Writer's Block

For a lifetime you blocked the the thoughts that guided pencil that writes the progress in my life; with new thoughts of pretend love and security that clouded my vision and impaired my sight. My ability to produce a meaningful story was stood still; already written pages like a rose constantly withering with time. My creation was being guided by a new vision and it was no longer mine.I regained consciousness today and saw what was happened and what has become of me but, how do I remove this writers block and begin to rewrite my story as it's supposed to be? I'm afraid, I'm confused, I'm alone, I no longer have direction and I don't know what to do. How do I start over and take my pencil back from you? Maybe I'm too old now a writer past her prime. I let this writer's block consume too much of my time. Should I be logical and stick with this heartbreaking story I never wrote but, continues to sell or face my fear and and create a new story even if I fail.