Your Equity Release Plan

>For the umpteenth time I have received in the mail. The post one not email a letter from a company informing me of my equity release plan. They enclosed a prepaid envelope. Seems a shame to waste it. This is my reply plus I enclosed a list of my books and an introduction to The mad Author lol. My equity release plan Tuesday 15 March 2016 Dear Sir, Thank you for your circular letter, I received it just today. The date that heads this reply which I trust you will read, I say. I wish I was homeowner, as you're right, I'm seventy-two. Alas I'm not, as I am not as rich as blinking you. You see I worked for a charity, caring for animal welfare, every day. Although they supplied me with a shelter, I existed on low pay. But it was a job, I chose, when I left the RAVC. I really did feel for all the animals, I saw treated so cruelly. I do not own my own home, it does not belong to me. So I'm really now sad and upset, I am not getting any equity. But if you bought one of my books, okay, make that two or three. I only need to sell 999,997 more, to qualify for your equity. I'm known as The mad Author, not my real name. You see. You already know my Christian name, as you addressed your letter correct to me. I'm using your prepaid envelope, which I thank you for. But guess this reply, will soon occupy your wastebasket on the floor. That really is a pity,I'll no doubt not hear from you anymore. Unless you buy one of my books, then could be a fan for evermore. And if you advertise me for free. I really will have to thank thee. And I guess you're kind of busy, so this is all now you'll get from me. And that ladies and gentlemen is how I replied to the unsolicited mail that popped through my letterbox. I often do this, as find it is a very cheap way of spreading poetry about the countryside. And who knows, one of these days, someone might read it whose brain goes, click, this man is good, we must publish him. Hurry up Dragon this cloud is getting very thin. I need a lift back to Earth. 'Paralysed everybody'. I said, 'have a nice day, everybody.' Dragon you must concentrate. (The mad author)<