The women inside is dead, I murdered her long ago
The front I put upon is colder than snow
How can I let her find her Beauty-----------(WIFE)
When she still lives with the beast----------(HUSBAND)


I know her only secret,
That will give her life and brighten her glow
Give her a delicate rose and you will see!
The ugliness will melt, and reveal her true identity 

*Thank you Beast, 
*For reminding me what killed the Beauty 

Dark Poetry-Epic
~*~

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Let Me Go

You have caged me for too long
I want you to just let me go,
I have to spread these feathered wings
I need to feel the wind's blow.

You know that I love you truly
I said that I would never leave,
I want to see the rain's dance
Not just sit here and perceive.

The scene never changes, day after day
I want to go where white roses bloom,
I have never seen an ocean's wave
And neither have you, I assume.

I need to see the autumn tree's change
I want to see the snowflake's glisten,
I am wishing on the stars as they fall
This is my dream, so please just listen.

I want to fly in the sky's blue
I need to feel the sun's burn,
When I have experienced these wonders
I promise that I will return.




Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Soul mates solace

When my final shadows cling on desperately
Where I fight formidable battles
to merely hold the light
I send you loving vibrations
and soul sustenance
Deep from the cathedral
of one heart to another
where today no choirs sing
nor symphonies play
Yet it is here where we meet
in spiritual solace
here to surrender 
and exchange inestimable treasures
recollecting memories 
like unopened letters
Galaxies are stretched
over chronicles of shared history
Nebula birthing stars
will be exposed
in forth-coming conversations
bringing short-lived fulfillment to you
Hungry to feast
now will be the time
to approve your blood art vision
and with my own haunting surrender
as dappled shades ink stain your chest
I will reside with you and share, mesmerised 
pens - by branding
as this will be your written reams to me
your artist's pallet or brushed canvas
no need for words
and yet creating
mysterious magical moments
Bitter-sweet the music
that dances taut guitar strings
but now blood approved
please go kick your heel up
return to your laughter
and ride on the breeze
for not all are lost
change not
for I am with you always
to love, listen and comfort as one
with you in me and I in you
as masterpiece

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Toddler Sky

-Toddler Sky-

Down where I sleep, 
You hold me, embrace my every way
The Marks up on my skin
You caress, taking away from the ugliness

Watching the simple breath, when I breathe
Breaking the ice, soothing my inner peace
A sweet spray across the paleness in my limbs
Holding the warmth, I've been loved throughout my life.
From picking up sticks to the walking stick
My loving dear I know you will always be there
A few wheel chairs, when broken bones mend
You know my every cure*
Walk with me across the hall
Through the oldness, and the boldness of every color in the sky
Thank you for taking me as I am
A light twinkle' every time I feel the colors of the rainbow drip
Now a newborn takes his form
In you I find the strength to stretch my arms and reach for every star

When happy moments fail, 
I embraced the colors I found in you
I make out every tree, and wonder why and how?
I close my eyes to imagine the fun of chasing fireflies
Tonight I'm keeping my prayers simple, cute, and innocent
I will count sheep and search for sweet lullaby dreams
Smiling like a 3 year old this very moment, 
You think I'm having "Baby Blues."
My loving dear, thanks for having patience,
Painting my way down a toddlers sky
Every time  "P M S" hits

~SKAT~

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

YESTERDAY I CRIED

Why, Momma, why?
Was I not deserving 
of you?
Was I not good?  
Was I too frail?
Did you send me away
Because your own life 
derailed?

Why, Momma, why
Do I still secretly wail?
Asking myself what did I do so 
wrong? How did I fail?

What you called rebelliousness
Was the only way I knew how 
to stay strong sometimes, I'd 
stay up all night looking after you
Got banged and bruised so that 
he wouldn't hurt you

No one else did that
Isn't it true?
Did you ever think about my wounds
That was the only way I knew to
protect you

Instead of helping me 
You banished me through lies,
Stripped me from my home,
My siblings, my life

Withheld your love
Because I tried to take my own life
But did you ever stop and think that
Perhaps something in me wasn't right?

