Your Outlandish Maze and My Time of Anguish and Cheer

In the mirror, I see my face melt away in shame And, yet I still hunt for game…feeling this shame without a well-thought-out name I hunt you down to catch some inspiration I’m not looking for fame…I want to see you flourish with anticipation But, my heart’s pumping with aggravation Why do they put labels on me? Why do I devour their debris? Perhaps, it makes them feel satisfied… to know that I had a psychotic breakdown Why me? How did I end up in a mental institution? I wish I could flee… I wish I could…I wish I knew The true answers…but I’m left to question my own actions… Not to seek satisfactions… I want to be set free… From poverty… angst… and anxiety… How can you comfort me…how can you save me… In this time of tribulation? Do you sense my distasteful, hideous frustration? You are a supportive companion, I see… I still think of you fondly…of course I do, you see… I think of you being with me possibly I’m gazing dreamily at your sparkling eyes Were you aware…(didn’t you know…) I was waiting for you on the other side of the barbed wire fence? Tears collapse in the palms of my right and left hand, Drenched in desolation and I’m seeking repentance Where are you? Where did you go off to? Are you grazing in your own outlandish maze? Fear arise from their deathbeds and lands in my mind (a misery magnet as it is) Don’t plant regret that catches me off guard Life can get so hard…life can get so hard… It’s something I’d discard if I had the guts to do it I’m a distressed, demented and determined bard But, I’ll become a flourishing, upbeat, and earnest poet One day, I wish to be a light that illuminates the reader’s mind Grace in your own maze – you can’t have my land! It’s a land only I could understand! I must stand tall and make a triumphant stand! I hope you don’t mind me being blind temporarily This test of being blindfolded is difficult and gets me out of my shell completely I’m a deck of playing cards with a missing card, however, I’m played with all over again, waiting for the battle to begin Pushed in the margins… pushed out of shape, indulging myself in this one particular sin! Where’s my kith and kin? They are in my heart, deep within! I can taste a smile creeping in..it’s such a surprise – a gift I prize I will never despise it, But don’t you know that I’m not wise and trapped in my poverty pit? I’m staring longingly at your crackling, dazzling eyes that singe with fire Your grin is what I hold dear – Tt’s a gift that I prize… Giving me natural highs You fought the battle and the wind whistles in our ears… Sorry for releasing these tears that have been in captivity inside of me It has been in captivity in me for so long, longing to be free… I tell the voices in my head to leave… In Christ’s name, will you leave? Just let me breathe for a second…I can’t believe I didn’t tell you that I care for you so much… I’d give up my life for you Vanity is not what I reap this time I’d sacrifice myself for you Spending time with you is wicked and sublime – It’s another mountain to climb It’s another arduous adventure – time flips like a rusty dime I’d do anything for you…I’d give you satisfying vibrations, vibes and chills You gather merriness in the flower hills You harvest paradise and sprinkled it upon my wings – this feeling never kills This feeling never kills my positivity Do you long to flee like me? Do you wanna sprout with me like a nourished tree? You fought my battle and you looked after me when I was alone at home You shot the predator down (YOU MADE A BULL’S EYE!)…he was tracking me down like a spy… Life holds such a significant meaning…despite the gray clouds That frown upon me so…like an envious enemy, wearing hatred shrouds Nothin’ but gray skies blanket my eyes… I’m pretending to be included in the crowd When I’m alone, I don’t feel alone with God keeping an eye on me I pray earnestly and willingly…