World's Blue-Ribbon Blank-Er

World's Blue-Ribbon Blank-er A friend of mine, who constantly complained about his spouse, naming her the reason for his totally boogered life, Swore to me there couldn't be...and hadn't ever been...in all the world a more revolting woman than -- his wife. But then, a couple days ago, he called me to inquire would Connie, that's my wife, and I be free that night to dine. By the time we'd finished eating he'd become convinced the most revolting wife in all the world - in fact ---- is mine! Three of us had made our minds up relatively quickly, but Connie...though we ate there close to fifty times a year... Had to read the whole damn menu - just to torque me off - while I'd 've bet my life on what the four of us would hear When she informed the waitress what she'd like! IT NEVER CHANGED!! “Half a rack o' ribs for me, an' make 'em over-easy... A great big baked potato with a ton of extra butter...and mac-n-cheese...but only if it's fresh an’ super cheesy, “HOWEVER… If it's lookin' light on cheese...give me two potatoes...hold the sauce ON the ribs, but I’d like some on the side. We'll need at least a dozen rolls, and tons and tons of butter 'cause anything short of a yellow spud I simply can't abide!” “And what to drink?” the waitress snapped. “I think I'll have a Pepsi," Connie snarled, “and do yourself a favor...bring a pitcher.” By now my friend had figured out...by seeing her in action...which of them deserved the title ---- “world's blue ribbon --- blank-er”! Pausing for a moment to impale her with a glare, the waitress - clearly bristling - hustled off to fetch our drinks. Looking quite bewildered - having witnessed Connie order - and clearly understanding how a kindred spirit thinks, He reached across the table to concede that he was wrong by shaking hands to signify...as bad as things had been... He knew that my predicament was far more bleak than his, and - choking up - he simply said...“I'm sorry, Mark....you win!” BTW - My latest book of "verse", titled - "a Treasure Trove of Rhyme" a giant 10 1/2" X 12" 1/2" Hardcover beast (4 1/2 lbs!!), is till available, and offers 167 poems and 35 illustrations! It's available through either PayPal on my author's website, or by mailing us a check), and is a pretty much a cream of the crop collection up to as recently as 3 years ago. You can buy a copy today at: writerofbooks.com, or you can email me and Connie at: mark@writerofbooks.com for our address for mailing a check. It makes a fine gift for most any poetry fan - PS: I've also posted a bunch of my pieces on YouTube - (search Mark Stellinga Poetry), and I now have a new set of 4 Audio-CDs of my verse listed on ebay under the same search term. Each CD has 62 select pieces, and runs a whopping 4 1/2 hours. Great for when driving or in flight. :-) Cheers, Mark