He spends his nights cold, and full of desperate wonder. Pondering time; and his place amidst the infinite mass around him. For as he pleads for his eye lids to fall, he knows the planet he inhabits
is doing just that: falling. Spinning into nothing. “Where am I going?” He thinks. “Do I even care?”. His lids finally give in and he becomes lost in dreams of “what may, or may not be”.
At times he becomes sullen and afraid; others he feels an unexplainable nirvana that he's never been able to fully grasp.
Infinity has that effect on the mortal I suppose. And, with a mind perpetually tossing hypothetical wisdom and theoretical truths; He watches his shadow twinge away from the light that he is compelled to follow. And his soul dances in a state of disenchantment, trying to find rhythm in a world of chaos.
All the while his tongue searches through sour notes and intimate whispers, his minds lays still on the fading memory of innocence and unconditional love. Savoring the serenity of spellbound grace and relentless joy; something to be missed by a sinner's palate.
What is a boy to do?
He finds himself rowing the challenges of a man in a world that favors the strong. And yet, his trembling arms seek nothing resembling operative strength. He seeks only love, and finds comfort in the idea potrayed by his imaginative heart.
But is it real?
Or an oasis languishing before a foolish boy?
The test of a man is surely an atrocious endeavor that this young fledgling cowers beneath tonight.
His eyes journey toward the stars as his soul races to quantify the elaborate scheme poised above.
He can't help but curse the heavens, something he instantly regrets. He knows the luminous miracles beyond did not forsake his essence; It was his choices that begged for punishment.
That very thought is something to be cherished.
For its appraisal is a catalyst for his evolution.
-James Kelley 2011©
Copyright © James Kelley