Your Baby Is the Ugliest Around

By Elton Camp “Come over here and give a smile While you praise my newborn child.” I can certainly see why it they’d be lovin’ Since it had spent nine months in the oven. When I saw it, my mouth dropped open. I wondered why it was they had spoken. The baby’s face was all red And it had bruises on its head. A baby’s pate is supposed to be round, But theirs had a point right at its crown. The newborn’s eyes are expected to be blue, But to call his yellow and red is more true. Too, in a highly visible spot The kid had a lump of snot. Yet, it wouldn’t do for me to give a frown Or say, “Your baby’s the ugliest around.”