Why, momma, why?
Does your absence whisper in me
A forever sorrowful lullaby and
Although, I miss you I love you more 
each day that goes by

I forgive you wholeheartedly
Despite that yesterday, I cried
I wouldn't hesitate to wipe
The tears from your eyes if they 
ever again were to meet with mine

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

You and I and I and You

You, who are so perfect in my eyes, so beautiful- adorable, and I, so flawed, ugly, damaged and crawling with defects; why do you enjoy my company? 

You, who are so sleek and slender, humming with a quiet intellect and a serenity about you, and I, so grossly overweight and pretentiously boastful and nervous; how can you abide my company?

You, who are a paragon of patience, so understanding and self-assured, and I, so insanely impulsive, so myopic and brimming with self-doubt; how do you stand my company?

You, who are so sweet, so considerably kind, so thoughtful and generous, and I, so bitter, so selfish, so self-absorbed; why do you choose my company?

You, who are so self-composed, full of self-control, so sound and stable, and I, so very neurotic, so completely compulsive and verily volatile; how can you tolerate my company?

You, who are so diligent, so driven and ambitious, so achieving, and I, so lackadaisically lazy, so uninspired, so complacent; why do you settle for my company?

You, who are ethical, so moral, so very virtuous, and I, so corrupt, so unprincipled, so wholly wicked; how can you endure my company?

You, who are so normal, so well-adjusted, so conventional, and I, so maniacal, so unbalanced and irrational; why do you condone my company?

You, who are bubbling with charm, who loves unconditionally and is absolutely accepting, and I, boiling with rage, fueled by misanthropy and incredibly intolerant; how can you welcome my company?

That you love and accept me for who and what I am, is a treasure beyond measure. I cherish your company, but why you cherish mine is something I cannot fathom. All I know is that I love you, my dear, beloved friend.

**This was written for two very dear friends: Karen and Tommy :)
***I also love palindromes ;)

*****FREE VERSE OLD AND NEW ENTRY

Details | How I Feel Poem | |

Paranoid love

Tell me that this fear is just paranoia in my mind, 
we're not straining, we're not struggling, 
we're not sinking, we're just fine. 
I'm not perfect my dearest, but damn have I tried, 
and I'll try harder but I know I'll have the same results every time. 
Do you want me all the ways that I am? 
With all the struggles and the tears and the clinging to your hand. 
I fear your getting further and Im left on the shore to stand, 
watching you in the distance with a bullet in my hand. 
Tell me all this worry, its just clutter in my mind, 
tell me not to worry that we're doing just fine. 
Cause Im scared to run you off and I feel Im falling deep. 
And Im so frightened of these thoughts that its getting hard to sleep.
All I know is that the heart wants what it desires, 
because of you the match inside has turned into a fire. 
And I feel the broken glass thats sticking from my skin, 
Wondering if you'll remove the pain or push it back in. 
My hearts frantic wondering if you feel the same, 
pleading and begging for more than just a saying, 
but to feel and to see that im not alone, 
with being in this love thats overwhelming. 
Once I told you that we didnt have a spark, 
but you were lighting up and I was sitting in the dark. 
And this fire, this blaze its wrapped in desire. 
Im terrified to lose you, I think I might die or, 
maybe disappear from all the pieces falling out, 
im going crazy but when i open my mouth, nothing comes out, 
and I cant explain to you why I just need to hold you close, 
why every time you leave Im scared to let you go, 
why these tears are building up behind my eyes, 
all I know is that the heart wants what it desires 
and it desires to be your wife. 
So tell me in my panic, that your words are true, 
tell my my dearest what I mean to you, 
tell me that this paranoia is all within my mind 
we're not struggling, we're not sinking tell me we're just fine