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Workshop Poem - Winds Forgive

Turning my back on typhoon skies, a pestilent past, I pitch my mistakes into a forgiving wind. Standing barefoot at the edge of apologies, coastal tides carry hope, tomorrows stir on a mariner’s horizon. I search seafaring eyes to discover God waving heartily, welcome home… Turning my back on a turbulent past, silence falls in waves…faces, that once stared with confusion share smiles. I had mistaken their curiosity for condemnation…faltering, teetering, capsized by my own insecurity, I see... time changes perceptions – we can grow, rise. I sing out greetings to this abundance; a forgiving wind, God’s instrument, blows through my soul. I worship in full afternoon sun; riding waves of mid-life, I see you amid rhythmic seas, sultry sunsets, sloping skies, sandy relics, distant mountain peaks, depths of ocean caverns; when I hear a baby’s first cry or wise words of the aged to loved-ones near... I remember your mercy; when I hear the break of waves over my own waking shores and welcome every birth of earth and sea… I remember your mercy. Turning my back on a past, shredded into wisps of yesterday’s despair, I rest in innocence, where I am, where I was born…never looking back. Breath of Life shares resonating beauty and carries my darkest regrets into Heaven’s forgiving winds; I have prayed for this. Your love blankets tranquil dreams in sleep from night sky’s silvery arc of crescent moon. Your love transforms my gifted day’s design from beads of golden sun showers awaiting June. Your love awakens my soul, a gust of penetrating warmth. Your love beats with mine, and I am changed…forever changed. After advice from Cyndi, Debbie and Frederic: Turning my back on typhoon skies, a pestilent past, I pitch my mistakes into windy seas on a quest for forgiveness; I plant bare feet at the edge of apologies. Coastal tides roil in hope, tomorrows smooth out a mariner’s horizon. I float in seafaring eyes to discover God waving heartily, welcome home. Turning my back on a turbulent past, silence falls in waves…I mold clay faces; they once stared with confusion, smiles posed too long. I had mistaken curiosity for condemnation. My body trembles. I falter, teeter, capsized by my own insecurity; Then, I blink and time changes perception. I grasp sunshine till I beam. A golden wave, I taste salt air and greet abundant light; a strong wind cleanses me. God’s soulful instrument blows free. I worship in full afternoon sun; riding waves of mid-life, I see you amid rhythmic seas, sultry sunsets, a slope of sky, sandy relics, mountain peaks high, depths of ocean caverns; when I hear a baby’s first cry or wise words of the aged to loved-ones near, I remember your mercy; when I hear the break of waves over my own waking shores and welcome every birth of earth and sea, I remember your mercy. Turning my back, I shred gray paper into confetti of yesterday’s despair; I rest in innocence, where I am, where I was born, I never look back. My Creator’s breath shares resonating beauty and carries my darkest regrets. Heaven’s winds forgive; Your love blankets dreams in the silvered arc of moon, your love redesigns my days untold with summer sun showers, beads of gold. Your love awakens my soul, winds flood with warmth. Your love beats within, and I am changed, forever changed.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 6/9/2015 11:52:00 PM
Rhonda,:) congrats on your workshop poem
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Date: 5/17/2015 7:27:00 AM
First, this one is a fav for me! When I read the first stanza I thought you could have written it to accompany my new book. And thank you for buying it, when you start reading you will see what I mean.
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Date: 5/15/2015 7:00:00 AM
Rhonda. Urgent. Please read Tyshawn's blog and my responses. Trying to take care of dear soup friends. Please, please, be careful!
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Date: 5/15/2015 6:59:00 AM
Im trying to send you a soup mail but it isn't working! Gaw!!
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Date: 5/12/2015 9:32:00 PM
OOOh, love what you did with this!!! By tightening the adjectives in the first stanza, I think it makes the ones you used for seas, sunsets and skies more effective. It moves now, quicker. Now, this is up to you, hon, but you could play with spacing now, if you wish. There is a natural break for example right after heartily. You could frame the "welcome home" in space, empty line before and after, you could even indent it. I see from sultry sunsets that I think you'd like to explore spacing?
