Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Tums

My wife and I went for a cruise in the Caribbean Sea, I decided that I would talk like a pirate ‘till she got sick of me. I told her that I was going to steal a look at her treasured chest, Or get my hands on her booty whichever I liked the best. And if she’d shiver me timber I told her that I would swash her buckle, She didn’t think too much of my offer but it made me start to chuckle. I twisted one hand into a gnarled hook and even fashioned for her a peg, I kept it up until, “Please stop this pirate business,” she began to beg. But it seems I had an enemy trying to thwart me on the cruise, A buffet line or my beautiful wife, which one would I choose? And then they fired their big guns at me from the dessert buffet table, The carbs took the wind from my sails until my libido wasn’t able. When you sail the sea with a fork in hand your love life will be fleein’, Try your best not to surrender yourself to the pie plates of the Caribbean.