You Don'T Know

Smiles and laughs are all I ever show but if you look a little closer you’d see what you don’t know. You’d see all the marks and every single cut. You’d see that sometimes I look like a helpless mutt. You’d know that every time I look at myself, I want to get out of my body and flee. It’s not easy knowing all these scars were made by me. You’d know I know its bad and yet I still don’t even care. It’s not like I’m taking in more than I can bare. You’d know that in order to help me, you should just let me cry and you'd know how hard it is for me to stop, even though I try. You'd know that there are those days when I’m so happy I’m not one bit shy and every word he says makes me want to fly. Lastly you'd know that I always find my way back to the fake smiles and the lying, and all the thoughts knowing inside I’m dying.