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/12/2015 9:59:00 PM
I'd love to explore spacing more. Sometimes, I do try, but I'm afraid to over do it. I'll play with it...see what comes about. I have trouble finishing a poem...seems I'm never satisfied. This is as close as I get! Thanks!! Hugs
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Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/12/2015 9:37:00 PM
I think the loss of the ellipsis is amazing. The last line with the repetition? Holy cow. Yup. A strong finish there! I'll check back tomorrow night... hugs. Be proud!!!
Date: 5/12/2015 2:51:00 PM
Question is,Are you happy with it?For me the changes made gave it ease, it seemed to me to flow better...you are forever changed and so is your poem..
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/12/2015 3:39:00 PM
I could rewrite a poem 100 times and still, I won't be completely happy with it. I'm happy at the moment! I may change my mind.
Date: 5/10/2015 11:58:00 AM
Okies here goes [I'm a bit scared LOL] Why do the whole verse in italics? You shouldn't do it just because it looks prettier. You should have a valid poetic reason for everything you do. No, no NO on the ... elipsis - you will go to the circular file in a heartbeat for using elipsises wrong & why chnace it? Refer to comments on Kevins page.
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/12/2015 12:53:00 PM
I made changes, taking everyone's advice into consideration. Thanks! Let me know what you think.
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/10/2015 9:29:00 PM
Breath of Life (capitalized) is in reference to God/Higher Power/Creator. Do you think God's breath or Creator's breath works better. Ok...going to work on the other changes, too. Thanks, Deb, and Happy Mother's day!
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/10/2015 9:24:00 PM
Don't be scared...LOL. I can take it! That's why I posted this poem. I know it needs work. I have a habit of using ellipses when I want a pause. I'll take them out. Cyndi suggested I print out the poem and work on it that way. I'll be taking it head on tomorrow! Italics is another poetry soup habit. I'll take them out, too.
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Debbie Guzzi
Date: 5/10/2015 11:59:00 AM
[ Breath of Life shares - Life's breath or My breath?]3rd stanza from the bottom.[sleep,(from) night's sky presents a silvery arc of moon.] 2nd to last verse.- to show the ARC & then TELL us it's a cresent is redundant & no need for FROM. -with those changes I know 2 places to send this to!
Date: 5/10/2015 3:44:00 AM
Very good. My advice is to print it out.. now, underline each word that is either an adjective. Can some become a stronger verb or even a verb, itself... take Heaven's forgiving winds... lookie... Heaven's winds forgive. Also, check yourself for redundancy... like saying the smile on my face... all smiles are on faces... so.... dreams in sleep. Not needed, in sleep. Your love blankets dreams in the silvered/ arch of the moon, redesigns my day/ with June's sun showers, beads of gold.
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/12/2015 12:52:00 PM
Ok, I printed it out and made quite a few changes. Thanks for all the advice. Let me know what you think.
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/10/2015 9:42:00 PM
You don't sound clipped, and this is all great advice, Cyndi. I'm glad my poem brought you peace and some sleep. I'm going to print it out tomorrow and work on it. I knew there was some redundancy. I could probably cut the poem in half, though I probably won't go that far. Happy Mother's Day!
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Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/10/2015 3:48:00 AM
My goodness I sound "clipped" up there. It's quarter to five here. Insomnia. Did I even say I love where this poem takes us? now, me, silly and dizzy, am going back to sleep. Your poem brought me peace, tonight... thanks hon
Date: 5/9/2015 10:21:00 PM
the only change I would make would be to remove turning my back on a turbulent past and turning my back on a past..you have already established that with your first line of the poem..the rest is re-connecting with your faith..it may just be my own personal taste..beautiful poem by the way..
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/12/2015 12:51:00 PM
Change made...thanks again!
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/9/2015 10:37:00 PM
Yes, I see what you mean. I wanted the refrain of "Turning my back" but the two "pasts" does feel redundant. I'll see what else I can come up with...thanks, Frederic!
Date: 5/9/2015 5:26:00 PM
I love the wind motif . . . gentle, airy and with a strength to lift my heart in praise. a wind that blows away pretense and lays bare bedrock of faith and love. 7
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Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
Date: 5/11/2015 9:30:00 AM
Thanks for always bringing sunshine to my pages, David! I'm making changes to this poem, but it won't be too different and the message will be the same...have a blessed week. Hugs, Rhonda

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